[jazzy123456]

time to go to therapy for the first time in about 6 weeks...
(keep in mind, she was my therapist all year of 2010...)
and now she seems to expect me to do a 180 and just stop all contact with her outside of sessions..sheesh..i've been doing that actually but, read along...

personally, i think my therapist is good in session but really bad about making the client feel safe once they leave the room

this has truly been a rollercoaster ride for me...

i am very nervous about it. thats why I post

theres so much to discuss and like other clients,
you already know in your head, when you have so much to say
you know you won't have time for it.

i'm going to say... "I feel very abandoned by you" for some reason.
during my transition out of my parents house and into my apartment style dorm, maybe that is the time to do more letting go then holding on but, I feel it may have happened to quick or abrubtly and its causing me to have issues trying to cope....or something?

i wanna talk about a previous issue....((girl::girl)) no comment.

i want to tell her i told my mom what happened to me when i was little.
my mom said in plain words...." you were violated" and although, i felt i waited my whole life to hear those words...they stung me...it made it too real or something.

i want to tell her that along with being on my own for the first time, i have to do some work in an elementary school this semester for credit and extra volunteer work...

and i want to tell her that someone in my family died on christmas and i haven't cried or talked about it since then.

so whats most important out of here?
i guess i could ask PC? but, at the end of the day...I should know right?
i doubt will get past the whole..."I feel abandoned by you" part...that may take up the whole hour unfortunatley...oh well, at least my life is changing enough to where I'm doing whatever it takes to move forward...and make diamonds from all these rough patches.

[sugahorse1]

2 thoughts - "i wanna talk about a previous issue....((girl::girl)) no comment." PM me if you want to talk about this; if I understand what you're getting at here, I really can discuss this honestly and openly.

I think it is very important that you bring up the whole abandonment issue with T. Being able to put this behind you, will make coping so much easier. I needed to bring it up with my T, and I eventually sent her a mail about it. It was consuming too much of my life and my thoughts. I was surprised how well she took it, and how we could reach a compromise. She doesn't want to hurt me, and will take steps to make me feel more comfortable, within the protocols of therapy.
Personally, I could not handle a T that is happy to just abandon me; I would find another one. I thought my T was abandoning me, and had to bring up the topic, to make her aware of my feelings, and let her make changes to help me.

[Sannah]

I'll bet that you put it in the correct order for yourself in this post?

[learning1]

Sometimes I have written down a fairly succinct list of topics I have in mind to talk about. (I have to make an effort to avoid writing too much detail about each topic.) Then I give the list to the t at the beginning of the session so she knows there are a lot of topics and I say that I know we don't have time to cover all of them. You have a lot of topics that seem really important. It makes me feel better if the t at least knows there are other topics on my mind. But I still have to pick something to start with, knowing it could take up the whole time. At least there's a chance the t will help you remember to talk about the other topics at some point, even if it's brief at first. Six weeks is a long time. Good luck.