so havent seen my T in over 3 weeks...not a normal session since the end of March ().... I just happened to get today off work so I texted her and said I've got the whole day off, just in case you happen to have time to fit me in someplace (she's got loads of intense family stuff going on) and she ACTUALLY texted me back!!! She said we could probably meet this afternoon around 2 or 3
i was like, I will be there at 2!!!!
so she said she's got some errands to run and things to do but she will let me know an exact time once she gets her things done, i told her well I will leave me house at 1 (takes me an hour to get there) and just hang out at the mall or something until i hear from her

PLEASE pray that nothing gets messed up and that we actually get to meet TODAY!!!! man I have missed her SO much and so many things have happened in the past month. my husband said, "tell her you want to stay ALL day " no kidding. it would take about an 11 hour session to get caught up right now.

[swimmergirl]

YAYYYYYYYY Sarah!!!! So happy for you. Hope everything goes well and things are going better for T too!

YAYYYY SARAH!!!!!!! I hope things go in the direction you want them to today!!!! I'm pulling for you and sending positive vibes!!! Keep us posted if you want to share later how things went. Thinking of you!!!!

[karebear1]

That's awesome SarahMichelle! I hope that things stay just as they are planned and you have a wonderful meeting with her. Please let us know how it goes- ok?

[SpiritRunner]

wonderful! I SO SO SO hope you see her today and that you have a good good session!

[rainbow8]

I hope your session goes well for you today!

catching this late, wishing you the best!

sending safe hugs

We did get to see her!! Talked about 4 hours...lots of catching up to do. Going back tomorrow after work for more. Will share more tomorrow when i have more time. We feel SOOOOO much better--what a weight off. Thank you everyone for your support during this awful time.

[swimmergirl]

Wow...............glad you are doing better. I hope your T is too. Yay!

[karebear1]

Good to hear it SarahMichelle! looking forward to hearing all about it tomorrow!

[PTSDlovemycats]

Wow 4hrs!! That is a LONG session! I am glad that it went well!

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by SarahMichelle

We did get to see her!! Talked about 4 hours...lots of catching up to do. Going back tomorrow after work for more. Will share more tomorrow when i have more time. We feel SOOOOO much better--what a weight off. Thank you everyone for your support during this awful time.

wow! that sounds like a great session! 4 hours is incredible!

I have a few minutes to write before the baby wakes up...hopefully.

It kind of feels like a pressure valve has gotten some of the pressure released from it in my head and my body. My shoulders are not so tight now. We hold all our tension & stress in our back and shoulders. It had gotten so terrible. Feeling a bit more relaxed now.

Yah so T let us know some of the stuff that she has been so busy with and said she was sorry it took so long--she didn't intend to be gone for so long--- with the stuff she has been through, I'm amazed she is still standing. WOW. I feel so bad for her. She didn't tell me any details, just sort of a run thru so I would have an idea of whats been going on and why she couldn't work. It was a LOT. Time always goes by fast for her when she is under stress so she didn't even really realize it was that long of a time. She apologized because she knows time goes by really slow for me.

So mostly yesterday was a lot of the inside kids coming out to say hi to her and give her lots of hugs and tell her what has been going on the last month. And they gave her cards they made her and pictures of trauma stuff they've been drawing and collages we have made. And we told her about trying to find fill-in therapists and calling the hotlines and whatnot and how awful that whole ordeal was

A couple of them told her how they were mad at her and had felt so abandoned and how scary it was to not hear from her for such a long time. So they got to talk about that. They talked about how 1 of the teens had been cutting and all that.

So we got caught up on a lot of the basics but believe it or not in 4 hours, only half the kids had a chance to say hi
Today when we go back the rest of them can have their chance and T wants to talk more about the collages and drawings.

We asked if we are going to be able to start meeting regularly again and she said she sure plans on it (relief ) T looked a lot less stressed out than she did last time we saw her so that made us feel better. She seemed more like herself. Not all the way 100%, but lots closer.

Look at me bumping up my own thread... sorry

So I got to go see T for a couple hours last night and this time she spent the most time talking to us older ones. Trying to say hi and catch up a little bit. We still haven't done any actual "work"-- its been mostly getting re-acquainted with each other..

So T suggested that we come see her on Saturday and hang out for a good part of the day, and do some hard work with the kids like about the collages they made and the pictures they drew (trauma icky stuff) and then do something fun. Sooo... hopefully it will work out with both of our schedules and we can have a long long session on Saturday to start getting back on track with actual work

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by SarahMichelle

Look at me bumping up my own thread... sorry

So I got to go see T for a couple hours last night and this time she spent the most time talking to us older ones. Trying to say hi and catch up a little bit. We still haven't done any actual "work"-- its been mostly getting re-acquainted with each other..

So T suggested that we come see her on Saturday and hang out for a good part of the day, and do some hard work with the kids like about the collages they made and the pictures they drew (trauma icky stuff) and then do something fun. Sooo... hopefully it will work out with both of our schedules and we can have a long long session on Saturday to start getting back on track with actual work

sounds good!

[Korin]

SarahMichelle, thanks for the update.
Glad things went well.

I have one coming up on the 1st June.
Haven't seen her in two months.

[dizgirl2011]

Hey SarahMichelle,

I am sooooooooooooooo delighted to read this post, I must have missed it when you originally posted it and just happened to see it when looking back a few pages!

You have done so well during such a stressful break and I am just so happy you are getting plenty of time with your therapist now to make up for the time you lost and for your patience throughout, I know it wasn't easy at all.

I hope you are never put in that situation again as it really wasn't right and she still should have kept you informed but it sounds like shes trying to make up for that and I am really happy for you!

Went to see hertoday also for a few hours. Sort of as a make up session I guess. She spent some time talking to the kids about some collages and drawings they'd done about some really intense/yucky stuff (abuse stuff ). That was sort of hard on them I think. I am not sure what they said.
But they also had ice cream.
She also got one of the little autistic ones (who we have the MOST trouble with all the time) to come out, and she pushed her on the swings, and they went stomping through a creek, and she said that the little one was even splashing and jumping in the water and GIGGLING!!!
Now THAT is progress!! (she used to just cry and tear things up--that was ALL)
we offered to write her a check today for a million jillion dollars for getting the little one to giggle.

[dizgirl2011]

Originally Posted by SarahMichelle

Went to see hertoday also for a few hours. Sort of as a make up session I guess. She spent some time talking to the kids about some collages and drawings they'd done about some really intense/yucky stuff (abuse stuff ). That was sort of hard on them I think. I am not sure what they said.
But they also had ice cream.
She also got one of the little autistic ones (who we have the MOST trouble with all the time) to come out, and she pushed her on the swings, and they went stomping through a creek, and she said that the little one was even splashing and jumping in the water and GIGGLING!!!
Now THAT is progress!! (she used to just cry and tear things up--that was ALL)
we offered to write her a check today for a million jillion dollars for getting the little one to giggle.

Hey SarahMichelle,

it sounds like the little ones had some fun and some hard stuff to deal with. Your T sounds very understanding. Actually she sounds lovely.

Would you be able to do me a huge favour and explain what it's like to have DID? I would love to know more about it. When you are in one identity and then come out of it, do you have conscious memories of being the one before? I find it really interesting. If you don't really want to go into it all then dont worry at all. I just thought I would ask

Diz xxx

I am so very glad that she is finally back and that you've had some special time together! Can you discuss with her a system that you can put in place in case something like this happens again? I know it's probably the last thing you want to think about when she's only just come back, but it might give you some peace of mind over the longer term.

Would you be able to do me a huge favour and explain what it's like to have DID? I would love to know more about it. When you are in one identity and then come out of it, do you have conscious memories of being the one before?

Sure no problem, I will try.

Hm. What its like to have DID. It is sort of like... being squished into a room with a lot of different people (whom you may or may not like) and being told to get along. And there is a door in the room with a window in the door. People on the outside might always see the outside of the room as looking exactly the same. But different inside people answer the door. And sometimes, different inside people can see outside the window even when another inside person answers the door. Sometimes 2 people can answer the door at the same time.
We all see each other inside as individuals. We are all different ages (2 through about 30+)- a few boys but mostly girls. We all look different to each other. We all dress differently. The boys look like boys inside, the girls look like girls inside. (IE, I have long blond hair, one of the boys has short brown hair--- even though we know on the outside we have long brown hair.)
We all have very different likes and dislikes, like different favorite colors/ books/ tv shows/ music/ animals/ hobbies.
We are all good at different things (I can't draw; the 17 year old is a good artist. I can speak swedish and spanish; others cant. Etc)
When we come out of 1 identity (that's called switching)-- usually nowadays we remember who has done what. It just depends on who has been around. We usually dont remember things certain kids have done. We usually do remember the things the other adults have done. We usually CANNOT control each others behavior (which is embarassing sometimes.)...for instance... we have an autistic nonbverbal 3 year old who flaps her hands and jumps up and down when she gets excited.... HARDLY the image I want to project as a professional 38 year old, LOL

here is a link if you want to read about it http://www.karitas.net/blackbirds/layman/whatis.html

http://jdcard.com/mpdfrnd1.htm

thanks for asking, btw. I appreciate your question.