[*doodles*]

If your T will really be able to "fix" you? Or do you have complete confidence in them?
I keep going back and forth, but theres this part of me that wonders if she can really help me, or if I should try and find someone else. I want to share with her something I have never even spoken of, and I wrote it all out. But I am scared to take that step because I feel like if she fails, I will never be able to get it out with anyone else. I guess I feel like its a one-shot deal and if I don't get the right reaction, or if she doesn't deal with it right, it will go right back to where its been sitting the past 10 years-in my head-forever.
Should I just take this leap of faith, or do you think there is a legitimate reason for holding back?

[swimmergirl]

Hi Doodle,

No T can fix us. I think you mean if she can help you. I understand the one shot deal......it's like if I can't get it right with T, who can I get it right with? That thought scares me as well.
I feel like a parrot repeating good advice but it has worked for me. Why don't you print up this post and talk to her about it. Maybe T can help you address your all or nothing approach(with I deal with as well) and see that even if she can't help, it doesn't mean she doesn't care.............and she can point you in the direction of someone who can. So in that respect, if she can't help you, she can help you find someone who can.
Now if you are holding back as a trust issue............that is different altogether. You definitely want to make sure you trust her, completely, before you reveal what "it" is. But you can still address you questions about "it" in the meantime. Hang in there.

[ECHOES]

You can first talk with your therapist about having something difficult to share and what that means to you, what your fears are around it that you mentioned in your post.
Then your therapist will have a better understanding of what you want and need, so she can provide that for you.
You and she will be creating the safe space for your sharing what you would like to share, so you don't have to be alone with it anymore.

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by doodle3609

If your T will really be able to "fix" you? Or do you have complete confidence in them?
I keep going back and forth, but theres this part of me that wonders if she can really help me, or if I should try and find someone else. I want to share with her something I have never even spoken of, and I wrote it all out. But I am scared to take that step because I feel like if she fails, I will never be able to get it out with anyone else. I guess I feel like its a one-shot deal and if I don't get the right reaction, or if she doesn't deal with it right, it will go right back to where its been sitting the past 10 years-in my head-forever.
Should I just take this leap of faith, or do you think there is a legitimate reason for holding back?

T can't fix me, per se, but I do wonder sometimes if I am able to be helped! I think she has helped me, that she IS able to help me, but I have to trust her for her to be able to really help me. I have taken leaps of faith and found them rewarded; I have been hurt, too. But overall, it has been worth it to trust T and to let go of long-held pain, secrets, abuse.......I hope you can find it to be the same for you, that trust is worth it, because you don't want to hold on to the painful stuff and the pain!