[rainbow8]

I received my usual Friday email from my T in response to 3 emails I sent her since my session. She told me I'd be surprised but she wants to be sure I bring one of the emails with me so we can discuss it. She usually doesn't want to discuss my emails in the session because she wants to deal with how I am at that moment, not when I emailed her.

I asked her some questions, knowing she wasn't going to answer them via email anyway. She wrote that there was a lot of stuff to talk about in my email.

I had asked if she thought my H was depressed, and if she blamed me for being frustrated with my marriage. She said a happy marriage takes tending to regularly, or something like that. I know we don't "tend" to our marriage.

I told her my H thinks I'm in therapy just so I can feel good with someone and maybe he's right and I'm just deceiving myself that I'm progressing. I also wrote that I still want to hold her hand and can't comfort my parts but I think I've accomplished other things in therapy, and I'm getting somewhere.

I'm a little scared because she thinks it's so important to bring my email!! Maybe she thinks I'm NOT progressing. I know you guys think I am, correct? I need validation because maybe I'm in denial about my pattern. Do I seem like I'm accepting the reality of the therapeutic relationship? I think I am, but I'm not totally sure.

I know she will want to talk more about my H with me. She suggested he come with me once/month but I think he's willing to come more often than that.

[WePow]

Rainbow, it wouldn't be good to try to read T's mind. If she won't answer any other emails, then I would try to not worry too much about things in a negative way.
Just keep being honest about how you are processing through the relationships.
Each day is learning and growing. Allow it to unfold in a natural way.

Yes, you are progressing :-)

[seventyeight]

hi rainbow,

two things came to mind when i read your post:

1) she's "dealing" with two people now - both you and your husband. yes, her interaction/treatment with him is limited, but (imo) it's kind of like twice the "stuff." maybe she's feeling like it's getting to be a bit more to handle (but not in a bad way, just in an i'm-not-used-to-this kind of way), and she wants to make sure she's really handling it all the best that she possibly can.

2) it seems like your email touched on a lot of key issues, that are a) all important and b) could each be delved into much deeper. again, it seems like she wants to make sure she's helping you with everything going on, not just this or that here and there.

i doubt very seriously that she thinks you're not progressing. i don't really even see how that's possible, given the way your therapy has been going lately. if anything, it seems like she thinks that you (and your therapy) is progressing really well, and that she wants to make sure that she is keeping up.

good work!
78

[ECHOES]

rainbow, I agree. She sees some wonderful ideas in your email to talk about and wants to spend time on them with you.

[granite1]

rain one thing you need to remember is something you told me.your T is on your side!!!she is not to be feared i am sure that her wanting to discuss your e-mail is a good thing and i know that you are making progress .you work so hard on things and i am sure your T sees this also.

[rainbow_rose]

i feel in my heart that your therapist wanting to discuss you email is a good thing. before my last session, i worked hard at trying not anticipating what would happen at my next session. every time i had a thought about it that made me start to feel anxious, I'd turn it around... let that thought go and replace it with something about therapy or my therapist that made me feel good so the anxiety did not build. (I wish I had a concrete example to share but I can't remember! )

I believe as well that you are progressing. your replies to some of my threads have been so so SO helpful to me which informs me that you've done some good work in therapy.

not sure what to think? then don't think. just go and see what happens.

(I hope something I've said here helps ... I feel like I rambled on a bit )

[rainbow8]

WePow, thanks. I just needed some validation.

78, thank you. Yes, now that I think about it, my t seeing my H brought up a lot of stuff. She's heard about him, and met him briefly once, but talking with him for 1 1/2 hours is completely different!

ECHOES, thanks. But I always write a lot in my emails, and it seems important to discuss. She never asks me about any of it.

granite, thank you for your kind comments.

rainbow_rose, thank you, and yes you helped. I'm very glad that my posts to you have been helpful, too!

[lastyearisblank]

Wow! Yeah maybe she just liked something you wrote and wanted to talk about it in person!

[rainbow8]

lyib, well, she said there was a lot to talk about in my email, but there ALWAYS is! I think it may be because I asked some questions about my progress in therapy, and about my husband. I know she always reads my emails, so it's strange that she picked up on THIS one. Yeah, I guess it's important to discuss my marriage which I've been ignoring talking about all year.

[Sannah]

Sounds like you think you are in trouble?

[rainbow8]

No, Sannah I don't think I'm in trouble! I'm just curious as to why she picked on that particular email when I write a lot of heavy stuff in all of my emails. I think it's because of my H.