[learning1]

I posted about a "disappointing" session two sessions ago. The most recent one was a little better. I guess I was being a little pushier, interrupting my jabbermouth t and (a little abruptly) changing the topic from time to time, if he seemed headed in a direction that seemed less relevant. (In my last post, I said I wanted to initiate the topics we talk about more.) It's so easy to get sidetracked onto a side issue where he's not understanding me (I think) and by the time I explain that, we never get back to the main point, so I brought it back to where I thought we started a few times.

I still don't feel like he is hearing or understanding me really well. But I do feel like he's trying and he cares. I'm still trying to be open minded to his thoughts about what I should work on. It's hard to feel very confident in his ideas since I have to explain things I feel he misinterpreted pretty often, more than with some t's, but some of that must be inevitable. I dunno. I have felt he almost always respects my explanations. (Once in a while I probably never manage to explain clearly or he actually doesn't agree with me.)

He said 3 nice things; 2 of them felt really nice. He said sessions always go by quickly with me. That felt really nice, tho hard to believe, especially because it's still bothering me that one of my last t's asked me if people think I'm boring (maybe to get me to stop being a little negative toward my partner). The other really nice thing was at the end when I finally managed to say that I've wanted to initiate what we talk about more, he said he really appreciates me doing that and wants me to do it.

The kind-of-nice-thing was he twice said I looked nice. My immediate reaction was that was kind of weird coming from a t. But then I felt he's trying to be nice and it felt good. I hope he doesn't comment about that topic much, because I do sometimes feel angry about how women are expected to spend so much more effort on our appearance than men are expected to do. Outside the context of dating, I don't really want to be evaluated that way.

Guess I just wanted to process about this- sorry so long. Have to admit I'm still kind of thinking about whether to go back to an earlier t or not.

[jazzy123456]

do whats right for you. but, it seems your headed in the right direction.
don't settle though, for a T who is respectable and caring but, isn't TRULY helping you...
because, helping you is the whole point...idk, just thought i'd comment on that after reading how you have to explain things or repeat yourself or he "just doesn't get it"

i just wouldnt want you to settle for a T just because hes respectable and caring,
most T's are supposed to be that way or at least try...

just my two cents on it.
definitley could be wrong.

on the other hand, your post is very nice and encouraging!
and i'm happy you made progress from your previous post.

((hugs))

[lastyearisblank]

It sounds like this t likes you very much, I hope you get a more natural connection soon. Praise is so nice and I think it can be very much a part of healing. But it can also feel like bribery to me sometimes.... is that how it feels?

[Sannah]

Good work directing the conversation back to what you wanted! This is good meeting your needs stuff.

[learning1]

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

It sounds like this t likes you very much, I hope you get a more natural connection soon. Praise is so nice and I think it can be very much a part of healing. But it can also feel like bribery to me sometimes.... is that how it feels?

I don't know. I don't think he's totally dishonest or anything. I think he's a nice guy and I like him. But I am aware that he seems like he needs business, so I can't help wondering how that influences him. To be fair, I always wonder how the amount of business a t has might affect how they treat me. At least with this t, I can get good appointment times, which makes a big difference. I guess I just think as a social worker, maybe his training isn't as good as t's in fields where they get more training in doing therapy.

Unfortunately, I know social work is a field that insurance seems to more often pay for, so people feel they have to get that degree even if they think another field would prepare them for what they want to do better. That's another story.

[learning1]

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

do whats right for you. but, it seems your headed in the right direction.
don't settle though, for a T who is respectable and caring but, isn't TRULY helping you...
because, helping you is the whole point...idk, just thought i'd comment on that after reading how you have to explain things or repeat yourself or he "just doesn't get it"

i just wouldnt want you to settle for a T just because hes respectable and caring,
most T's are supposed to be that way or at least try...

just my two cents on it.
definitley could be wrong.

on the other hand, your post is very nice and encouraging!
and i'm happy you made progress from your previous post.

((hugs))

Thanks Jazzy. I just found my post from the previous session and you had made a reply I didn't see before, so thanks for that too. AND, I realized I've been posting about the same thing, whether to go back to the couples t, ever since I started posting on PC like 2 months ago. rrrg. So thanks for continuing to reply all this time

[Suratji]

Your "jabbermouth t"? How interesting. I thought T's were supposed to listen to us. My T lets me lead all the time. I always have quite a list of things I want to cover. I will ask for her guidance on some things but I believe the therapy works because I am allowed to speak and be heard and this method lets buried and/or forgotten emotions bubble to the surface. I can't imagine just listening to a T. Can someone explain to me how that would be helpful? I'm new to therapy so I don't know much about other techniques.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Continue to do what feels right for YOU, everything after that will fall into place.

[learning1]

Originally Posted by Suratji

Your "jabbermouth t"? How interesting. I thought T's were supposed to listen to us. My T lets me lead all the time. I always have quite a list of things I want to cover. I will ask for her guidance on some things but I believe the therapy works because I am allowed to speak and be heard and this method lets buried and/or forgotten emotions bubble to the surface. I can't imagine just listening to a T. Can someone explain to me how that would be helpful? I'm new to therapy so I don't know much about other techniques.

Thanks for your comments Suratji. I'm usually the opposite, I need the t to talk and get the conversation flowing since I tend to be shy. But once in a while I've found a t who talks a little too much for me, and this is one of them. Maybe better a little too much than not enough for me, but I'm not sure. I've never heard of any techniques where they intentionally talk a lot, I figured it was probably just their personality, but I don't know. I appreciate your support in that my t maybe shouldn't talk quite so much sometimes I think.

[learning1]

Irk, why have I been feeling guilty for writing the stuff I wrote on this post about my t not understanding me very quickly. Not like he's going to know I wrote it. But it's been bothering me just a little anyway. It's not something I could ever say to him.

Session today went still a little better I think. He talked less. I think that was good and I said more of the things on my mind than usual. And so he understood me better. And I understood him better, at least intellectually.

However, I wasted a lot of time talking about something going on at work that's not that relevant. I was very tired. Next time maybe I can be more prepared with more things to talk about.