[WantingtoHeal]

I met with Pdoc today and it went pretty well, I think. Got some changes to my meds that hopefully will be good. He kept me overtime so it went into my time with my counselor.

I met with her after having given her a letter last week about my childhood anger/attachment/wanting to be adopted by her sort of thing. I thought she'd get it. I'm not sure if she did or not. I was really confused today. She did say that I needed reparenting within the therapeutic relationship, so I don't know.

She asked me about who in my life nurtured me, how did I know how to be a mother, or something like that. I was trying to figure out who had nurtured me...couldn't think of anyone except teachers. Personally, I think I was just born with the ability to nurture my own child.

Then, she said that there was something that I was trying to tell them that they're not getting (and apparently I'm telling them that they're not getting it ), something I'm in deep pain about and to help her to understand.

Well, I thought it was the whole attachment thing which I wrote the letter about! Did she get that or did it go over her head? I tried to say it again, but as usual had trouble being direct. Or maybe she's taking me to a deeper level about this than I'm getting. Maybe I just need to say, I love you!

I've tried numerous times to bring the topic up and she seems to go to either a different topic or a different level than what I'm expecting. I don't know. I am sooo confused after today. Maybe she needs me to be totally direct, which I so don't want to do.

To make matters worse, I lost track of time and picked up my daughter an hour late after school making her miss a scheduled appt. She was furious with me.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by WantingtoHeal

Maybe I just need to say, I love you!

Could be.