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  #1  
Old Mar 23, 2011, 10:24 PM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Posts: 7,326
Sorry I haven't been around and haven't been supportive of others lately. I'm thinking of you all though and give many BIG BIG HUGS to everyone with what you're going through...

Just been going through a really rough time lately and have been withdrawing....

Last week, I had a rough group T session where I became angry with one member because I felt minimized by him...and he cut me off and then snapped at me. The conversation was cut short because he wasn't up to addressing it...

Then, my migraine subsided - after a whole month of it - to be welcomed with unexplained anxiety....

Then, my migraine returned - full force - on Monday morning...and I just can't take it. I can't do this again. I am feeling hopeless and am having such crazy thoughts....and I'm scared to tell T about these thoughts and feelings.....

Then, I went to group T yesterday - with the migraine and the rollercoaster of emotions - and the member that I was having issues with was trying to get his needs met....and I became SO enraged at just hearing his voice. And then when T spoke to him, I became even more enraged....and I was just boiling over with anger and disgust....but I was in such misery that I just wasn't up to addressing it.

So, I walked out.

That's the first time I've EVER walked out of group. A couple other members had to leave early, and I just walked right out with them saying something along the lines of "I've had enough"....

I am all over the place right now....I see T tomorrow and I don't want to go. I don't feel like talking. I don't want to share my feelings. I just don't want to be.

Blech.
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...

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  #2  
Old Mar 23, 2011, 10:27 PM
Anonymous29412
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(((((((((MUE))))))))))

That all sounds so painful, and triggering, and hard. I'm sooo sorry about your migraine...I know being in pain makes everything else that much more difficult.

Be honest with T tomorrow about how you are feeling so he can help you. You don't have to go through it alone.

Sending tons of hugs

Thanks for this!
mixedup_emotions
  #3  
Old Mar 23, 2011, 10:32 PM
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lastyearisblank lastyearisblank is offline
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Quote:
I just don't want to be.
Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad mue. You have a place here to spill it
Thanks for this!
mixedup_emotions
  #4  
Old Mar 23, 2011, 10:33 PM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Location: NJ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse View Post
(((((((((MUE))))))))))

That all sounds so painful, and triggering, and hard. I'm sooo sorry about your migraine...I know being in pain makes everything else that much more difficult.

Be honest with T tomorrow about how you are feeling so he can help you. You don't have to go through it alone.

Sending tons of hugs

Thanks, Tree....

I needed the hugs....

I am scared to tell T the depth of my scary feelings....because I just keep remembering when T threatened to terminate...and when we addressed it afterwards, he said it was because he was angry at me for what he felt was me giving up.

So, I don't want to tell him....because I don't want him walking away from me.
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
  #5  
Old Mar 23, 2011, 10:42 PM
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Sweetlove Sweetlove is offline
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((((((MUE)))))

So sorry you are having a hard time...I hope you have a good session with T tomorrow and you find some relief in that.

Take care of yourself
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"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
- Maya Angelou

"If you get a chance, take it; if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
Thanks for this!
mixedup_emotions
  #6  
Old Mar 24, 2011, 01:33 AM
Anonymous32438
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Sending you so much love. I'm sorry things are so difficult at the moment. Do keep posting here- we all care about you and want to support you

I hope you're able to tell T, and T is able to help
Thanks for this!
mixedup_emotions
  #7  
Old Mar 24, 2011, 06:13 AM
Anonymous29412
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions View Post
I am scared to tell T the depth of my scary feelings....because I just keep remembering when T threatened to terminate...and when we addressed it afterwards, he said it was because he was angry at me for what he felt was me giving up.

So, I don't want to tell him....because I don't want him walking away from me.
((((((((MUE)))))))))

What if you start by telling him this? Maybe it will open a path to a safer place to tell....and maybe it will remind T to be less reactive, and to just listen.

Thinking of you today.

Thanks for this!
mixedup_emotions
  #8  
Old Mar 24, 2011, 11:27 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
THat guy in group must really trigger you? Your session is in a little bit.........
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #9  
Old Mar 24, 2011, 11:42 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Location: NJ
Posts: 7,326
My emotions change from one minute to the next....*sigh*

Right now, I just want to vomit. Tree, I know you know what I mean....

I just don't want to talk right now. I don't want to see T. But my session is in just over an hour...UGH.

Sannah - It's the same guy that called me a "drama queen" in the past. We worked hard to get past that and I was pleased with how our relationship evolved. But lately, I don't know....
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
Thanks for this!
Suratji
  #10  
Old Mar 24, 2011, 11:46 AM
Anonymous29412
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(((((((((((MUE)))))))))))))))

  #11  
Old Mar 24, 2011, 01:52 PM
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SpiritRunner SpiritRunner is offline
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(((((((((((((mue))))))))))))) I am so sorry things have been so tough and I so hope T will be helpful to you and supportive and compassionate.......I know we will be here for you, too, to support you with compassion!
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