[nicoleb2]

I was supposed to have an appointment with my T today, but she is apparently out sick. Now I have to wait until next week to see her again.

I cut on Sunday and had gotten up ther nerve to actually admit this to her.

Now, I have another week to keep thinking about it. I don't know when it's that far away if I will be able to actually tell her about the cutting... I just don't think after that long that I am going to be able to tell

[delicatefade26]

I'm sorry this has happened-that is so difficult especially when you had worked up the courage to tell her something that needs to be said but is hard to...and to think that a whole week will go by and that courage may dwindle-but I have faith in you that you can hold on to that strength and be able to talk to her about it...and also how it was difficult for you to have her miss a week...did you just find out today?!
hang in there

[nicoleb2]

I just found out that my appointment was cancelled today because my T is sick

[mixedup_emotions]

Ugh. That sux! I know that when I need to share something with T and know that I may not follow through, I email T or leave him a voicemail with whatever I need to say....so that I hold myself accountable. Is this an option for you?

Aw... I am so sorry. Thats SO hard when a T cancels!!! Especially when you have something important to say. Can you get another day this week to come in? Can you write her a note? Leave her a voicemail?
I'm really sorry. Its tough.

[Wren_]

I'm so sorry she had to cancel, especially with all of that going on. Could you get an appointment sooner than a week away?

[nicoleb2]

She is totally booked for this week, so it will have to wait. I think i am going to do a chain analysis (DBT thing) before I go there so that I have it ready. I have a lot of memory issues so by next week, I won't remember every detail

[Sannah]

Great plan!

[dizgirl2011]

Hey Nicole,

*hugs* I am so sorry this happened so unexpectantly and just when you were getting mentally prepared to go. It is SO difficult when this happens and although we feel like it shouldn't affect us that badly it often does.

I think doing a chain analysis is a really good idea.

Can you call or email your therapist during the rest of the week if she returns to work? Or is your only available contact the session itself?

**huge hugs**
Diz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[nicoleb2]

I can call or text T at any time, but I feel like it won't help. I cut again today, worse than I have before. I just feel so hopeless. I am a lost cause

[Sannah]

You are not a lost cause! Keep working!

[LacunaCoiler]

I dunno if this will help you but it seems to be helping me. My T suggested to hold ice in my hand whenever I wanna cut. And when I'm not around ice I have a rubber band around my wriste to snap. so, far I'm 3 days without cutting or self harm. I hope it helps you.

[nicoleb2]

I have tried the ice and my T doesn't want me to do the rubber band cause she thinks it'll just lead me to cutting.

I am doing much better today. No urges to cut at all

[LacunaCoiler]

Really? The rubber band seems to help a lot for me. The ice too but I'm seldom home. I'm glad to hear you are doing better. Keep it up I know it's hard.