[yang0868]

T asked me in session yesterday how I survived the tragic event that brought me to therapy. I told her "By supressing it. I know it's was not and is not a healthy way to cope with it but everytime I cried about it, I got yelled at to "drop the act" or "stop it" so I supressed it." I think was basically saying that to keep moving on, I bottled up my emotions. My family did it and I followed suit.

I don't think T was looking for that answer though. IKD. I wonder if there's some deeper meaning or emotion that T wanted me to recognize? So I wonder how would you guys answer the question "How did you survive what happended to you?" What comes to your mind?

[SophiaG]

What comes to mind is this:

I denied it.

I closed myself off from people.

I wrote about it.

[granite1]

i did whatever i could at the time .standing still,not opening my mouth.hiding,when i couldnt physically deal i would hide in this awsome world of support that i created in my head at a very young age.i was good at it.and never ever show emotion

[mixedup_emotions]

My T was the one who pointed out to me how I did what I needed to in order to endure it....but how I've carried those strategies with me...and now they are antiquated. Dissociation, shutting down, numbing, suppressing - are all ways that I coped in the past - and now it's time to do something different. *sigh*

[FourRedheads]

Being very quiet, very still. Keeping it all bottled up inside, shoved so far down I can't feel it. Keeping a safe distance from people.

This thread makes me sad.

[mcl6136]

I worked myself to the bone for many years. Achieved "success."

And then, there came a day when I could do this no longer and I got help.

Initially, I did this because I was in a relationship that was broken, but as I pulled the layers off, I saw.....ME.

So...therapy was the answer. that, and yoga, horses, friends, nature, dogs, friends, and more therapy.

But initially, I suppressed it, and worked. I still over-work from time to time, but not as much, and I have a feeling that I will be in and out of therapy for the rest of my life.

Yes, this thread makes me sad. But it's better than being NUMB...at least most of the time!

Gotta love repression and denial as great, creative short term (even if for many years in childhood) coping strategies.

Eventually these tend to come back to bite you in the @ss. Or at least they did me.

In childhood, I focused on what I could control and where I felt safe and secure-- in school, in books, in sports, in music performance, and later on in childhood, I basically did anything that would get me the heck out of the house. I was overscheduled and Type A then, and all throughout college and law school. I studied hard and worked hard and found incredible satisfaction in that. I had friends and lovers but I really only discussed ideas with people, maybe some superficial personal experiences, and certainly never any of the real truth about my family and my emotional life? Nonexistent.

Once I was secure in my life, in my late 20's, I started therapy and I started to reclaim back those parts of myself that had been lost to repression and denial. Still a work in progress.

Anne

[mcl6136]

consider my a@@ bitten!

[nannypat]

I worked at making everybody ok or happy, an unending task.I also worked,school anything so that I wouldn't upset anyone. Trying to be everything to everybody and faulting myself when things didn't go right.

Ya, now in therapy trying to figure who I am and what makes me ok.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by yang0868

I don't think T was looking for that answer though. IKD. I wonder if there's some deeper meaning or emotion that T wanted me to recognize? So I wonder how would you guys answer the question "How did you survive what happended to you?" What comes to your mind?

Anger, hate and denial.

[learning1]

Eating, books, studying, staying away from people when I had the choice, being nice, crying, imagining suicide, being in my head