[BlessedRhiannon]

And I know it, but I can't seem to stop the thoughts anyway!

Last night, I sent my T an email and mentioned something I'd been thinking about that I want to talk about in our next session. It's something I'm uncomfortable with, and I'm afraid I didn't word my email clearly, and I'm afraid my T will misunderstand what I did write. This is something my T encouraged me to do...email her when I think about stuff that I want to communicate to her, and not worry about how I word it or agonize over sending the email. So, I did...and now I can't stop the worrying.

Worst of all...my T always replies to emails in the morning...and I haven't gotten a reply from her yet! She knows this is a huge deal for me...not getting a reply sends me in to a spiral of worrying about what I've sent. She had previously agreed to at least always send me a "got your message, we'll talk in session." reply. I keep telling myself that she's probably just busy and hasn't checked emails yet today. Or maybe, since I said that it was something I wanted to talk about, she thinks I don't expect a reply. Or maybe she wanted to think over her reply before sending one. I keep telling myself that her not replying does NOT mean that she thinks less of me or doesn't want to communicate with me, it's NOT a rejection. I'm just having a really hard time believing it. This is a constant conflict for me...what I can logically surmise to be true versus what my experiences tell me.

[Feydd]

Rhi, first of all, worrying doesn't add an inch to your height or a day to your life. Until there is something to worry about, you need to just "let it go" and by that I mean, sometimes no news is good news. You're right she's probably busy.

Second, why should it matter to you whether or not your T "thinks less of you"? Are you going to Therapy to better yourself or to please the therapist? Trust me, Therapists do what they do without judging you for your behavior. What they do is get you to start judging yourself and watching what you are doing, taking note of your own behavior. If you believe that you impulsively send emails on a regular basis then start sending them to yourself first, reread them the next day, if it sounds ok, then forward it to the intended party, if not, change it and resend it to yourself and reread again.

There's going to have to come a time when you stop trying to please other people with your behavior and just be YOU. You'll stand up and say, "Ya know what? This makes me happy or this is who I am or I like me even if you don't like me" and just let other people keep their close minded or narrow view of people in their life.

You will always be judged by other people in this world, some good some not....why care about those that judge you negatively? move on and forward and stop trying to please them. Your T will not judge you negatively because this email proves that you've done some serious soul searching and you're finally ready to discuss something that you were uncomfortable discussing previously and she's going to be thrilled that you've reached this point in your therapy where you are opening up, taking the risk and following through.

I say Kudos to you.....be proud that you've finally reached this point with someone even if it is just a therapist...soon you will learn to be more open with other people in your life as well and that, my friend, means you're on the road to wellness!!!!



hope this helps...

[lastyearisblank]

If I were your T it would be a "thinking before you send it" kind of situation, honestly I wait on answers and the more important the question feels, the more I tend to wait.

Hope she sends you a reply soon OR a we'll-talk-in-session. Waiting stinks!

[WikidPissah]

So hard to wait...but I am sure your T isn't rejecting you or thinking badly of you. Give T a chance, if she doesn't respond today maybe send a "did you get my email" email.

[dizgirl2011]

Hey hun,

I can bet the moon and the stars your therapist doesn't think any less of you and that she will be glad you took her advice to just email when you felt the need

She perhaps just couldn't get to check her emails this morning, I am sure it's nothing personal at all. Don't worry about the possibility of her misunderstanding something, she will check her understanding with you if she is unsure anyway as thats part of her job. I do hope she replies to you soon but try not to worry.. i know thats much easier said than done but im sure its nothing at all to worry about, you did the right thing

I am SURE your T doesn't think anything badly of you at ALL! Maybe this morning she had a doctors appointment, or had to go to work late for something, or her internet wouldn't connect for some weird reason. I am SURE its nothing! Did you hear from her yet? I am SURE its going to be okay!!

[BlessedRhiannon]

Haven't heard from her yet - but she almost never responds to emails during the work day. She usually only replies before 9 am or after 5 pm. Still - everytime my phone buzzes with an email alert, my stomach drops a little, and I grab the phone to see who the email was from. At this point, I'm just as anxious about getting a reply as I am about not getting a reply. I want her to reply because I need that validation, but I don't want her to reply because I'm kind of scared about what she might say.

[dizgirl2011]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Haven't heard from her yet - but she almost never responds to emails during the work day. She usually only replies before 9 am or after 5 pm. Still - everytime my phone buzzes with an email alert, my stomach drops a little, and I grab the phone to see who the email was from. At this point, I'm just as anxious about getting a reply as I am about not getting a reply. I want her to reply because I need that validation, but I don't want her to reply because I'm kind of scared about what she might say.

something may have stopped her checking her mail this morning. Perhaps she will repond after 5pm or even ring. I hope she does hun but i am sure its nothing personal about you

[lastyearisblank]

Hope you don't have to wait much longer

[BlessedRhiannon]

Finally! T emailed me back. Huge sigh of relief. She didn't say anything substantive...just that she looks forward to talking about it in my next session. But, she replied and that's all I needed. Seriously...just getting the reply was a gigantic relief.