crossing boundaries?

salty04 · Jun 15, 2011 at 07:38 PM

I have been in theray since Nov 2010 and for several months now I have been doing some accounting work for her in exchange for Payment for services she is willing to do this for me because of my financial situtation If I could not do this then I think I would have to quit therapy. I am ok with this just wondering what other people thought about this? Wondering if this is some how crossing boundaries?

dizgirl2011 · Jun 15, 2011 at 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by salty04

I have been in theray since Nov 2010 and for several months now I have been doing some accounting work for her in exchange for Payment for services she is willing to do this for me because of my financial situtation If I could not do this then I think I would have to quit therapy. I am ok with this just wondering what other people thought about this? Wondering if this is some how crossing boundaries?

I think this is allowed but it can cause ethical delimas to arise, such as if you were unable to do that work for her or there was no accounting work to be done, what would happen. Do you have a contract about the terms of this agreement? Did you pay in the begining of your therapy? Do you see any problems arising from this agreement?

salty04 · Jun 15, 2011 at 08:34 PM

Hey, thanks for the reply I have been doing the accounting work since January and still paying very high co payment but she was not billing insurance because she said she did not accecpt it then last month it started to become very hard to pay co payment she said to just pay her one time monthly and by doing her accounting it would cover the rest. I trust her so I do not se any problems arising from this it just feels a little weird guess I do feel a little Vulnerable.

kaliope · Jun 15, 2011 at 08:44 PM

is this is the US? this was a big issue in the office i worked in. there is the NASW code of ethics and it discusses stuff like this and we would debate it all the time. first of all, the code is a guideline to follow. as long as your therapist can prove that you are not being harmed in any way, that you do not feel coerced into doing this in any way, there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. if you are feeling funny or uncomfortable about what you are doing, then you shouldnt be doing it. if the arrangement is comfortable to you, helping you out, then there is nothing wrong with it. no harm can be brought to the client in any way is what is important in these types of arrangments.

salty04 · Jun 15, 2011 at 08:54 PM

Thanks for the reply kaliope yes it is in the US. The arrangement is helping me out and hearing from other people makes me feel more comfortable with it. I am very greatful to be getting the much needed therapy.

deliquesce · Jun 15, 2011 at 09:09 PM

i'm in australia, salty, but we have similar ethical guidelines. my T offers me therapy for free, with the understanding that if he needs help with certain things i have skills for (e.g., web design) that I will return it in the future.

it isn't unethical, but sometimes it has been a bit tricky to manage. like last year i got really, really depressed and couldn't do the work that he needed, and i felt like i had failed him. it made therapy very difficult because i felt so guilty. but he twigged that it was an issue for me and clarified that it wasn't an issue for him - that there would be plenty of opportunity to help in the future and so not to worry about it for now.

at the moment i'm not doing anything for him, but i know i'll start helping out again around august. the stuff i help out with isnt essential, and he's terribly busy too, so it's the sort of thing that can wait. it helps me out a lot to not need to pay him because otherwise i probably couldnt afford to go.

salty04 · Jul 12, 2011 at 09:08 PM

Well now I am really not sure what is going on with my therapy. Had apointment today at 1:20 T is 10min late with now excuse then we talk about ten min on paper work that she has me doing for her then we talk mabye 10 min about me then she talks about problems with her Aunt then says her next appoinment is early so time is up now it is 2:00pm? I am not sure where to go from here with T I still pay $50.00 a month and the rest is in trade for the work I do for her and she cut me back to 3 sessions a month. I guess right now I still in shock as to what happened. We have had problems in past with scheduled dates and times and when I tried to bring up my concerns about this she makes me feel like it was me screwed up? I have had several T over the years but have never experinced any thing like this I like this T because she Helping me by giving me a break? My question is is this really helping me? How many more times can I go to session and not really have the session?

my3sns · Jul 12, 2011 at 10:43 PM

Hopefully you and T can talk this out and come to a better agreement that you both understand clearly.

Perna · Jul 13, 2011 at 10:28 AM

If you are questioning (and your opinion/view is all that matters with your therapy) then it probably is not a great arrangement and certainly sounds "painful" to me. With therapy, you should not have to be confused as to the relationship, you should be able to discuss it openly and equally. The therapist already has a bit of a power advantage since you are wanting her services but to be less than straightforward with the payment and able to adjust times, amounts, etc. without discussion with you does not sound very kind and slightly "unethical". You are indebted to her and that's not good for therapy. There should be an agreed upon fee for X services and it should not be adjusted without both people's input.

anilam · Jul 13, 2011 at 10:29 AM

I dont like it at all. Feels strange to me. According to my country it would be a breach of ethical code for psychotherapy.
Please think twice about it. Cheers.

with or without you · Jul 13, 2011 at 10:57 AM

I thought I read somewhere (maybe the APA online or wikipedia?) that bartering was acceptable, but it depends on the individual case.

Perna · Jul 13, 2011 at 11:44 AM

I think bartering is quite acceptable but it has to be a clear barter; changing up the "rules" and conditions without mutual discussion is sleazy.

with or without you · Jul 13, 2011 at 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perna

I think bartering is quite acceptable but it has to be a clear barter; changing up the "rules" and conditions without mutual discussion is sleazy.

agreed...

Butterflies Are Free · Jul 13, 2011 at 12:36 PM

I think that this is a tricky situation. It doesn't seem to be healthy for you and I am concerned about the way your last session went. Therapy really needs to be about you, not her. I think you should talk to her about it if you are able to.

WikidPissah · Jul 13, 2011 at 01:59 PM

You definitely need a session just to work this thru. You need to be honest if you are feeling pressure. Are you at all open to finding a T on your insurance plan? I only say that because it would be less complicated...but I know I am not willing to change T's even though things are weird right now.

salty04 · Jul 13, 2011 at 07:31 PM

Thanks you guys for all of your responses...I have had this on my mind all day because I know I really need to confront her as to how this last this is one of the reasons I am in therapy to begin with is that I have gone through life avoiding any type of confrontation I will just keep my mouth shut and not say any thing even when I know I need to speak up and say how I feel about how I am being treated. My thought is the T should be helping me with these kinds of situtationsa not creating them? But between know and my visit next monday I will pray I will get the courage to speak up and say how it made me feel and that I really do not know were we should go from here? I think I am just really scared of being rejected.

salty04 · Jul 14, 2011 at 07:03 PM

Made a very hard decision today. I spoke with a new T and explained what was going on and she asked me how does this make you feel I told her I felt like it made me feel very uncomfortable and every week it keeps getting worse. She said well then you know what you need to do. She said I can tell you that you did nothing wrong and what the T is doing is very unethical and she should never have done it. She said she used to be on the board and still new someone on the board I said I did not want to give a name or do any thing to the T I have no intention to do any harm to any one but I just wanted to start getting the therapy I had intended to get in the first place. So any way long story short I really dread Monday when I will meet with T to be honest with her and tell her this is the last time I will be seeing her I do feel I owe her this much and the fact I have to give all the paper work that I have of hers for the work I was doing for her.(Scared to death). I do see new T next Thursday lets hope this is a better fit.....

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salty04 Member Member Since Nov 2010 Location: New Mexico Posts: 31 13	Jun 15, 2011 at 08:54 PM #5 Thanks for the reply kaliope yes it is in the US. The arrangement is helping me out and hearing from other people makes me feel more comfortable with it. I am very greatful to be getting the much needed therapy. __________________
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my3sns Veteran Member Member Since Jul 2008 Location: south carolina Posts: 320 16	Jul 12, 2011 at 10:43 PM #8 Hopefully you and T can talk this out and come to a better agreement that you both understand clearly.
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anilam Grand Poohbah Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Middle of Nowhere Posts: 1,806 13 743 hugs given	Jul 13, 2011 at 10:29 AM #10 I dont like it at all. Feels strange to me. According to my country it would be a breach of ethical code for psychotherapy. Please think twice about it. Cheers.
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with or without you Poohbah Member Since Nov 2010 Location: US Posts: 1,273 13	Jul 13, 2011 at 10:57 AM #11 I thought I read somewhere (maybe the APA online or wikipedia?) that bartering was acceptable, but it depends on the individual case.
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Perna Pandita-in-training Member Since Sep 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 27,289 (SuperPoster!) 18 550 hugs given	Jul 13, 2011 at 11:44 AM #12 I think bartering is quite acceptable but it has to be a clear barter; changing up the "rules" and conditions without mutual discussion is sleazy. __________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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Butterflies Are Free Grand Member Member Since Jun 2011 Location: USA Posts: 892 13 26 hugs given	Jul 13, 2011 at 12:36 PM #14 I think that this is a tricky situation. It doesn't seem to be healthy for you and I am concerned about the way your last session went. Therapy really needs to be about you, not her. I think you should talk to her about it if you are able to.
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WikidPissah Euphie Queen Member Since Jul 2010 Location: New England Posts: 10,718 (SuperPoster!) 14 4,940 hugs given	Jul 13, 2011 at 01:59 PM #15 You definitely need a session just to work this thru. You need to be honest if you are feeling pressure. Are you at all open to finding a T on your insurance plan? I only say that because it would be less complicated...but I know I am not willing to change T's even though things are weird right now. __________________ never mind...
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