[emptyspace]

How many sessions do you think it takes for a T to "care?"
Clearly if the T does not know you, they can not "care".

What are signs of "caring?"

[nannypat]

It didn't take many sessions for me to recognize that my T was showing signs of caring (meeting me at the door as soon as he heard me come in, saying he was finding himself looking forward to seeing me, sharing little things about himself, telling me he wanted it to be a safe place for me, remembering little things and asking about them the following session, hearing what I was not saying, just his easy mannerisms) to name a few. The difficult part was letting myself belief and trust that he cared about me.That took me almost a year, but I had been suddenly abandoned by a previous T. Now we are good and doing trauma work I never thought I would ever tell anyone about and didn't until now and I just turned 60!.

[Wren_]

I think it would depend on what we mean by "caring". Most T's I think would "care" about any client they had from the very first session, in the general sense of having an interest in why you are there, wondering how and if they can help, wanting the best for you whether it was long term healing or working through a specific issue or something else; and wanting to provide a caring environment. Then as the relationship grows, like with any, it will grow stronger and have a deeper foundation and as they come to know us more as individuals and we get to know them better as individuals it changes and has more substance to it and we can start to experience their care at deeper levels. For some people, "care" can be very hard to recognise, receive and accept because we aren't used to it, haven't known it etc and we can also miss it by not understanding what different actions or all the little things (like nannypat described with sharing, remember etc.) can mean as far as examples of care. As far as signs some people need to hear the words "I care" to believe; some people need physical signs like hugs, touch or eye contact to believe it; some people need different actions or words to know they are cared about etc. so that complicates it also. I don't think there is a number of sessions though or a pat formula but rather it's an ever increasing relationship which hopefully grows in care and concern but should also begin there.

[laceylu]

During my 12th visit with T she reached out to me. She went over time with me. But I realized she is trying to reach out to me , but my fear maybe getting in the way.

[granite1]

i would often think how can a T care etc..and one day i asked my husband who has a way of putting things into perspective.i asked him how could i ever feel my T cares when she has only known me for such a short time about a year or so.he simply said i asked you to marry me after 1 year

[CantExplain]

My therapist cared about me for years before I could see it.

At one point she said, "I'm sad that you can't see what I'm offering."

She didn't say it, but what she was offering was love.

Well you wouldn't even know a diamond if you held it in your hand. The things you think are precious I don't understand.

[lastyearisblank]

Tigergirl has a very good list.

I know my own predilections, haha! For me, here it is, when someone doesn't care I get a very nervous panicked feeling, even in casual situations. I think you can tell when someone cares because it's the opposite. It's like disconnected, you could be anyone to them, they have a bored/ glazed look. There is a radar inside us that picks it up. If someone gives you that general comfortable feeling inside, then there's a pretty good indication right there that they care. Basically if you feel good telling them about your issues.....