[TinaL]

Seen T today. We discussed my feelings and how things are going. I told T not good at all. He asked me all these questions. We talked about the meds, and possible anti- depressants. He suggest I take the medicine for a time being before making any decisions. I agree. I just feel like I was not able to express my depression enough.. T listens and gives good feedback but if I can't tell all he can't know what is going on.
I am frustrated even more than when I went in! I am not doing well. I am having thoughts of hurting myself and just wanting to be out of this life. Why couldn't I just say this sentence to T?
I don't know something has to give. I am tired----

I don't know what to do?
Thanks for listening...

[PTSDlovemycats]

Hey Tina. Keep yourself safe ok? Remember how strong you are. You will get through this part as well just as you did with the other tough parts. Maybe try catching up on some sleep. Still thinking of you.

[WePow]

(((((Tina))))

You sound totally exhausted. You use the phrase "I am tired" ... boy can I relate!
That is something I have heard myself say over and over both in therapy sessions and just in life. Being emotionally exhausted is a difficult place to be.

When I get to that place, I get upset with myself for not being motivated and not having the energy to even care. What I learned in therapy is that it is OK to have these times of just needing to shut down inside and not have any plans or goals. It is OK to rest emotionally and mentally. Most people understand how the body needs to sleep, but they don't realize this also applies to the heart and mind.

Do you get mad at your body for needing to sleep at night?

Try to give yourself an internal break and allow yourself to be OK with being tired inside for right now. You don't have to take any action because that isn't what needs to happen. Just do nothing. Don't try to force yourself to work through this. Just rest at this time.

[WikidPissah]

I often think my T doesn't get how badly I am doing. I have figured out that he does, he just doesn't express that concern, or I don't see it. I figured this out by emailing him and asking him if he got it. Could you email or text or phone or snail mail your T that statement, ask him if he knows you are this bad?

[granite1]

have you been able to take some time to yourself and rest.it sounds like things are so hard for you it is just draining you of all you have.i'm sorry you are so down.and i totally get how frustrated you sound about not being able to express well just how bad it is.just wondering what would you want from him if you were able to tell him

[TinaL]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

I often think my T doesn't get how badly I am doing. I have figured out that he does, he just doesn't express that concern, or I don't see it. I figured this out by emailing him and asking him if he got it. Could you email or text or phone or snail mail your T that statement, ask him if he knows you are this bad?

I was thinking about writing him and telling him and slipping it in the mail. It might just help to get the feelings out on paper. He should get it by reading it and I might feel better by writing it.

[TinaL]

Originally Posted by granite1

have you been able to take some time to yourself and rest.it sounds like things are so hard for you it is just draining you of all you have.i'm sorry you are so down.and i totally get how frustrated you sound about not being able to express well just how bad it is.just wondering what would you want from him if you were able to tell him

Good question. I guess just to validate how I feel. T already does that in a very healthy way. It gives me something to think about tho.

(((((((Tina)))))))))

It's hard when it feels like T doesn't understand just where we're at and how we're feeling. Those are the hardest times in therapy for me.

A couple of falls ago, I was SO depressed. I kept trying to tell T, but I know he didn't get it AT ALL. I finally had a session where I kept asking him "can you HEAR me? can you?!" and it was like he FINALLY got it. I almost ended up in the hospital, but managed to deal with it at home and with T.

We talked later about why he couldn't see it, and part of it was him wanting me to be okay, and that kind of clouding his vision of the "me" sitting right there in front of him.

It's worth it to keep trying. Write it down, tell him over and over, draw a picture. Ask him to tell you how HE is seeing you...maybe he does get it.

I'm sorry it's so hard right now.