If I had an hour...

Omers · Jan 16, 2011, 09:46 AM

If you had 1 hour (and I mean ALL 60 minutes not this 50 minute hour crap

) with your T to do something special what would it be?

Omers · Jan 16, 2011, 09:52 AM

Massage T and I went to a garden and walked around taking pictures. It was such a powerful time together and so healing in so many ways. We had real mutuality for a whole hour... we both got to be "just" us.

With my T I would like to go to the symphony. (yeh, I know, how freaking weird can you get

). To be able to sit next to her, surrounded by beautiful music and have a valid reason for not talking! Then we could talk about it our next session!

WePow · Jan 16, 2011, 09:56 AM

If I could do ANYTHING - it would be to go to the ocean with just the two of us and experience the vastness and peace that is there without anyone else around - but being totally free.

Omers · Jan 16, 2011, 10:01 AM

Do we get to bring home a seashell to remember it with?

Perna · Jan 16, 2011, 10:52 AM

I'll take a good therapy hour being wholly "with" T and she with me, any day. We only have the present moment, always, and I like to remember that sometimes and be extra tuned in to "Now" and what it brings.

Melbadaze · Jan 16, 2011, 10:53 AM

cant think of anything more special then having someone take care of me..whether that be 50mins or 60mins..quality rather then lenght i guess, time after all is just a marker doesnt mean 60mins would be anymore special then 5mins...but fantasy wise I wonder what it would be like to walk side by side in the countryside...but thats just fantasy....

Chronic · Jan 16, 2011, 12:23 PM

Like others, it would be somewhere outside- park, ocean etc. I would sit and listen to him for a change- to hear about his hurts and wishes, experiences, desires etc

Jan 16, 2011, 03:20 PM

If I had an hour to do something special with my therapist, I would want to go to her home, sit in her kitchen/den/living room, and have her tell me about HERSELF. I would enjoy looking at her photos and personal things.

And I would like for her to break the 'no touch' rule and hug me just one time!

chancy512 · Jan 16, 2011, 03:29 PM

I agree with everyone about being outside and taking in the beauty with her. But since I can't do that, I would love the FULL 60 min to be about her telling me all about her likes/dislikes, history, lifestyle ANYTHING. She is so against saying anything. We have had one personal conversation and that was about her not having any children and me struggling to have children. I wish she would open up more about it becasue it just may make it easier for me.

Good topic!

rainbow8 · 03:52 PM

I would like to combine some of the answers already given. First, I'd like to spend some time in T's house, meet her family, and see all of her artwork and photographs. Then I'd like us to go to the lake and just talk. For some reason, this fantasy is bringing tears to my eyes. Maybe I'll tell it to her.

with or without you · Jan 16, 2011, 04:17 PM

I'd like to get fall-down drunk with her!

Jan 16, 2011, 04:24 PM

Side note: I had a client who asked me to get drunk with her once we were finished in treatment. Thus, I had to laugh at your post withorwithoutyou.

I have lots of kids inside. Their wishes surround "mommy" stuff. So they'd like an hour of bedtime routine (safe bath, snuggles, tuck in, story, etc) at her house. For me, I think I'd like to take a whole hour without a filter in my head, to really lay it out there for her.

SpiritRunner · Jan 16, 2011, 05:21 PM

Oh, I don't know......I think I'd just like to go to some cool coffee place and sit there with a coffee and discuss deep intellectual/spiritual things.....she is so smart and a deep thinker and we have some similar interests, and I would love to just have a deep conversation with her that absolutely nothing to do with my emotional issues or needs!

Wowy, I had to laugh too - but that would never happen, my T said she hardly ever drinks, because she doesn't want to lose control.....so my naughty thought is, I wonder what would happen if she did?!

with or without you · Jan 16, 2011, 05:46 PM

haha, there's actually a complicated reason behind my choice

1) I have moderate social anxiety (used to be severe) and am quite introverted, but I enjoy being around people who are totally blasted because they make me laugh. I can't ever go to that point with them, because alcohol + Paxil is a no-no after 1 drink for me. It is hard to nurse one drink all night long, I get laughed at but it is what it is. Also, my mother was an alcoholic and I am afraid I would become one very easily because of my own deep problems. Alcohol is a wonderful self-medication. Many people don't know when to stop.

2) Losing complete control just seems so exciting to me, especially if it happened to me and T! "Keep 'em coming Sir, it's always 5 o'clock somewhere! mffghgdfggrsgggg" I would be falling on the floor laughing. I might tell her this in therapy sometime, since we are working on my attachment to her.....but maybe not.

PS. I would also like to go to a hockey game (ice hockey for those of you outside of North America) with her, but I understand we would have to separate after 60 minutes.

Kacey2 · Jan 16, 2011, 05:46 PM

I would want to be t's dog for just one hour so I could play a good game of fetch with him and then sit in his lap and let him pet me and scratch my ears for a good long time. You know shake a paw, get a treat, what a jolly old time that would be.

OMGosh my imagination is running wild with this one. I better not think about this anymore.

with or without you · Jan 16, 2011, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kacey2

I would want to be t's dog for just one hour so I could play a good game of fetch with him and then sit in his lap and let him pet me and scratch my ears for a good long time. You know shake a paw, get a treat, what a jolly old time that would be.

OMGosh my imagination is running wild with this one. I better not think about this anymore.

that is so funny, I don't think I have ever imagined being an animal at all. Haha I know what you mean about the imagination running wild

Jan 16, 2011, 05:57 PM

I recently told T that I wanted us to run away together. He could sit in the back of the van and I could drive and we could listen to the Grateful Dead and have the windows down. Then we could go to Barnes and Noble and make fun of the books in the self-help section. LOL I have NO idea where that came from, but I felt it so strongly.

I do think I'd like to go on a little road trip with T. That sounds nice.

PreacherHeckler · Jan 16, 2011, 06:10 PM

Something playful. I would like to laugh with him and have fun, because I feel closest to him when something one of us says or does makes us both laugh at the same time. If I could have one hour with him to do anything I want, I would like to build a snowman together and have a snowball fight.

SpiritRunner · Jan 16, 2011, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by with or without you

haha, there's actually a complicated reason behind my choice

1) I have moderate social anxiety (used to be severe) and am quite introverted, but I enjoy being around people who are totally blasted because they make me laugh. I can't ever go to that point with them, because alcohol + Paxil is a no-no after 1 drink for me. It is hard to nurse one drink all night long, I get laughed at but it is what it is. Also, my mother was an alcoholic and I am afraid I would become one very easily because of my own deep problems. Alcohol is a wonderful self-medication. Many people don't know when to stop.

2) Losing complete control just seems so exciting to me, especially if it happened to me and T! "Keep 'em coming Sir, it's always 5 o'clock somewhere! mffghgdfggrsgggg" I would be falling on the floor laughing. I might tell her this in therapy sometime, since we are working on my attachment to her.....but maybe not.

PS. I would also like to go to a hockey game (ice hockey for those of you outside of North America) with her, but I understand we would have to separate after 60 minutes.

I get you with #2 - I am sooooo controlled usually......and think sometimes it would be exciting or something to just be able to completely let go and be uninhibited and be totally happy and crazy without worrying who's looking or what they're thinking.....but I'm afraid I would make such an *** of myself I'd never live it down and I'd want to hide for a few years!

Also.....just because of my tendencies to over-do things and because moderation is challenging for me, I'm afraid alcohol would easily turn into an addiction/compulsion.....so I really do try to stay away from it, too.

tree - a road trip sounds nice, too.....the windows down, the breeze rushing through, beautiful scenery and sunshine.....

Jan 16, 2011, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PreacherHeckler

Something playful. I would like to laugh with him and have fun, because I feel closest to him when something one of us says or does makes us both laugh at the same time. If I could have one hour with him to do anything I want, I would like to build a snowman together and have a snowball fight.

T and I have actually spent a session or two playing Uno (we keep a deck of Uno cards there just in case). It turned out to be very playful, and totally showed me parts of T that I had never seen before. It was right and good.

We've also colored together - either colored mandalas, or played a game where I draw a line and he draws a line and we take turns and see what kind of picture we end up drawing.

I wonder if some of our fantasies are more possible than we think? Playing seems possible. And I know T would hang out with me in his office and listen to the Grateful Dead if I really wanted to. No road trips though. Lol

granite1 · Jan 16, 2011, 07:25 PM

when i was in the first residential program i still didnt talk.i had a new T that came in one day with hot choc and choc pastry and said lets get out of here

.we went out and sat in this big field.after a while i started talking to her a lot.we would do that a lot and she would take me to the spa to hang out in the sauna and steam bath.she was ver differnt and i connected with her but after four months she quit and i was sent to another treatment program.i always wondered if it was because she got in trouble over taking me off the treatment grounds.they had really strict roules and she didnt always sdhear to them.she was the best T i ever had and the only one i was able to open up to.i still miss her now and that was years ago.i dont think i will ever find a T as awsome as her.so thare is something to be said for taking the T out of the office

Omers · Jan 16, 2011, 08:16 PM

@ Kacey2... 1. You started this

got the idea from your poll... 2. Oh how I would LOVE to be T's cat for an hour... She has told me how they curl up around her neck as she walks around her house or in the evening when she is reading with a cup of tea.

@ granite1 It is SO powerful when T's will step out of the box with us. It is one of the reasons why my massage T is so good with me. She can't get in trouble for doing things as long as they feel right to both of us.

I would like to do something spiritual with massage T... I'm sure it's possible but I would have to earn more of her trust. We live in an area with very traditional religious values and hers "don't fit in". I also like it when she tells me about herself as a child... But man am I happy I wasn't her mom!!! LOL

Some really neat thoughts coming out of this! I might have to make a "bucket list" out of this thread! 100 things to do with T before we end therapy... Better hurry though, don't now how long before she retires!