[kitten16]

I've been lurking a lot, and I'm feeling guilty because I've been gone. (Why feel guilty? Because I'm a giant a-hole/basket case who needs more therapy than I'll ever be able to pay for in this lifetime...)

Anyway, I've had this weird thing with my therapist recently. I'm going to call him Curly for short -- it's what my husband calls him, and it's just convenient. So anyway, way back in the beginning, Curly used to be really hostile and strange. His mood didn't seem to have anything to do with me. When I would call him on his weird behavior, he always denied that it existed, or that I was doing anything wrong. Or he'd say he didn't recall it. Which didn't help. I felt he was questioning my perception of reality. Even if I would draw attention to the fact I felt something was wrong at the current session, he would back off immediately and claim everything was A-okay. The subtext was that I must be nuts, which I objected to. I mean, excuse me for living, but my therapist should NOT be making me feel like I'm nuts.

Anyway, I got some advice here that I should drop the MF altogether.

I considered doing that, but I kept on, and things have gotten better overall.

Except recently. So now, I'm getting a clear feeling that I'm suffering, or not suffering, according to who has been in Curly's office just before me.

This is SO unfair. The identity of Curly's previous client is obviously something I have ZERO control over. But last time, as I was walking down the corridor to Curly's office, the outer door was wide open. That never happens. Curly is a sort of control freak. He likes everything just so. Once I spilled some water from a cup on the rug in his office, and he spent, like, half the session scrubbing it up. Really worried about that. Weird!

Anyway, I immediately had the thought: Somebody stormed out! I think I had this thought because I also had stormed out of a session with Curly a few months previously. He has apparently never gotten over it. He brings it up every now and then -- sometimes because we're talking about our relationship, other times for no apparent reason. He likes to guilt me over it. He says he still has no idea why it happened.

And then when I got into the inner office, the place smelled like an ashtray full of McDonalds cheeseburgers. Some bizarre client with substandard body odor had apparently penetrated the inner sanctum just before me. Curly was apparently unhappy about it. I ALWAYS know when something's up with Curly, because one of his black wavy locks will be askew on his forehead. That's traditionally been my signal that I'm going to have a rough ride, at least until I can win him over (about half an hour into the session), and get him to pay some attention to me and what we're talking about.

Has anyone else ever felt that they were getting short-shrift attention-wise, because of the client that was in their therapist's office just previously?

[pachyderm]

and you are sticking with Curly why?

[WikidPissah]

um...yea, lets go back to "dump the mf"

Seriously, T is too much of a waste of time and money if you aren't getting anything out of it.

I would find another therapist.

[Amoslass]

I'd dump him and then write a black comedy based on your encounters with Curly. Man, he sounds like a movie! It might be a good way of dealing with the whole dreadful experience too.

"Encounters with Curly"....hmmm...I like that....
ok ok I'm tired and rambly, it's bad advice but I'm in a silly mood right now

[mixedup_emotions]

It's certainly easy to say to find a new therapist....but the real question is, what are you gaining from seeing this therapist? I'd be curious to know, because it sounds pretty terrible from your post that this guy is supposed to be a professional. Of course, there's always more than one side to a story - and not everything can be understood in a few posts.....

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by kitten16

I've been lurking a lot, and I'm feeling guilty because I've been gone. (Why feel guilty? Because I'm a giant a-hole/basket case who needs more therapy than I'll ever be able to pay for in this lifetime...)

Anyway, I've had this weird thing with my therapist recently. I'm going to call him Curly for short -- it's what my husband calls him, and it's just convenient. So anyway, way back in the beginning, Curly used to be really hostile and strange. His mood didn't seem to have anything to do with me. When I would call him on his weird behavior, he always denied that it existed, or that I was doing anything wrong. Or he'd say he didn't recall it. Which didn't help. I felt he was questioning my perception of reality. Even if I would draw attention to the fact I felt something was wrong at the current session, he would back off immediately and claim everything was A-okay. The subtext was that I must be nuts, which I objected to. I mean, excuse me for living, but my therapist should NOT be making me feel like I'm nuts.

Anyway, I got some advice here that I should drop the MF altogether.

I considered doing that, but I kept on, and things have gotten better overall.

Except recently. So now, I'm getting a clear feeling that I'm suffering, or not suffering, according to who has been in Curly's office just before me.

This is SO unfair. The identity of Curly's previous client is obviously something I have ZERO control over. But last time, as I was walking down the corridor to Curly's office, the outer door was wide open. That never happens. Curly is a sort of control freak. He likes everything just so. Once I spilled some water from a cup on the rug in his office, and he spent, like, half the session scrubbing it up. Really worried about that. Weird!

Anyway, I immediately had the thought: Somebody stormed out! I think I had this thought because I also had stormed out of a session with Curly a few months previously. He has apparently never gotten over it. He brings it up every now and then -- sometimes because we're talking about our relationship, other times for no apparent reason. He likes to guilt me over it. He says he still has no idea why it happened.

And then when I got into the inner office, the place smelled like an ashtray full of McDonalds cheeseburgers. Some bizarre client with substandard body odor had apparently penetrated the inner sanctum just before me. Curly was apparently unhappy about it. I ALWAYS know when something's up with Curly, because one of his black wavy locks will be askew on his forehead. That's traditionally been my signal that I'm going to have a rough ride, at least until I can win him over (about half an hour into the session), and get him to pay some attention to me and what we're talking about.

Has anyone else ever felt that they were getting short-shrift attention-wise, because of the client that was in their therapist's office just previously?

Sometimes it is hard on me when theres obviousl lingerings of those before my sessions. I have learned to be quite comical when addressing it. I walk in and say something like - wow I should have brought my autograph book so that the Qween of england (elizabeth) / king of pop (jackson or elvis) could sign it. how about we open the window and start fresh with me being here now?

my therapist usually laughs, opens the window and apologizes and says sometimes its hard for therapists to leave one client and go on to another client back to back. Now that Im a working therapist I know exactly what she means.

if the direct approach isnt working, try the comical approach and if you cant or that doesnt fit maybe suggest opening the window in a less comical way. fresh air has a way of bringing a new attitude and fresh start to things.