[MoAnamCara]

A loved one is going through an illness which will result in death in the coming months. My T knew re test results due yesterday . Said if I needed I could call or email. (Email usage for scheduling only). So the results were not good, I couldn't call as my loved one was with me so I sent a short email with the results yesterday. T is now away for a while. I heard nothing back yesterday.

Am wondering anyones take on this?

I'm feeling insignificant if that's the correct word and upset. IMHO don't offer me something to have my needs met and then disregard my reaching out.

Am unsure if I've lost the plot altogether or whether my thoughts and feelings on this are valid.

Thoughts anyone? Thanks.

[mixedup_emotions]

I am so sorry about your loved one....and that your T did not respond to your email. Remember that feelings just are. There are no right or wrong ways to feel. My T encourages me to allow myself to feel whatever I feel, be curious about the feelings and express them - so I can continue to learn about myself.

I certainly understand you feeling upset and disappointed. And how you address this with your T can be a sign of growth. I have learned so much about myself during these kinds of situations with my T - how I tend to handle them - whether I am direct or indirect - etc.

As painful as it is, try to see it as a learning experience.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by MoAnamCara

I couldn't call as my loved one was with me so I sent a short email with the results yesterday. T is now away for a while. I heard nothing back yesterday.

When she agreed that you could email her, what was said at that time? Was there an understanding that she would reply? I know that my T will not reply to messages unless I specifically request it. So, I have learned to do that when I need it.

It's weird sometimes our relationship with our T's. They know us intimately but the 'rules' are different than with friends and sometimes we expect them to act like friends when our life situation is extra painful.

Can you email or call her and tell her you'd like to talk about the feelings you're having about your loved one? Maybe she doesn't know that you want her to connect with you.

[MoAnamCara]

Thank you both for your responses, helps me to rethink my thoughts a little.

[ECHOES]

I'm sorry for what you are going through with your loved one

I can certainly understand how you're feeling about emailing and not receiving a response. It sounds like the offer was made without clarifying the expectations around it.

What about sending another email and asking for a response, or call and ask for a call back? Sometimes the therapist doesn't want to 'intrude', so they wait to be asked.

[MoAnamCara]

Thanks Echoes. T is away now for a little while so its something I'll need to sit with unfortunately.

[peaches100]

I'm so sorry about your loved one!! I can certainly understand why this is a time when you wanted contact with your t. I know how disappointing it is to email and not get a reply. It's possible that your t did not pick up their email messages before they left. Try not to assume that they don't care. There is some good explanation, even if you don't know what it is yet. Perhaps you may still hear from them.

[ladyjrnlist]

Don't even worry about why T didn't respond. You have more important concerns. Focus on yourself and your loved one. T will no doubt reply soon. Did you specify that you'd like a reply? Sometimes, people don't reply without that. I mean, I would in this situation, but what do I know?
I am sorry you are going through something so very difficult. Sending loving thoughts your way. Stay strong. You can get through this.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by MoAnamCara

Thanks Echoes. T is away now for a little while so its something I'll need to sit with unfortunately.

I was thinking possibly she had access to her text and VM messages while away.

I hope you can choose to suspend judgement while you wait to hear the reason from your T.