I have issues with communication

So recently my therapy team REALLY really wants me to tell them how they're supposed to help me. Because as long as I've been with them (3 years) I've lacked asking them. But I have serious issues communicating certain things and processing certain things. And knowing what I need is one of those things I can't process. So I printed out a journal entry I made for them, so maybe they would understand what it was like for me.

Yesterday my nurse was upset because I didn't know how to tell her to help me. I don't know. I just don't know how. I don't know how to put it into words. It's not even something I think I can learn, I just have issues processing mind to voice. It's like a break in the chain somewhere. I'm sorry. I can't tell you how to help me. I can't. I've told them this before. Nobody believes me. It frustrates me more then it frustrates them, trust me. It literally drives me insane to not be able to communicate things or understand them myself, about what I can do to make it better. I know that things are wrong, but I can't process how to help myself or ask for help. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I don't know. I can't explain it".

I feel like if there's a linked chain from realizing things are wrong to processing what those things are, there is some missing links and the chains just hang there separate from each other. Imagine trying to put chains back together, with your hands tied behind your back. It's impossible. I've always been like this to some extent, but it's gotten much worse lately. Everyone gets so frustrated with me. My mom, the team, my dad always feels like I hate him, because I never call him to help me with stuff. I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I can't do anything about it. I've tried, immensely tried. I am more frustrated then anyone else, because it puts me on a whole other planet when communicating with others. If they can't stand dealing with it, with just me. Imagine how I feel dealing with it, with everybody. I wish they wouldn't get so frustrated with me, because I am frustrated enough with it. I am tired of being so alone and getting frustrated with me only puts more wedges in the few relationships I have.

And she answered it "Well this is great, but this doesn't tell us how were supposed to help you?"

I don't know! Every time we sit down together to make up lists of what exactly they are supposed to be doing it turns into two people being frustrated and I walk away crying.

I can't even communicate that I can't communicate correctly. Can anyone bounce some ideas up in the air about how to at least communicate that much?

Does anyone here even understand me? I thought that if people who have dealt with similar stuff, might understand what I'm saying and help me bridge the gap between someone who's mentally ill and someone who's trying to understand? Because I'm doing a terrible job at it.

If this is really a processing issue for you rather than a psychological issue, have you considered being evaluated by a speech therapist? They are about more than speech defects; they also deal with communication and comprehension issues dealing with speech. Might be a possibility.

I don't know much about speech therapy, but I think for me it's more like processing it even so I can understand it. I could make it from thoughts to voice, if thoughts even made sense?

I'm not making sense... I know it.

I don't know this is getting so much worse, and I'm so distressed over it.

Hi Lydia...

Please forgive me if I don't understand...I'm trying really hard...
You seem to communicate really well what the problem is in terms of not being able to communicate and use a great image of the broken chain.

So you CAN communicate very well..at least in written form...(I'm much better at writing as well.)

But everyone seems to be asking you "How do you want me to help you?" which is a whole another 3 steps down in the thinking process..

So, let's try going back in the reasoning and write down first..
What is the basic problem...what hurts..what is the need...then STOP..
(Don't think about what they are going to do or any solution stuff...just...what do YOU NEED...)
That's all.

something like maybe:...I am afraid, I need patience, I need love, I need help with anxiety, I need help with frustrated feeling about this...or that issue.., I need help solving this specific problem, I need help communicating feelings or emotions, I need a list of emotions to pick from, I need writing assignments or specific questions to answer to help me communicate, I need very specific topics to discuss, I need you to break things down into little pieces for me to discuss one at a time...I don't know how to talk about this subject or that..I want (??) Whatever!!

THEN... Take the list and tell them...NOW please help me brain storm some ways to get my need met and help me write the ways down and look at which ones I like that might work best for ME. Only do ONE need at a time.

Something in my gut tells me that you are racing ahead with each problem through possible solutions to possible outcomes and problems with the outcomes, and discounting them or putting them aside and not seeing things. And then getting frustrated and feeling like there are no real answers and too many possibilities. Then it winds around and gets confused and by then you are so upset that it has all become a jumble and you don't know what to say at all...but they keep Asking and you are even more frustrated.... and then it becomes personal because you feel their hurt and frustration and is mixed up with the relationships...... and it is out of control.

This is just an idea..just a little theory of what might be going on...I've seen it before...it's no big deal and easily worked out....I help my friend by putting it down on paper in certain ways and directing his thinking back to the original question and not letting him go off on tangents and possibilities... It just is a thinking/conceptualizing problem, and we use tools to help...mostly a paper and pen or some diagrams.

If I'm wrong...throw this post AWAY and ignore it. I just hoped this might help a little maybe..if I understood...

Best wishes in your healing and getting what you need from the people who obviously love and care about you very much indeed.

Safe hugs!!

Wysteria Blue

Can you draw a picture or make a collage? How do you experience it in your head? Sounds, smells, pictures, words, tastes, feels? If you can figure out how it works in your brain then you can figure out how to get it out of your head and/or translate it into something others can understand.

So, let's try going back in the reasoning and write down first..
What is the basic problem...what hurts..what is the need...then STOP..
(Don't think about what they are going to do or any solution stuff...just...what do YOU NEED...)
That's all.

Okay

Step 1: What is the basic problem?

That's where I get stuck. I don't know the basic problem. Maybe I can answer. How do I know that I am sick or don't feel well?
I know because I am not like everybody else. Because I get irritable a lot and when I'm not medicated I have voices that tell me horrible stuff. I know because I get afraid a lot, of things I shouldn't be afraid of. I am not socially the same as everyone else, either. I noticed lately, especially when I was in the hospital, that I didn't do general hygiene like everyone else. I don't know when or I just don't care when to brush my teeth, take showers, wash my dishes, do laundry.

So in basic the voices are gone. But I am still afraid a lot. I need help with not feeling afraid. I need help with socialization. I need help with general hygiene, but it's an embarrassing subject for me. Maybe like a calendar of basic hygiene things, that I could check off everyday for and be held accountable for. Like do laundry this day, showering every day, brushing my teeth twice a day, and then house cleaning. Sweeping, dusting, mopping, vacuuming, dishes on certain days. And having accountability for those things...

And then maybe a journal of everything I fear and have others tell me whether it's logical or not.

Like

January 15th 2012

6:50 pm- Someone told me I had pretty eyes. I think they are going to hurt me. I am leaving the grocery store.

7:30 pm- A car is following me. I think they will hurt me.

8:30 pm- My dog has a worried look in her eyes. I think she knows something bad will happen.

And then maybe a calendar of social events? I think I'm getting somewhere....

I have done this before, it's very effective for me.

I Can Do It! A Micropedia of Living on Your Own
This engaging, easy to use resource can be used by older youth to guide them through most topics pertaining to living on their own, including budgeting, housing, daily living and relationships. For self-teaching or group teaching.

Download Full Version (Free)
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I think this is the full version... my computer is having issues... I used it for a LONG time... and if you took a look at my houe you might suggest I dig my copy back out
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Wow Omers thank you so much that's a really big help!!!

I'm going to use that too Omers!

Lydia, I really like your post #6. Are you going to share this with your team?