[growingflower]

Just wondering, if ya did, were they honest, do you like what they said? I keep saying to my T that I am crazy but he insists that I am not, yeah, right, if only I could be myself in therapy! LOL My DH once said, well he doesn't see the REAL you! Ha!

[Estee1]

No way!! I would be way too scared to ask that even though I really wonder and worry myself sick about what she thinks. I see my old t down the street occasionally and I die a thousand deaths when I think about the things that I have told her about myself. I'm so ashamed that I want the ground to swallow me up. I wish I had never told her some things. What was I thinking? OH my goodness, I'm so ashamed. I worry way too much about what the t thinks of me.

[hazeleyes]

I haven't asked her, altho she keeps telling me what she sees and says I'm this wonderful person.... ugh! Don't they say that to everyone? Afterall, if I have low self-esteem, this is one way for her to make it better, and to make me like her and trust her... I still have my doubts, because I don't like myself, and know I'm not that good person she speaks of. Sad huh? Wish I knew the truth. Of course we're all good in some ways, just some less than others :/ Wish I hadn't done and still didn't do so many bad choices ....

[kimmydawn]

I did once. He said something to the effect that he thought I was a really good person, then followed it by saying, "if I didn't, I wouldn't not be nice, but I couldn't say that I think you're a really good person as easily as I do." It was something like that...lol.

He was nice. That was the only time that I asked him. He pretty well lets me know on a regular basis that he things I'm a good person, if messed up.

It made me feel good to ask...well, his response did.

GL!

KD

Yea I did. Years ago when I was in college and was taking a class called Personal Psychology we had an assignment of bringing something to class that would discribe "Who I am". Wel I could not think of anything to bring and I also wanted to be original. Most people when the words bring in something think that is some object. I didn't have ONE object that discribed me I had many This toy this food and so on. Then I finally said ok I can put into a peom who I am and read that to the class.... Writers block coming up ... so I went to my therapist and asked her to write down what she thought of me. I also had my boss and my friends do that too. Then when I got the papaers back I tied their thought together with a sentence between each and then my view of myself in the last verse. Each of my friends and therapist and boss recieved a copy and I got an A+ for a grade. I went first during the class because I knew the long I waited I would chicken out of reading the poem and the instructor just amazed that I did that. mainly because she had never heard of anyone asking a therapist and so on what they think of the person.

As for asking my therapists in general. No I don't usually ask them. I know what they think of me by their actions ... for example last night a friend was over and we were watching tv when my therapist called AFTER working hours. (my friends all know I am in therapy and for what so I answered the phone and my therapist said that she had just read a letter I had wrote to her just before thanksgiving (it was a non emergency info letter that I had told her could wait until after the thankgiving holiday.) and she was so struck by what I am doing to help myself that she just had to call and tell me how amazed and proud of me she is. Then we made plans to bring the work I had been doing on my own discribed in the letter into my sessions.

I used to say to my past therapist that I was crazy and she said right back "I''m not crazy I just feel that way." she did this so much that I started to use that sentence and soon I was actually believing it.

[jennie]

i think they get paid to say nice things to us. how do you measure honesty in their reply???

[arli]

Yes I did ask my first T. And I think I shouldn`t .

with my experience of 19 different therapy professionals they don't ususally call on their own after hours. Usually after hours calls are in response to an emergency call from the cliet because therapy protocal is usually leave work at the office and keep home time for their private family. When one calls me on their own time just to tell me how impressed they are with me instead of waiting to tell me during the next session that tells me it isn't just a paid point of view (they don't get paid for personal time only work time). The fact that she called me last night during her perosnal time tells me I can believe she meant what she said last night and she wasnt just saying it because it was her job to do so. Besides this therapist is a bold one. She has no problem telling me her point of view about me includiung when I do something she doesn't like.

[(JD)]

IMNSPHO that's they whole idea of therapy: the T sees us as a HUMAN BEINGs struggling with issues with which they can help us. They don't see us as our DX's (like many patients see themselves.) We go to them because they have that good, actual, perspective.

[Beautiful_Pain]

I didn't ask, but Mike told me anyway. He thought I was cool and fun, pleasant to talk to and intelligent!

[jbug]

My T and I have talked about it in the past. He thinks I'm a funny intelligent person. I think if we weren't in the therapy relationship we would be friends. Sometimes I have the problem of my mind gets blurry because we do get along so well. I also had a pdoc in the hospital tell me that he doesn't tell everyone good things because if he did he'd be lying to them and he doesn't lie. We had been talking about a goal of mine to open my own business someday and I told him my idea and he thought it was really good. In fact he made me tell my dad in family therapy and I got a roll of the eyes from dad but Dr. Blevins thought it was good.

Jbug

[Hopefull]

No, I have not asked. However, we are taught in class to be honest. One can not expect to provide someone with therapy and lie. I suspect most clients including you would read right through that. It is a principle of the profession. Besides, good therapy involves helping a person see themselves in a more accurate way. Many of us will tend to see only the negative side of ourselves. So a T may point out some of our positive traits. But, as I stated above the T can not lie because that will damage the trust in the relationship. It must be an accurate statement or "we've got a problem, Houston." Remember that the next time your T says something nice to you. Sometimes a T will lie but only in very limited situations (suicide prevention, prevention of violence etc). Complementing a client is not one of those situations.
Do I always believe them? No. My last T spent a good part of the termination session complementing me to death. I doubt that I believed a single word of it. Besides, he only sees my point of view and I know that I tend to spin things to make me sound better. I know that I try to be as accurate as possible. But, I don't. I spin it and he couldn't go and talk to any of the other people involved because of the whole confidentiality thing.