[Xeneon]

I had a really amazing T. She just got me, she didn't look at me like I wasn't fixable like that last one I had. She saw me for who I was and was willing to help me, if I allowed her too. I saw her for like 2 years and shes not allowed to see me anymore cause I moved to go to College and my age. Well I have moved back in the area but before I left, she made me promise that I wouldn't loose contact with her. Well I held up my end of the deal because I don't break promises. She gave me her cell phone number and her email. So I have emailed her and I have called her once and she finally got back to me with that one. We use to send each other emails but then all of sudden I never got email back but her last message said I'm not ignoring you so please don't think I am. I'm just super busy with the guy that just quick so I'm taking his place. So I thought I would wait to email her for awhile well I ended up email her later later but never got a email back. I have her christmas gift in my room still. Its been 3 years sense I seen her. Its going to be 4 years soon. I never thought that would of happen because she kept making me promise NOT to loose contact. She told me what we do together when I was no longer allowed to see her. When I was in high school she told me once that if something happen where I didn't have a place to live, that I could stay with her. I miss her so much. Theres not a day that I don't think about her. She made everything feel so safe. That things would be okay, even throw everything was crashing in front me. I new she had my back and if things got rough she would join the ride. I don't know if anyone has this kind of feeling with there T but when I see her I get this warm fuzzy feeling and this sense of peace. She makes me feel safe and I want all those feeling back. I want to feel that again. I don't know why she makes me feel like this but I'm really heart broken that things turned out the way it did. I think about sending her christmas gift in the mail but at the sametime. My head says do it there nothing to loose but my heart knows different because there is something to loose. The idea that I will never see her again sucks. So I think of it as just maybe one day I will see her again. I oddly want to beable to hug her for the first and last time because that would be me saying thank you and goodbye. If she would call me up to today and say sorry I haven't emailed you back or called you but do you want to go grab dinner and talk. I would do it in heart beat knowing that I might get hurt again.

Her last email to me said I'm not ignoring you but come on HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU NEED. I don't know if I should send her christmas gift and to be honest I don't know if it works still. Its been in a safe place for 3 years but I don't know. I don't break promises!!! I don't want to have to break this one. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? I know most of you are saying forget about her but I'm saying how do you forget a person that saved you. Anybody gone threw this?

Thanks for reading!!!

[Victom4ever]

Yep so sorry~hugs to u if ok...
we miss our former t so very very much!!
and want so much to call/email, and thou we are not 3000 miles away we are stiull like 375 and diff state

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Want so much to have her as our t again and call, shes the best!! and knew with her we could heal alot and we trust her totally!! Want so much to call email but so worried bout boundries and bothering her more, have put her thru more than any one should have to with a client so hard to get up courage, hurts so much, and also have much impt work left undone still have her Christmas cards and gift too~ and other thoughts for cards unsent re her mom's death...just sucks, really bad!! Totally understand~hugs

[Xeneon]

Thanks for the hugs. I'm sorry you have gone threw this. I have letters she has written to me still and christmas gift she gave me. I know it sucks and I wish it didn't.