 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Apr 26, 2011, 03:46 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
i'm supposed to go to t today and look at him. i don't like trying to look at him. he looks weird. not at all how i imagine him.
__________________
He said that we can email as MUCH as we want (100 times per day). Believe in this - it is challenging fears about being punished. It is okay to be seen. You are not a nuisance. "Too much" simply means exploration, not punishment/withdrawal. Trust in him.  Not looking at him is about keeping aspects of self hidden/secret. We know that is not the healthy choice. Keep working on this - you will get there.  Accept there are parts. Be kind and gentle with them. Working with parts and feelings is the key to happiness. We have been happy before when listened to them and accepted them and were open to feelings. Write in your journal - it is safe to do so. 
|
|
#2
Apr 26, 2011, 04:02 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
can you try to imagine him looking like someone else?
__________________
 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
|
 dinosaurs
|
|
#3
Apr 26, 2011, 04:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
He will appreciate this, your willingness to see the reality of who he is.
How do you imagine him? Are some of the things you imagine qualities that make him who he is, that will still be there even if he looks 'different' to you? If you've gone already, how did it go? 
|
| dinosaurs
|
|
#4
Apr 26, 2011, 04:11 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((Dinosaurs))))
Why are you 'supposed' to look at him? Is this something you and he have discussed? |
| dinosaurs
|
|
#5
Apr 26, 2011, 05:00 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
i'm supposed to look at him because i never do and even though i talk to him, i keep myself hidden from him by not looking. Also, this is a way to stay disconnected from him. Looking at him is a way to be vulnerable and connected (like the stuff Brene Brown talks about). I am supposed to be learning that it isn't actually dangerous to be vulnerable or connected because other people cannot hurt me with their judgments, opinions and non-acceptance. I am who I am which is just fine no matter what others think.
and he is really weird. he has this weird head that looks like a completely different person when you look at it front on vs side on. and he has these little beady eyes. they're freaky. i have a photo of him where he looks gentle and kind and caring and special but then i get there and there is a weird guy who stares at me and i'm spose to look at that and i don't like it. he reckons he'd be less weird if i looked at him more but i don't know. i still reckon he'd look weird. and he's always so nice to me. but when i try to look at him it's like he's looking at me in a nice way which is fully freaky too.
__________________
He said that we can email as MUCH as we want (100 times per day). Believe in this - it is challenging fears about being punished. It is okay to be seen. You are not a nuisance. "Too much" simply means exploration, not punishment/withdrawal. Trust in him. Not looking at him is about keeping aspects of self hidden/secret. We know that is not the healthy choice. Keep working on this - you will get there. Accept there are parts. Be kind and gentle with them. Working with parts and feelings is the key to happiness. We have been happy before when listened to them and accepted them and were open to feelings. Write in your journal - it is safe to do so.
|
|
#6
Apr 26, 2011, 05:47 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I wouldn't want to look at him either! Great to see you posting more!
|
| dinosaurs
|
|
#7
Apr 26, 2011, 08:24 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I can understand where it would be hard to look at someone who looks odd (fortunately my T looks lovely
 ) but can you try just little peeks now and then, more and more often? I do see T's point about learning that eye contact, some vulnerability/trust is OK and safe......being connected in a small way even is good, too and will help your therapy lots and you too! big hugs to you (((((dinos))))) |
| dinosaurs
|
|
#8
Apr 26, 2011, 09:04 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The more you look at T, the more familiar he will become to you.
All things that become familiar... start out as unfamiliar and strange. What would it be like if this issue of looking at T was no longer there? |
| dinosaurs
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
