[elliemay]

but I can't figure out what.

I've learned that if I look at my behavior in therapy that it's pretty symbolic sometimes. I'm very odd.

For instance, I made my therapist a collage, I gave him a tiger's eye stone, an apache tear stone, and then last session a rather large piece of lapis - the color of the third eye chakra.

In fact, we talked about how men seem to be especially drawn to the color of lapis because, well, no offense, but their third eye is usually closed. He admitted it was his favorite color.

I'm trying to get him to see something.

Have you guys ever experienced this? Something lurking, waiting to bubble out, but not quite there yet?

[rainbow8]

Do you want to get closer to him, maybe? Or you feel that he is not seeing YOU because his third eye is closed? I think you want him to see YOU better.

What was the collage about? Maybe that's a clue. Or is it just that you want to give him gifts to show your appreciation/love for him? Do you want him to give you gifts back?

Just throwing out ideas. I'm not sure of anything, but I'm sure it will come to you! Did you ask T what HE thinks you want him to see? Be patient!

Isn't it interesting how our subconscious can be a step (or two or three) ahead of us?

There have been times when I've wanted to do a certain thing in therapy (like color or whatever), or I've brought something to T, and even though it doesn't make sense, I just roll with it. And eventually, it becomes SO clear what the meaning behind the behavior/symbol was...it brings up something that needs healed, or it clarifies something we haven't understood, or it moves our relationship forward a step, or whatever. That's when T talks about "inner wisdom"...sort of the willingness to just pay attention to what we're guided to do, without knowing in advance what the outcome will be.

I can't wait to hear what you discover.

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by elliemay

but I can't figure out what.

I've learned that if I look at my behavior in therapy that it's pretty symbolic sometimes. I'm very odd.

For instance, I made my therapist a collage, I gave him a tiger's eye stone, an apache tear stone, and then last session a rather large piece of lapis - the color of the third eye chakra.

In fact, we talked about how men seem to be especially drawn to the color of lapis because, well, no offense, but their third eye is usually closed. He admitted it was his favorite color.

I'm trying to get him to see something.

Have you guys ever experienced this? Something lurking, waiting to bubble out, but not quite there yet?

yup and sometimes T tells me what it is I am showing her before I am even aware, accept I don't take things into therapy, but perhaps may start talking about the Tree outside or whatever, I think this goes on in everyday life, we say one thing when we really mean another, and hence Freudian slips occur, its good when we have astute T's that are looking beyond what we do and say, thats therapy in my book.

[WePow]

It sounds like you are wanting him to see something inside you that you are hiding from the rest of the world. It almost is like you are giving him clues... bread crumbs to follow?

[Sweetlove]

Originally Posted by elliemay

Have you guys ever experienced this? Something lurking, waiting to bubble out, but not quite there yet?

Yes, I'm going through it right now...wanting my T to almost grab something from inside me, pull it out and show it to me...saying "see, THIS is what IT is" I'm waiting for this major breakthrough and its just not happening yet...I guess the best thing to do is to keep showing up and eventually things (possibly that we didn't even know were there) will show themselves. Good luck

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by elliemay

I'm trying to get him to see something.

Him, or you?

[elliemay]

I'm pretty sure that it is about me. Although Pachy has a good point.

It may be about him, which of course means there is likely something I see in him that I want him to know.

I don't know if I believe in all this, only that I like rocks, but lapis feels like a powerful stone to me. We spent a lot of time on it.

According to my neighbor, Luna and her dog Sundancer (and I'm pretty sure they would know), lapis is a healing stone, full of insight. Perfect for psychotherapy with a male therapist she said. I could barely hear her over the pan flute in the background. So, like I said, I'm pretty sure she should know.

I'm trying my best to open myself to all comers, all thoughts, all feelings. It's rather scary, but necessary I think.

Both my therapist and I agree that I have no idea what my worst memory is.

If it's bad, then it's bad. All I know is that something is rising, and no Pachy, it's not the bread .

[Balance3011]

Originally Posted by Sweetlove

Yes, I'm going through it right now...wanting my T to almost grab something from inside me, pull it out and show it to me...saying "see, THIS is what IT is" I'm waiting for this major breakthrough and its just not happening yet...I guess the best thing to do is to keep showing up and eventually things (possibly that we didn't even know were there) will show themselves. Good luck

I would like to hear more of your thoughts on this. This will probably sound really weird but I had a past therapist tell me upon leaving that, "Maybe another therapist will be able to pull it out of you!" I don't know what she meant, but as she gestured while she said that, my body felt as though she were literally reaching/grabbing inside of me and trying to pull something out! It was a very odd experience that I don't quite know how to explain. No major breakthrough....just more confusion. Any thoughts on this!!??

[unaluna]

I'm glad you asked this question, I have felt this way a long time. Not too long ago, my T said, I just realized everything you say MEANS something. I was like, yeah, DUH! I used to tell my previous T I spoke in metaphors (as you say, symbolic). I could see how everything was connected, but I needed them to explain it to me, but THEY couldn't see how it was connected, I guess. Well, since that while ago, my T has been making excellent progress! It's like we're both finally speaking the same language to each other, whereas before, we did not understand each other's language, hardly even our own. And actually there wasn't a MISSING memory, I just put all the ones I DO have together, but with a uniting theme or plot, like a movie, and now it's all starting to make sense. But I am a storyteller; it is interesting to see how you are using your art style to integrate, see your big picture.

[lastyearisblank]

how men seem to be especially drawn to the color of lapis because, well, no offense, but their third eye is usually closed

Am not sure what a third eye is, but if it's what I think it is..........YES

Keep trying. You tell your story, ellie. He'll understand it at his pace.