[mixedup_emotions]

During my session today, I told him how I felt embarrassed to have had the meltdown that I had the other day with him...

...And about how I let my mind run wild with fear - terror, actually - about my daughter being away with her father. T was very supportive.

*** POSSIBLE TRIGGER ***

I then went on to tell him about some of my "quirks" when it came to being protective of my daughter....and shared an example of when my daughter was a baby, my then-husband or I would drop her off to my parents house before going to work each morning. I would be terrified of the idea of her being forgotten and left in the car, which I'm sure is a very common fear.

So, I made it so that my then-husband and I would have to communicate when the other arrived to work to assure the other that our daughter was indeed dropped off safely.

AND, I had my mom fax me to make sure she actually received her....double safety measures.

....I chalked it up to being my crazy, neurotic self....and T told me that I'm not neurotic. I'm traumatized. And then went on to make the connection about some of my past traumas that include being trapped and alone....and how my intense reaction is a result.

WOW. I never made that connection before. But it makes sense.

We also talked about how I seem to relive my traumas through my feelings with my daughter....it triggers me, so that those common emotions are intensified.

An eye opening session....

MUE, its so great when we have these Ah Ha moments...when we finally see the reasons for some of our "over the top" behavior. Congratulations. You must be working very hard.

[skysblue]

Making the connection between current behaviors and past events must feel so so good. I'm hoping that I have that experience someday.

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

and T told me that I'm not neurotic. I'm traumatized.

This is a good insight! So often I dismiss my fears and criticize myself for them. But seeing them in a simple, accepting light makes them easier to manage. I'm glad your T helped you change your perspective on this.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Great connection and so good you could share this with your T!

[Sannah]

Good work MUE! Your fear of your daughter being left in the car was very real! When parents take turns dropping off this is when they can forget to drop off the baby. You were being a good mom by making sure that your child was safe. It happened where I lived once. The parents took turns like this and forgot one day and the baby died in the car because of the heat.

[WePow]

((((((((MUE))))))))) That makes so much sense!! Great job on this insight!