[lastyearisblank]

Yay for both, money and leisure time. They are the ingredients of therapy. I don't have a lot of either right now... but somehow, I still managed to end up with four shrink appointments for this week! Ahhh!

I just saw this first guy today. He was a psychoanalyst. It was nice to talk with him. It does not look like he has any skills to teach. His idea was that therapy should be the patient's "full time job."

I am feeling sort of nauseous and wondering if I can get through three more of these (very expensive) intake thingies. I'll post more updates!

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

It does not look like he has any skills to teach. His idea was that therapy should be the patient's "full time job."

hmmmm

[lastyearisblank]

I KNOW! I literally want to go take a shower after hearing that.

[Perna]

I would expect that from a psychoanalyst (and would be the sort of therapist I would be looking for/agree with). Did you research types of therapy/therapists and find ones you thought might work for your issues? I'm surprised it is expensive; usually intake/first interviews are free with most therapists?

[lastyearisblank]

You're kidding me
?
Thank you for letting me know that.

[Elli-Beth]

I have a traditional psychoanalyst and he has also mentioned (half-jokingly) that he wishes more people would choose therapy over work...

[lastyearisblank]

I am worried that might be counterproductive! Thanks for sharing guys.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Elli-Beth

I have a traditional psychoanalyst and he has also mentioned (half-jokingly) that he wishes more people would choose therapy over work...

If they did, how could they pay him?

[Elli-Beth]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

If they did, how could they pay him?

Hmmm... They could pay in hugs? No, my T doesn't hug... I know- they could barter! One 45 min session in exchange for 45 min of office cleaning. Goodness knows my T has enough dust bunnies under his sofa that he could use some sorta help!

[Sweetlove]

Good luck Lyib...kinda sounds like fun actually..lol. I wish it wasn't costing you so much, but maybe you will find a fantastic T and it will be well worth it!

Can't wait to hear about the rest!

[Perna]

When I realized that T was about as expensive as college, I chose T instead. $200 a week times 40 weeks a year (my T was away a lot and holidays, my vacations, snow, etc.) is "only" $8,000 a year; one could almost get cash advances for that every week/month for a couple years on a credit card? LOL. I had been working part-time but went back to work full-time to pay for T (and get a retirement account, health insurance for me and my consultant husband, etc.).

[lastyearisblank]

Aw thanks sweetlove

Welcome to session report two of shrinkfest 2011.

*(By the way if anyone is wondering the reason this is happening with so many sessions is, I'm moving here in 1 month and can not imagine looking for a shrink at the same time while shopping for an apartment... one look and they would commit me on the spot).

Ok so shrink #2 was pretty reputable, I might just cancel the other two appts and stop here. After all there are people in japan with no water. BUT

The only thing is.... I don't know how to say this in a nice way so I will just say it, his personality is the kind... I just don't like. I know that is unfair, but you know he is just the kind of person who is saving up for a country house. He demanded (not asked) my primary physician's number so he could call him saying he is treating me, and please send him other customers. This was in the first two minutes of the appointment. I am not trying to be judgmental here, a shrink has got to earn a living, but I just don't want my well being to be in the hands of someone who buys really heavily into that stuff. There is so much more to well being than money and meds (which he pushed, heavily).

Also I'm upset that he said, "WHEN you get sick again," not if you get sick again. I'll admit maybe I'm sulking over that.

So! That's all for now! Thanks for reading

[sunrise]

If you got a bad vibe from #2 and didn't like his personality, no need to go back. Those things can be important. Or if uncertain, go see him one more time. Are you looking for a pdoc or a therapist? (Some people use the word shrink just for psychiatrists.) If you are looking for a pdoc, then you may only go see him once every few months, so it might not be as essential to find a really great fit like it is for a therapist. The way shrink #2 asked immediately to contact your medical doctor sounds more like something a pdoc would do, rather than a therapist. If I went to see a therapist and he immediately wanted to contact my medical doctor, I would find it offputting. I think it is more common for a pdoc to want to confer with the GP, but even this doesn't happen all the time. I don't really like my medical professionals talking to each other unless there is good reason (and they explain it to me), so this might put me off #2.

Hope you find someone you like, lastyearisblank.

[lastyearisblank]

Thanks sunrise it was a psychologist (with an office in a hospital, sorry if that was confusing). Some people are just amazing networkers. (maybe it's a gift from birth, like dimples!)

Anyhoo... yeah I don't know if I want to keep going with this. It is just raising so many questions for me about if everything comes down to money.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

Ok so shrink #2 was pretty reputable, I might just cancel the other two appts and stop here...

The only thing is.... his personality is the kind... I just don't like... He demanded (not asked) my primary physician's number so he could call him saying he is treating me, and please send him other customers...

Also I'm upset that he said, "WHEN you get sick again," not if you get sick again. I'll admit maybe I'm sulking over that.

So you think #2 is reputable, eh?

[Sweetlove]

Hmmmmm I'm thinking you should cross #2 off the list and move on. Doesn't sound like a great match. Hope you can keep the other interviews!

[lastyearisblank]

#3 does not accept payment in hugs, either! But she was really sweet! I'm so relieved. We kind of talked about general stuff, but she seemed VERY intuitive... it was kind of nice. She is young. We talked about relationships. She said "oh that must be so hard oh gosh" like a million times! So yeah, she was super super nice. I hope it works out to start therapy with her. So shrinkfest is officially OVER!!! Thanks for the feedback all

[lastyearisblank]

Btw I am keeping shrink #4 on the waiting list... I'll write about that late tonight when I get home, but it was a scary appointment. I liked his style but it was challenging to say the least. It included light cursing (on his side not mine), confrontation, diagnosing me with a personality disorder, and saying, IF YOU DO NOT GET TREATMENT YOU WILL PROBABLY GET WORSE AND DIE (again on his side).

I'm going to take another shower and try to wash all this psychologizing away now.

[Chronic]

Wow, this sounds like a intense few days! I'm glad you found a T that you like though- hope it works out with her

[Liam Grey]

Hope you'll find the one that fits you!

[lastyearisblank]

Thanks guys for all your support It's been interesting for sure. I now have four shrinks in four area codes!.. and four diagnoses as well. Quite the choose your own adventure story.

[lastyearisblank]

I hesitated whether to post more about the last session with the fourth T here as we touched on some SO personal things. But this was supposed to be a thread about shopping for shrinks. So in for a penny, in for a pound!

Ok. So, shrink #4 diagnosed me with bpd (borderline personality disorder). After discussion we dialled it back down to "a little bit bpd," as in the traits. I feel like I've heard other people here say they've heard this before in therapy, but it was news to me.

Confrontational... is the word for how it went. "If you think of yourself as a victim, given what you've described of your relationships and work history, than you have personality issues," is what he literally said. I was rather upset hearing this, to be perfectly honest. I asked if bpd was a derogatory diagnosis for T. The T responded that it was insulting to have his diagnosis put in question. We discussed whether he was angry or not. (This was ten minutes into the interview). He said that he was not angry but he felt my attitude was consistent with someone who has bpd.

The good thing is I felt that I did not have to hold anything back. Honestly, the question when shopping for a shrink is "can you help me?" I feel like this person can.

On the other hand... this is NOT a diagnosis to be taken lightly. If I go back (which I am thinking about doing) we will keep discussing it. I am extremely aware how rigged this entire conversation was and still very shaken. If a man in a doctor's chair wants to make a younger woman with mental health problems act "borderline," they probably know how to do it...

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

On the other hand... this is NOT a diagnosis to be taken lightly. If I go back (which I am thinking about doing) we will keep discussing it. I am extremely aware how rigged this entire conversation was and still very shaken. If a man in a doctor's chair wants to make a younger woman with mental health problems act "borderline," they probably know how to do it...

Hmmm - If you felt he was confrontational in your very first meeting, do you think that feeling would get worse or better in future sessions?

I know for me, I absolutely could not handle a T being a confrontational male. But, that's why I chose a female T to start with.

Again, personally, I'm not a fan of a T stating a diagnosis, especially on the first meeting! I love that my T has never stated that I am "xxxx". It makes me feel more like a person and less like a label. She may have decided on a diagnosis in her own mind, but she's never said it to me and I've never asked. As long as I'm not needing meds and not claiming therapy on insurance, I'll happily go along with no diagnosis.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

Ok. So, shrink #4 diagnosed me with bpd (borderline personality disorder).

As Rhiannon said -- on the first interview?

I asked if bpd was a derogatory diagnosis for T. The T responded that it was insulting to have his diagnosis put in question.

The T is "insulted" by the patient questioning his authority? Taking it rather personally, isn't he?

Well, these are some of my first thoughts. You may feel he can help you, which is what counts.

[lastyearisblank]

[quote=BlessedRhiannon;1773250]Hmmm - If you felt he was confrontational in your very first meeting, do you think that feeling would get worse or better in future sessions?]

I don't know this! Hope not! (that it is not worse)

I know for me, I absolutely could not handle a T being a confrontational male. But, that's why I chose a female T to start with.

Again, personally, I'm not a fan of a T stating a diagnosis, especially on the first meeting! I love that my T has never stated that I am "xxxx". It makes me feel more like a person and less like a label. She may have decided on a diagnosis in her own mind, but she's never said it to me and I've never asked. As long as I'm not needing meds and not claiming therapy on insurance, I'll happily go along with no diagnosis.

Good for you for figuring out what you want, we should do that early and often!

Originally Posted by pachyderm

As
The T is "insulted" by the patient questioning his authority?

Yeah, this is the one thing. All the rest is manageble.