[lonely and scared]

My T keeps telling me I am story telling all the time instead of discussing things. I don't know I am doing it and I get confused by what he means by it. I have asked him but it just confuses me more.
I would like to know if anyone else gets told this.

[Elli-Beth]

I do this when I'm scared to talk about the really hard stuff. I'll talk about what the family did over the weekend or how work was instead of being willing to tackle the abuse or how crappy I feel. Sometimes I'll get into history about the abuse, but I'll avoid emotions related to it.

[Mediator]

I talked to somebody previous time about that my father tried to abuse me. It was without any feeling just as telling somebody what I had for breakfast. I started do meditation and if I write it I am angry.
Maybe it is a little about your story telling instead of discussion.

[ECHOES]

To me, story telling versus discussion is the difference between talking about the concrete details versus what the experience was like.

"I went shopping with friends. We went to the new Ikea store. I hadn't been there before. I didn't buy much and it was really crowded."

versus

"I went out with friends and mostly had a good time. We had fun at lunch before going to the new Ikea. At lunch we were laughing about the time we.... The new Ikea store was so crowded that I soon felt like I needed to get out of there. But I didn't want to tell my friends that the crowded store was making me feel panicky." .....

[TayQuincy]

A discussion is an exchange between two or more people, where both are kind of examining the "story". perhaps your T sees you as only telling a story and not something you are examining together or discussing in order to find meaning behind it.

[WePow]

My college T used to tell me "You are sharing these events with me but you sound like a news reporter!" My emotions were in no way connected to the event I was talking about. My T now makes me slow down and will ask how I felt when something was going on - or he says "What does that bring up for you when you talk about it?"

I have asked him but it just confuses me more.

What does he say when you ask him?

I don't know what that means either.

[sunrise]

I don't know what your T means by that, and my T never has told me that. I see sharing stories of one's life as a very positive thing. "Discussing" sounds not as helpful, to me, like too analytical and not feelings-based. Also, I think if the T asks the client to "tell me a story from your life", it is very inviting, and less threatening than "tell me what is bothering you." The word "story" is an important one to me, in many areas besides therapy. In therapy, when I am having a hard time bringing up a difficult topic, I will sometimes help myself do it by thinking that I am just going to tell my T a story. It is reassuring and makes it more "doable" for me. It can also have a welcome element of distancing, like I'm telling a story about someone else. And this is extremely helpful in getting started on really hard material.

There is even a story-based form of therapy called narrative therapy.

So, for me telling a story in therapy is a very good thing! Hope your T can explain why he doesn't like stories and prefers discussions.