Is it okay to thank your therapist?

I have an odd question. I always tell my therapist what he's doing wrong. And yesterday we finally had a good session, where he listened to me and didn't argue and therefore making me feel a loss of value to the feeling.

Usually when I say stuff like "I've done so much and I cannot dig myself out of this hole". He'll say something like "What hole? There is no hole! Look how far you've come! Look where you were, look where you are!" And it completely goes right over his head how I'm feeling. Helpless and hopeless. A very profound feeling of those.

I've been speaking a lot telling him that I don't appreciate it. Letting him know that he doesn't hold personal responsibility for my recovery, so it's not like "offending" him when I say I don't feel any better. And it's seemed to work, because he was really good at hearing my voice today. He didn't argue with me. He just listened and acknowledged.

Would it be weird to shoot him a thank you email? I won't really see him till next week and by then my head will be out of it. It would more or less be like saying "Okay this IS how I will learn to trust you, not the other stuff you were doing". Or is that like me trying to take care of him? Because I want his self esteem raised? I really just want to let him know that I appreciate the new outlook. But will he just assume that when I don't complain? Or do you think I should make it more obvious that I appreciate it?

I know I'm probably reading too much into this.

LydiaB, I think telling him how heard and understood you felt in the last session would be a wonderful way to begin your next session! I hope you will tell him in person so you don't miss the opportunity that is in this for you.

I tell my therapist a lot of what I don't like, what isn't happening that I want to happen (in therapy) and what effect her words have. For example when she says 'everyone feels that way at times or in that situation' I just hate it. She still says it and I still hate it and now we laugh about it. In fact, she has prefaced it with "Now, I know you aren't going to like hearing this, but..." and we laugh and she goes ahead and says it.

I also have told her things like "I like that you pulled your chair closer last session. It really felt good to me, and felt comforting and really connecting. It helped me talk more". And, because I said in the beginning that I didn't want or expect self-disclosure from her, and wouldn't and didn't ask personal questions, she disclosed anyway at times. I didn't like it but never said anything. I've worked through my feelings about that and recently when she shared something, I realized that I liked it and it was helpful and I was able to tell her right then that I appreciated her doing that and how it was helpful.

thanking your T for the good, helpful things they have done is good! it's positive feedback for them so they know what worked, what to keep doing.....

i think your T would love to be thanked.T's are people alsogo for it .

You know my T does this to me too makes me feel like my feelings are invalidated, but I've always assumed that was part of therapy and was a method of therapy to try to help me get well again.

You know?

seems like a good question, not an odd question.
for starters, if you feel thankful, the authentic thing to do would be to say thanks.
also you are not responsible for his assumptions, if he has them.
lastly, Ts are people too, wherever they may be on the "blank slate" spectrum. It's perfectly naturual to want to hear a thank-you now and then, would you say?

I thank her constantly......just how I was brought up

I send a thank you e-mail frequently, because I am thankful he has heard me and listened and made my week a little better than if I had not seen him. I don't expect a reply and have told him that. Sometimes he does which is just a little bonus for me but I don't do it for that. I do it because I really feel thankful he was there for me.

I have sent my T several thank you emails, and there have been several sessions when I've sincerely thanked her as I was leaving as well. She seems to appreciate it.

I tell my T thank you all the time.. it was houw I was brought up too. Everyone likes to be appreciated. I bet your therapist would appreciate it too.

Is it okay to thank your therapist?

Yes, but it would be better to take this to session and explain to him your feedback and what you find helpful. You never know what this will bring up for you.

I think giving good feedback- both positive and negative, helps our T's of course, and ultimately helps. US even more. We get the practice of learning how to share what works for us, stating what we like, what we don't and have the experience of people changing their behaviour. It's fine to say thank you when it's warranted, it adds to the relationship. Doing this in session is probably best for the relational aspect. I don't think an email would be wrong, but you may not get all the benefits of an in session conversation and thank you.

I wonder if an email and in person thank you would be good. It sounded like you were saying by the time you go back next week, your mind will be on other things, if I understood your post. I would want to email right away, when I felt it, but also try to say it in session.

I started saying thank you to a t, kind of spontaneously I guess, but it felt like something new to thank someone (other than just routine politeness). Now I say it a lot. I guess I used to think people wouldn't want me to thank them, partly because they wouldn't want me to show the weakness of having needed help, or their weakness of possibly needing to be appreciated. Now all that usually just feels like a normal, positive thing to do.