[skysblue]

There's so much to tell but I don't know what to choose. How do you figure out what is the most important?

When I first started therapy, I felt kind of panicky, because it seemed like there was not going to be enough time to get everything out, and it did make it hard to sort things out in my head...what mattered the most, what was most important, what would help me heal, etc.

I think I found that over time, if I just trusted myself, the things would come up that were the most important and that needed to be talked about the most. The stuff I THOUGHT was most important when I first walked in T's door turned out to not really be the biggest issues I needed to work on. As I worked with T, and built trust, other things bubbled to the surface, and we talked about those instead.

For me, sometimes the most important thing that day was an issue between me and T...that I didn't feel safe, or I was afraid he didn't want to hear my story or whatever. Sometimes it was something that had happened between me and H that, once I talked to T about it, pointed to an issue in my past that I needed to start to work through. Sometimes it was a story from my childhood.

I learned to just go to T and to let whatever was pushing at me come out, even if it seemed silly, or unimportant, or unrelated to why I thought I was in therapy. It was kind of amazing to see how the journey unfolded, and where it's brought us.

Trust yourself. My T sometimes would tell me to "pay attention", and I learned to pay attention to what was happening in myself in the moment, and trust that that was what was "most important" right then.

Sometimes therapy is a slow, slow process, but I think that's how we heal...slowly and gently and unexpectedly.

[anilam]

I don't know what to add to treehouse.
I just talk about the things that are running through my head. Yeah and it IS slow. Much slower than I like.

[Perna]

I think good T's follow the feeling; if you get animated about something, they go with that; if you don't mention something, have an elephant in the room and are ignoring it, they try to tease that out, etc.

I liked having a lot to talk about because if I got "stuck" I could just put down whatever it was that was frustrating me and pick up some other piece and start chewing on that instead It's all connected! If you make progress on one thing, the next time you switch you'll realize you've made progress on the other.

[Suratji]

My concern has always been that I'll waste time and money if I don't focus on something key and important. It's all so very confusing. I like to go in with a plan.

I usually start with my notes right after my session. I think I know what to talk about in the next session. But then I keep adding stuff and the new stuff seems more important than the old stuff.

So, I end up talking to T about what the latest thoughts/events/feelings are because they're at the top of my mind but I'm unclear if that's the best and most efficient way to process stuff.

Aaagggghhh - "Just relax, Suratji, why don't you?" I think I'd relax more if it weren't so expensive.

[Sweetlove]

I've been with my current T for over a year and I still haven't told everything. It comes out in little doses when it is relevent and appropriate. If it is something I feel I need to talk about to just get it out, I'll say "ok I have to tell you something".

Sometimes it is soooooooo hard and I'll wait until the very end of the session and say "I need to tell you something but I'm avoiding it, so next time I need you to help me." I just did that 2 weeks ago and every time he brought it up for the next 3 sessions I brushed over it until today and I finally told.

Just talk about what you think needs to be talked about now, it will all come out when the time is right.

[rainbow8]

I have always had "too much" to tell also. I've had to accept that it all doesn't have to get told because what is important has a way of coming up regardless of what topic I choose. Sometimes issues are related when they don't seem to be. My first T, years ago, once said "it's all the same ball of wax", meaning whatever came up could be tied in with another issue. The details don't always matter, but if they do, then tell them! Go with your gut feeling about what is important to say. I agree that therapy is very slow. Too slow, but that's the way it is.

[Suratji]

I have session today and there is so much I want to talk about. But there's no time, of course. So, I've gone from thinking that I would go in and T would have to tell me what is important to - voila - I think I know now.

As I reviewed in my mind the myriad of events/thoughts/feelings that I've experienced since last session 12 days ago, I noticed one topic created a physical feeling in my body. Ah ha! - an emotional hot spot!

So, although initially that topic wasn't even in my Top 10, I think I'll ask T if I should go with it.