[onlymedid]

T brought up today that one day I won't need her!!!
It got me angry a bit for some reason. I can't imagine not needing her. She said that I have been seeing her for 3 years and have made such great strides that one day there will be no need for her support!
I was like, "WHAT?" in my head, of course.
Now I can't stop thinking about it. I can't imagine NOT seeing her. She is so helpful and I DO need her. She is like a lifeline for me.
I feel like she is telling me that next week will be our last or something, even though that isn't what she meant or said.
Has anyone ever stopped seeing T because they don't need it anymore?

[SpiritRunner]

Once my T told me I wouldn't always need her.....I didn't quite believe it then.
I still need her.....yet I have come to believe that one day I won't need her. Just like the day came when I left my parents' nest so to speak, I will leave T's nest......she will be there to call if I need and go back if I need, but anyway I do believe one day I will not need her as I feel I do now. It's just that I DO need her right now, and it's OK to need her now, to let myself believe it's OK to have the need, have it met now, and still know that the day will come when the need is not what it is now.

Originally Posted by onlymedid

Has anyone ever stopped seeing T because they don't need it anymore?

I'm taking a break from T right now, because I don't need him in the same way I used to.

I've always seen him twice a week (for over 3 years) because it was too hard for me to hang on to the connection/safety between sessions. There were many, many, many times it was a huge struggle to make it the few days between appointments. I'm allowed to send as many voice mails/e-mails as I need to (he'll respond if I ask, but I usually don't ask), and I probably had contact almost every day that way. I could not IMAGINE not needing T in the same way..it seemed completely impossible.

But, here I am. I think I've finally internalized T, and the lessons I've learned with him, enough that he is "with" me even when we're not physically together. There is way more of him inside of me than I even knew, and I feel connected even though we're not together.

I don't think I'm ready to give up therapy altogether...but just the fact that I can take a break and feel connected and secure is huge, and something I never expected to be able to do. It helps that I know I'll go back when I'm ready, so maybe this is "practice" for when we really do end therapy.

So! That is a long way of saying "yes, it's possible". If I can get to this point, anyone can.

[Perna]

It's true; one day you will probably be a bit annoyed you have a T appointment because you want to do something else and are feeling a bit tied to attending each week.

Think of it this way; when you are at work on a Tuesday (if your T day is not Tuesday), you don't need T do you? You just sort of do your thing as always. Yes, T might be in the back of your mind, you're recording things to tell her, etc. but when you are not with T you aren't quite so obsessed every second with her as you are when you are there or working on your stuff as you are going to sleep or right after session, etc.

Or, think of all the time you spend in your head thinking about therapy and T; as you move through time and real life happens, that space will get less and less because you will be more connected to your real life. Remember when you had a friend in elementary school and swore you'd be best friends forever? You aren't now are you? It's kind of like that. Think of other obsessions you have had, with things or something you really really wanted. Life keeps going on, change happens. Do you still ride your bicycle? Your first boyfriend, is he still around?

[anilam]

I wish that someday I wouldn't need him.
Hope the day will come. I think that is the point, isn't it? To not need T. To be OK.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by onlymedid

Has anyone ever stopped seeing T because they don't need it anymore?

I stopped seeing my first T (after about 9 months) because what she provided to me wasn't helping me anymore--I didn't need what she could offer. My daughter and I stopped seeing our family therapist after about a year because we felt we didn't need his help anymore, that we were now good enough to handle the problems on our own.

I have seen my current therapist for 4 years and don't want to stop seeing him. Our appointments are often a month apart now, but things still come up for me that I want his help with. I would actually like to keep this arrangement indefinitely. It is really helpful to have him in my life.

[Suratji]

Right now I feel I need T and I told her so and told her I was quite upset that I've become needy and dependent on her.

But I do have a strong belief that once my issues are resolved that I won't need her anymore. It's like maybe wearing a cast because your arm is broken - once the arm is healed, a cast is no longer necessary.

[venusss]

Why does the possibility of being a strong person scare you?

Ts are like teachers. I loved my teacher in elementary school, but honestly... I don't miss her. Needed her back than, when I could not read and write. Same goes for other "mentors" I met in life.

[skysblue]

I think we might kinda be like the baby taking his first steps. If we told him that someday he'd be running and jumping without our help, he probably couldn't believe it. Right now, he needs us to help him balance and to catch him when he falls.

That what the T is to us now but someday we'll be running and jumping.

[TheDragon]

Isn't the point of therapy to one day stand on your own?

[rainbow8]

I've had 1 T I quit without needing to see another one. I don't know how I did that! I still go from T to T and can't imagine not needing a T. Even though I have so much in my life (or maybe NOT) I can't imagine not needing my T or SOME T. I can so without one for awhile, then something makes that wanting feel too bad again. My goal is not to want to stay in therapy forever, but it doesn't seem attainable right now. Sorry to be so negative but that's the way I feel.

[dizgirl2011]

Originally Posted by onlymedid

T brought up today that one day I won't need her!!!
It got me angry a bit for some reason. I can't imagine not needing her. She said that I have been seeing her for 3 years and have made such great strides that one day there will be no need for her support!
I was like, "WHAT?" in my head, of course.
Now I can't stop thinking about it. I can't imagine NOT seeing her. She is so helpful and I DO need her. She is like a lifeline for me.
I feel like she is telling me that next week will be our last or something, even though that isn't what she meant or said.
Has anyone ever stopped seeing T because they don't need it anymore?

Hey hun, I think it's very understandable why you feel what seems to be shocked and concerned since your session. It sounds like the ending or the possibility of it hasnt been talked about too much in your therapy and when she brought up the idea of not needing her, it brought up concerns for you that she is thinking about the ending when really you don't even want to go there (which I totally understand, im having a battle myself at the moment with the thought of ending with my own T.) It doesn't however sound like she is going to push you out the door before you feel more capable, so at least she is willing to wait until you feel you dont need her as much! I can only dream my therapist would say that.

I have never got to the point of not needing a T anymore because my therapy has never lasted long enough for that to even be a possibility at all. In the UK having Therapy, even for 3 years is basically unheard of...you're lucky if you can even keep someone for a year!! It really sucks!

Try not to worry

[Chronic]

What I read from this is that she is saying that one day,not right now but one day, you wont need her. I dont think she is abandoning you at all. But the aim of therapy is to one day be able to cope with life on your own with your own support network and not need T. It is scary for me to say that but that is the truth. I never went into therapy thinking this relationship would last forever, however the longer is lasts the harder it is for me to conceive my life without T. So I totally relate to how you are feeling. Could you tell her next time you see her how her comment made you feel ?