[granite1]

my T said something abot how i was feeling toward her was called projections.i know about transferance because i read about it here but can anyone explaine in words i can understyand what thisa is i havnt heard about it .i dont think how i am feeling is transferance and have never heard this

[ECHOES]

This will be something new and exciting to learn about in your therapy then!

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by granite1

my T said something abot how i was feeling toward her was called projections.i know about transferance because i read about it here but can anyone explaine in words i can understyand what thisa is i havnt heard about it .i dont think how i am feeling is transferance and have never heard this

Like putting your emotions, thoughts, beliefs or characteristics on the other person ..... something you're not aware you're doing, something you're not aware of or want to ignore in yourself. Like I get the thought that my T is being distant and dismissive of me ..... when it's me who's really exhibiting that behavior and who has that emotional thinking going on. But instead of seeing it in myself, I thought I saw it in her ..... I put my stuff on her. It wasn't her stuff I was seeing, but mine reflected back at me. Make sense?

[granite1]

Originally Posted by poetgirl76

Like putting your emotions, thoughts, beliefs or characteristics on the other person ..... something you're not aware you're doing, something you're not aware of or want to ignore in yourself. Like I get the thought that my T is being distant and dismissive of me ..... when it's me who's really exhibiting that behavior and who has that emotional thinking going on. But instead of seeing it in myself, I thought I saw it in her ..... I put my stuff on her. It wasn't her stuff I was seeing, but mine reflected back at me. Make sense?

sounds like transferance to me

[lastyearisblank]

Projecting is a lot like transference. Sometimes when people say that, they mean that you are feeling the feelings that you put on the other person. Other times though it just means they don't feel how you think they feel.

Originally Posted by granite1

my T said something abot how i was feeling toward her was called projections.i know about transferance because i read about it here but can anyone explaine in words i can understyand what thisa is i havnt heard about it .i dont think how i am feeling is transferance and have never heard this

When trying to figure out what was going on with me, this is my therapist's interpretation:

Projection is a defense mechanism where ones unacceptable behavior or thoughts are attributed to someone else. Transference is where the client projects powerful attitudes and emotions onto the therapist.

As for the projection, this was in reference to me getting aggravated that I felt she was avoiding talking about the fact that I was having sexual thoughts about her.

Instead of me taking ownership of it and bringing it to her attention, I was angry with HER that she could not see it and address it. I was blaming HER for my thoughts. I was blaming HER that those thoughts were getting our of control. I was mad at HER for not stopping them.

In reality, SHE did not know this was happening. She cannot address something that she is not aware of. She had some suspicion, but told me that she will never pounce on me about something unless I give her the signal that I am ready to talk about it.

I guess projection is like being mad at someone else for the things you are really mad at yourself about.

[pegasus]

At the beginning of a conversation the person said to me angrily, "Before you have a go at me..."

Then at the end of the speech she shouted at me, "Everyone is soooo sensitive round here!"

Now, I was the only person in the room and I hadn't even opened my mouth. The person was projecting her own feelings on to me.

I hope this example helps.

[granite1]

no surprise here i am having a hard time accepting that this is whayt is going on.i mean i was really scared of her that just seemed real.i know that was how i was feeling.how she was talking,how she was acting,the way she lookedwhen i said this to her she said that was projection and she wasnt this mean angry person i think she was.i wonder does anyone ever thing T hide behind this transference ,projection stuff and just say this about anyfeelings a client has towards them

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

When trying to figure out what was going on with me, this is my therapist's interpretation:

Projection is a defense mechanism where ones unacceptable behavior or thoughts are attributed to someone else. Transference is where the client projects powerful attitudes and emotions onto the therapist.

As for the projection, this was in reference to me getting aggravated that I felt she was avoiding talking about the fact that I was having sexual thoughts about her.

Instead of me taking ownership of it and bringing it to her attention, I was angry with HER that she could not see it and address it. I was blaming HER for my thoughts. I was blaming HER that those thoughts were getting our of control. I was mad at HER for not stopping them.

In reality, SHE did not know this was happening. She cannot address something that she is not aware of. She had some suspicion, but told me that she will never pounce on me about something unless I give her the signal that I am ready to talk about it.

I guess projection is like being mad at someone else for the things you are really mad at yourself about.

This is the way I was thinking when I made my earlier post......I was talking about thinking my T had the problem and was the one being distant when it was me. It was my problem, my emotions but I was acting as if they belonged to her without realizing for a while it wasn't her, it was me. She didn't have those thoughts/emotions, I did.....and she didn't know I had them or thought she had them until I talked to her. Then I saw it wasn't her, it was me. Gosh, clear as mud and getting clearer the more I talk myself into a hole!
Transference to me is like feeling/reacting to my T as if I were feeling/reacting to someone she's representing in my mind, like my best friend, actually! Because they seem to share some of the same characteristic or personality traits, I react to that....
Seems like projection and transference are really intimately linked!

[ECHOES]

Transference is when you react to someone as if they were someone from your past. If you meet someone makes you think of a favorite uncle who liked puns, you might expect the someone you just met to like puns (or be mean, or be loving, etc.).

Projection is attributing to someone else your own things that you can't face conciously or unconsciously.
Once someone accused me of bragging about being good at something, when I had just mentioned that I did something. I didn't even know it was something she also wished to do, and her jealousy and envy were projected onto me and made me someone who was gloating and trying to make her feel bad. I was just conversing, no hidden agenda or ulterior motive.

[lastyearisblank]

It is so complicated because we all do use indirect communication. I guess what she was saying is, she wasn't trying to make you feel like that. It would be great if she could figure out why things played out the way they did.

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

It is so complicated because we all do use indirect communication. I guess what she was saying is, she wasn't trying to make you feel like that. It would be great if she could figure out why things played out the way they did.

yes, putting aside labeling it with whichever psychological term, your T just wasn't feeling the way you thought she was, granite, and didn't want to make you feel the way you did.....it would just be nice to work out why things happened as they did and what can be done to help them be different, and the communication clearer and more direct!