[Bill3]

What makes for as good session for you?

For me, it goes better if I have done some thinking/preparing in advance. I jot down ideas in a little notebook that I carry with me.

If I leave with lots to think about...

[unaluna]

Lately I like when there's some emotional connection in the room. Like if I tell t about somebody on PC, and he says, oh you like that person because blah blah blah. And that makes it more real - it's like - yeah, I wouldn't have this knowledge or awareness in my life if not for this person, so it's good to make connections to people, and it's mutual. So he reinforces that getting involved with other people is beneficial, because I will tend to isolate otherwise.

Eta: so the connection is between t and me, and between me and whoever.

[granite1]

I think it is a good session if I am able to relax enough to talk and also feel connected and leave feeling like my T wants to help me

Usually if I leave feeling awful... Then I know I have been brave and vulnerable and I am working hard even though it feels like poison. I won't tell you at the time that it is a good session though. Usually I will say (in my mind or to my husband) that I'm quitting or I hate my therapist, or she sucks at her job, or something equally friendly and uplifting...

Occasionally I have a session where I feel loved and honored, too. Those are also nice.

[anilam]

When I leave the room feeling somewhat hopeful-like I CAN do this. Sure, it doesn't last but man it feels great

[healed84]

I like RTS's answer.. When I walk away from a t session with something to really ponder.. I think that is a good session. Also, when T has challenged me, I may walk away frustrated, but later on I reflect back on the session and find it was, in general a good session.

[unlockingsanity]

Gut wrenching honesty...

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

Gut wrenching honesty...

Unbelievably true!

[precious things]

For me the best sessions are the ones where I feel deeply connected to T and it feels like we aren't following any therapy script. When we are in deep collaboration. Usually these come from talking about painful experiences.

[feralkittymom]

I think the best sessions for me were when I could reveal and re-experience deep emotions without dissociating, and my T would respond in a way that seemed to result in an emotional leap forward in our relationship. I'm not sure how that happened. Part of it was catharsis and validation, but how he took in that emotion from my sole experience and somehow made it the impetus to a shared, or co-created emotional experience in our relationship, always left me feeling more attached, more cared for, more hopeful, and more seen than ever before. I've wondered if such exchanges touch upon the innate capacity for bonding that an infant and parent have for each other. I don't know that I experienced much of that as an infant, and certainly wouldn't remember it as an experience if I did, but it felt like what I can imagine that bonding moment would feel like.

[stopdog]

Although I don't put good and therapy together - I consider an appointment to be reasonably adequate if I leave not wanting to smash myself into a cement wall repeatedly from rage and frustration. It happens about every two or three months that I leave not feeling worse than when I went in. It helps me when the therapist does not talk.

[iheartjacques]

I don't walk out feeling happy. It's a bit like doing something I don't want to, and I feel exhausted or drained afterwards. Sometimes I do walk out feeling better. But overall, I am getting better and i have a lot less mess in my head.

[growlycat]

I leave feeling raw in a good way. Ripped open, patched up, and sent away with metaphorical pain meds.

Strangely, revealing something painful, humiliating, agonizing but then making a powerful connection to someone caring and nonjudgemental really helps. A good session involves a connection, but also involves normalizing of my experience, a plan of action out of the pain and homework that chips away at my issues. Bonus points for insights I've never thought of before. Leaving with a sense of hope that things will be ok.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Bonus points for insights I've never thought of before. Leaving with a sense of hope that things will be ok.

I have never had the experience you describe with a therapist.