[geez]

I have three sessions to go before I'm done with therapy.
I've been thinking about what it will be like to be 'done' and at times I feel like crying and I envision myself becoming a blubbering idiot in my last session (the needy client that misses her T ).

I've been trying to plan ahead for when I'm not in therapy anymore.

I'm planning on signing up for something to keep my mind busy during that time that I would be in therapy.

The other night I had a weird dream. I was flirting with a guy (I am married) and while I didn't act on anything I was considering it and I called T to ask what she thought I should do. I guess that means I'm going to really miss that support she gives me? In some ways I wish I could be apart of her family and I'm feeling slightly jealous of her kids etc.... I never had that feeling before of wanting to be a apart of her family. It's just something that's come about this past week. UGH!

Any thoughts?

Thank you for reading my ramblings....

((((((((geez)))))))))

First of all, it's okay to be sad in the last session. It doesn't mean you're an idiot, or needy. It means that you shared something very special with T, and you will miss it. I always try to remember that the pain wouldn't be there if there hadn't been love there...and that the love is worth it.

I'm with my first T and still in therapy, so I haven't had the experience of therapy ending. But I did take a break for about a month, and I discovered that I was more okay than I thought I would be. I carried way more of T, and his wisdom, and his caring and love inside of me than I expected. I didn't miss him in the way I thought I would...because I could feel SO much of him inside of me, and I could feel how different I was from when I started therapy.

I ended up going back because we had a big issue we hadn't dealt with yet. But I think I know now that when therapy ends it will be sad AND okay. Both.

[WePow]

Sending you TONS of hugs. I can't say what would be right for me. My method of coping is not good as it is to shut down totally. Sending you TONS and TONS and TONS of hugs! Be honest about how you feel. Don't leave thinking "I should have said xyz"

[rainbow8]

geez, I think your dream indicates how close you and your T have been and how, naturally, it's going to be hard to say good-bye. If you were part of her family, you'd never have to say good-bye at all.

If you cry at your last session, then that's what is meant to be. I would just let whatever is going to happen at these last sessions, just happen. Say what you want to. Ask your T what you want to. Don't hold back.

You will always have part of your T inside of you. My first T over 20 years ago told me that and I still do feel like I have a lot of the good feelings she gave me inside of me. They never have gone away.

Ending therapy is bittersweet but it's kind of like graduation. You are graduating with honors!

[geez]

((((Tree, Rainbow, WePow)))) Thank you for listening and giving your support. As the date gets closer I'm finding the feelings to be a bit more difficult. I have an appt on Thursday so there will be lots to talk about.

I know in time this too shall pass - it just hurts.