[WikidPissah]

This week T told me that his father passed away last week. I gave him my condolences. He was a little choked up, but he said "it feels strange, but you lost your dad, so you know what I mean". I was instantly back 10 years ago. He asked me some questions about it, and we discussed the differences...his dad having been a fairly good dad with some issues, my dad being being an abusive alcoholic. But even with these extreme differences we were able to "compare notes". He had to make the decision to "pull the plug"...as did I. We talked a lot about grieving, and about other stuff that goes along with loosing a parent....going thru their belongings, visiting the gravesite, trying to remember some of their "story".

It was a different kind of session, but I bonded with him. At the end I caught myself actually looking him in the face. (I never take my eyes off the floor). I felt connected to him. I wasn't anxious or jittery...and it was a huge break from talking about the cancer issues. It was oddly peaceful, and I left feeling really good about the session. That's a first for me too.

[WePow]

((((((Eileen))))) that is so wonderful that you were able to bond with your T in this way and around this truth. I sense you gave your T back something with this... something he needed that he will not ever forget. Way to go!!!!!

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Eileen2010

This week T told me that his father passed away last week. I gave him my condolences. He was a little choked up, but he said "it feels strange, but you lost your dad, so you know what I mean". I was instantly back 10 years ago. He asked me some questions about it, and we discussed the differences...his dad having been a fairly good dad with some issues, my dad being being an abusive alcoholic. But even with these extreme differences we were able to "compare notes". He had to make the decision to "pull the plug"...as did I. We talked a lot about grieving, and about other stuff that goes along with loosing a parent....going thru their belongings, visiting the gravesite, trying to remember some of their "story".

It was a different kind of session, but I bonded with him. At the end I caught myself actually looking him in the face. (I never take my eyes off the floor). I felt connected to him. I wasn't anxious or jittery...and it was a huge break from talking about the cancer issues. It was oddly peaceful, and I left feeling really good about the session. That's a first for me too.

wow eileen i was so happy for you to read this.i bet you bid help him as much as he helped you and connected.that is great

[with or without you]

That's a great story, I bet you feel really good about it.

[geez]

((( Eileen ))) Thank you for a positive sharing of your T session. I needed that!

[Melbadaze]

Eileen., Good!

[Symbiosis]

Awesome! Isn't it the best when Ts share and are genuine?

[jexa]

Oh that is awesome Eileen. Opening up is so much easier when you find that connection. I'm so glad you have that connection with your T, now

[WikidPissah]

yea, it's weird, I kind of feel like I want to give him some trauma info now. Not a lot, just a basic "this is what the trauma is". When I first started with him in July I told him PTSD was one of my dx's, and he said "at some point I'm going to need to know what the trauma was". Back then I thought never. Now I want to just give him a brief overview...a quick glance. He does need to know, and I think I can tell him now, I think I trust him. Hopefully he won't want to delve into it deeply, but I don't think he will, he doesn't push me past my limit, he brings me right up to the limit, then takes the time to help me ground.

[jilliebeanmn]

That is great Eileen!

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Eileen2010

yea, it's weird, I kind of feel like I want to give him some trauma info now.

He shared with you and now you want to share with him. Sharing with each other builds trust. Your relationship sounds wonderful and supportive--in both directions.

[chaotic13]

Personally, when my T relationship was allowed to flow both ways a little bit that's when I finally started sharing and moving forward. I'm not in therapy anymore and am doing well. I think my T allowing a little two way exchange helped me a lot.