Hi, I'm new here but I've been loitering for a while reading some of the other posts

T told me a couple of weeks ago that she'd be going away soon -- I heard/assumed 2 weeks, and had sort of come to terms with it, but I saw her again this week and it turns out she's going away for a whole month! (After my next session.) I've got to admit, I'm kinda freaking out.

I've been suffering really badly with depression/anxiety, and therapy is the only thing so far to make a dent in it, meds have so far had no effect (and I've tried a bunch of them.)

I've already been out of work for almost a year because it got too much to cope with. I'm eager to 'get better' and get my life back... and now it feels like it's on hold for a month. I don't know if I can make any progress on my own, and worry that I'll slip back into a darker place without my T's support...

And, I'll really miss her. I feel she's the only person who really 'get's me. She always has something interesting/insightful to say, and I enjoy our conversations.

As it is I see her once a week and even then I find myself counting down the days -- it's like, the only thing I'm doing right now that feels constructive, plus, my life is pretty empty at the moment.

A whole month without my T?! I can't even process that. When she told me I just sort of made a strangled 'haa?!' sound and tried to smile. Of course I want her to have a lovely break, but...

Is this neurotic and crazy?
(Sorry for the essay!)

[skysblue]

It's not neurotic or crazy. I think most of us would feel the same way. I know I do.

[FourRedheads]

Hi, welcome to PC!

I know, it's really hard when T's go on vacation. I'm sorry you are feeling sad. I just started seeing my T (feels weird to say 'my T') and now she's on a 3 week vacation. I'm 2 weeks in and just hanging on for next week. Post here when you need support; this is a great place!

I just had my last therapy session until she comes back. I've worked out that I actually have to wait a whole 38 days until my next session. More than 5 weeks away.

Today felt like a kind of wrap up, and she tried to advise me what I could be doing in this time.

I'm really nervous... what am I going to be like in 5 weeks time? Will I have been coping and trying to rebuild my life, or will I have slipped further into depression and despair? Will I have lost ten pounds or gained twenty? Will I have been involved in activites and social events, or sleeping in until evening every day?

Who am I gonna check in with? Who will be the voice of reason and calm in my head?

[FourRedheads]

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

Who am I gonna check in with? Who will be the voice of reason and calm in my head?

Well, for starters, you can post here!

t never even tells me when he is going on vacation. never.

it is not neurotic or crazy. do you have a support or back up system in place?

keep posting on pc!!!

[skysblue]

Didn't your T leave you with a back-up T to call if needed? My T does that when she's gone. But I had asked her for a referral so that I could see another T while she went on vacation. My T was great and referred me to one of her colleagues whom I made an appointment. It felt good to know that there was someone I could talk to during that break. It wasn't the same as seeing my own T (the babysitter will never be Mommy) but I knew it was someone I could talk to if things got bad.

[Dr.Muffin]

Originally Posted by jbmomg

t never even tells me when he is going on vacation. never.

it is not neurotic or crazy. do you have a support or back up system in place?

keep posting on pc!!!

i would be pissed if my therapist never told me when he/she was going on vacation. that's just seems mean.

[Wren_]

Who am I gonna check in with? Who will be the voice of reason and calm in my head?

As FourRedheads said ... check in here what did your T advise you to do to help you get through the next few weeks while T is on vacation

Thanks you guys, your support means a lot

No back up T, no real strategy... maybe she thinks I don't require those things, not sure. Session before last she mentioned that I could email her as she will be checking her emails - but I'd feel bad about doing that, it is after all her vacation.

I still have some CDs she gave me (hypnosis, meditation) and she says I should listen to those every day. At least I can listen to her voice and pretend like I'm sat in her office

I don't think she thinks her going away is a big deal - at the end of the session she asked me if I *want* to schedule a session for when she gets back. She always asks something along the lines of 'would you *like* to come and see me again?' as if it's not something expected or required... I don't know, maybe it's just that she doesn't want to seem like she takes me for granted as a client, maybe because she knows I don't have much money... :/

Also during the session she said something like 'I don't want to seem harsh... but we can only really get ourselves out of these holes...' Which does sound harsh, but I know that she said it caringly - I guess she wants me to take more responsibility for myself, and not rely on someone/something else for answers. Maybe it was her way of saying I can/will cope with her gone? But what if she means she can't really help me?! Waaaah, confusion...

I just feel like, these past couple of months she's been keeping me in orbit. And now I feel like I'm going to lose gravity and float away.