do you think????

do you think if you told you T that you feel absoluitly nothing about the horrable things that happened in the past that T would say then you dont need to be in therapy

No, I think a T would realize that you have distanced yourself from your feelings because they are too painful.

I have actually told my T that I felt "nothing" about certain things....

She told me "I think you do feel something, I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your vioce. I think you just don't know what you really feel, nor do you want to acknowledge those feelings."

I kinda think that telling a T you feel nothing about somthing that's happened would make them think you need therapy even more!

I agree with Rhiannon, I think that would make a T think you need therapy even more! Because underneath the surface of feeling nothing, there are very big deep feelings......

sometimes when i write things here or in my journal it just sometimes feels like i am writing a story or just talking about someone else.i dont think i ever want to feel the feelings that go along with all this yucky stuff and i get scared my T will send me packing because of this.but i do want to feel normal and happy with my life i want to feel happy about what i do have a loving supportive husband ,a home a wonderfull boy.friends who care.i have so much and i am just always scare and angry at life.i want this to go away

you deserve to be happy, to feel happy, to have peace and joy and enjoy your life without shadows from these big things falling over you......
I guess I am learning for myself that before I can be happy I have to go through the big, deep, scared, angry feelings way down in me.

You are at point A and want to get to point B. There is a route to getting there but it isn't the one you want to take (at this time).

very true sannah and i wonder if my will wate

Just realizing this is good. You have never talked about this before. It is like you have taken a step back to assess your situation. This is good.

granite, I see your question as positive too. I think your T realizes that there's a lot in your past you don't want to face and she knows you aren't ready. My T calls it the protectors, and we all have them. They keep us safe so we won't get overwhelmed. When we feel safe with our T, they "let" us feel more about whatever it is, and let us start to talk about it.

I used to always write in 2nd person about the child who didn't talk. It was never about me until I felt safe in therapy.

You're doing great, granite! Just take your time and know that your T cares about you. She's not getting rid of you. I assume you have a session tonight? I hope it goes well!

I totally agree with Sannah. My T has said that my missing feelings about some things may emerge when I feel safer about my situation.

nothing to say about my session she was really late comming down staairs to get me (that never happens)i am convinced she hates me and doest want to see me anyway and is probibly sorry she said she would see me again.i really did try tp talk more i know she wanted me to i guess again it wasnt enough.i didnt give her my letter or anything and i didnt want to even try to talk today i just knew she hated me and i didnt want to put energy into it today after all this.i'm kind of angry at her i dont want her to take me back if she doesnt really want to.can they say no if i quit and ask to come backsorry it is the same old story.

((((((granite))))))

It's not the same old thing. You're not the same since you checked out some different Ts. You have options. You've made progress since you went back to your T. It's not all going to be uphill. You know the saying: 2 steps forward, 1 step backwards, or maybe it's 1 step forward, whatever! You get the idea.

Do NOT give up on yourself. My T says we have protectors for good reasons, like I posted before. Is it possible you're just scared at the prospect of talking about your past?

You know your T doesn't hate you! Her being late had nothing to do with you. I hope you can realize that. Don't be hard on yourself. It's hard to make changes and it takes time. Okay?

No, not the same old story...remember, granite, that T has told you several times she cares. Hold on to that, even when something like this makes you think she doesn't and you feel rejected. She does care! It wasn't anything personal toward you, I think....

Hi there Granite.
Just a quick example-i brought up in T that I thought a rupture in my relationship with my mom as a young child had caused the void and emptiness I feel. I kinda said to her I'd like to work on these feelings and maybe the relationship.
After that first discussion, I met my mom for lunch, and as much as I tried, I couldn't feel a connection (please let's not go into detail, cos I don't know how I feel about it).
In my next session I told T what had happened and that I had realised there just wasn't going to be a relationship there. That I realised I needed to accept it.
This stark change between yearning for a relationship, and then saying I was ok with how things were mapping out, have left my T pondering even more about me, and what's underlying.

You can not kid your T; if you are a good match, she'll see straight thro you.

Yes if it's a good therapist she'll understand. It's ok to feel that way.

Whoa! These are all assumptions granite on why your T came down late. There could be many other reasons why she came down late. It would have been good if you could have asked her. If you could have said "You came down late and I think it is because you don't want to work with me".

i have calmed down a lot through out the day and am seeing things a bit differntly now.i still think she had some reason that had to do with me about comming to get me late.i know the secitary called and she knew i was thare and didnt have a client running late i dont know what it was about and it doesnt usually happen.maybe she just wasnt having a good day and wasnt looking foward to dealing with me.(UNDERSTANDABLE)

but i screwed up.this was my chance.the last few weeks she has set the agenda and had controled the sessions that time i wanted to do art and she brought up the e-mails and stuff happened.yesterday she said hi and sat thare no questions or anything .she didnt even ask how am i doing .nothing.it was a blank slate i could have done anything i wanted and i was so upset about her being late that i didnt even see it .i didnt even see that maybe this was her plan to give me a chance to do what i want or say what i want.all i had to say was can i draw.if she does this next week .i suspect she will.i am going to try really hard to just ask this.like i had planned weeks ago before i had my little melt down.stupid me i didnt even see my chanceoh well hopefully next week.if she isnt late

Dear Granite, stop beating on yourself!!

and next week if T is late, maybe you can say, hey how come you were late? you never have been except for last week, what's up with that? she will answer you and put your mind at rest. please go gently...

um, no. i dont think any therapist worth their salt would believe that.

now, you may not be ready to deal with it at the moment and thats an individual/personal thing.

the thing about feelings is that they are all-or-nothing. you cant numb the "bad" ones and enjoy the "good" ones....you either allow yourself to feel it all or you continue to numb and just feel nothing.

Hindsight is still sight granite!

I am a slow processor so I have a lot of hindsight. I accept the way I am. What else can I do?