[ariatboot]

So really long story short I last saw my T on Nov 17th and I wont see him again until the 15th of this month. I usually see him once a week (depending on whats going on in my life) The reason for the long absence is because I am going to a bunch of other doctors appointments. By other doctors appointments I mean I am being tested for cancer. He told me that if I needed him to not hesitate and call and I did but I haven't heard back from him.

My T told me in my last appointment that he is extremely busy during this time of the year and I understand that. There have been times when I have taken up a lot of his time and attention; like calling during a crisis and causing him to have to cancel on his clients who are already in the office waiting for their appointments or going over on sessions and making him late for his next client-so I get that other clients may need his attention more then I do right now.

BUT I am totally freaking out right now about possibly having cancer on top of my other mental health issues and waiting for a phone call since Friday is really stressing me out. How long should I wait until I call him back and leave another message? Usually I would have called again by now but because he is so busy this time of year I feel like I am undeserving of his time right now.

Any advice?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by ariatboot

So really long story short I last saw my T on Nov 17th and I wont see him again until the 15th of this month. I usually see him once a week (depending on whats going on in my life) The reason for the long absence is because I am going to a bunch of other doctors appointments. By other doctors appointments I mean I am being tested for cancer. He told me that if I needed him to not hesitate and call and I did but I haven't heard back from him.

My T told me in my last appointment that he is extremely busy during this time of the year and I understand that. There have been times when I have taken up a lot of his time and attention; like calling during a crisis and causing him to have to cancel on his clients who are already in the office waiting for their appointments or going over on sessions and making him late for his next client-so I get that other clients may need his attention more then I do right now.

BUT I am totally freaking out right now about possibly having cancer on top of my other mental health issues and waiting for a phone call since Friday is really stressing me out. How long should I wait until I call him back and leave another message? Usually I would have called again by now but because he is so busy this time of year I feel like I am undeserving of his time right now.

Any advice?

my treatment providers tell me "if you feel something isnt right or feel you need to call do so any time" so I do. if I am freaking about about anything no matter how big or small it is, I call, and keep calling until I talk with my treatment providers.

[roads]

I'd call right away. I'd say I understand that he might not have time to talk right away, but could he maybe let me know how long it might be? Or make an appt to call? Then at least you'd have a timetable in mind.

That would help me. Would it help you?

[WePow]

Call him back. Let him know you need him. In the words of my T "It is NEVER wrong to ask for what you need."

[CantExplain]

There are times when you need to call and this is definitely one of them.

If you called and haven't heard back, he may not have gotten the message. That happened to me once. I called and left a message and it was several days later before my T called me, somewhat frantic that he hadn't gotten the message and really worried (because I NEVER called at that point in time). I was okay and had handled the situation, but he told me actually felt sick when he finally got the message and saw the date on it. So, call back!

Last month I had a bre@st biopsy and my T knew that it was pretty stressful for me, both anticipating the procedure and thinking about the possible results. I called and left a message with the receptionist for him and he didn't return it (the day of the biopsy). Three days later I called his cell phone directly and asked why he hadn't returned my call. He never got the message--the receptionist was a substitute, and apparently she lacked some skills. He was very apologetic about it, and assured me that he would have called me right back if he had known, and was in fact anticipating that I would call him.

I wish I had called again (or called his cell phone directly, which he had given me for weekend use). But I survived it and I am healthy and now it's just all in the past. But if I had to do it over again, I would have reached out again.

Anne

Oh definitely call back. He probably didn't get the message, or he got it and it got shuffled and lost. It happens.

Hopefully all your tests will come out clear. I've been through testing scares several times over the years. Try to keep a clear head about you and wait for the definitive results.

[ariatboot]

So my T finally got back to me after over 2 weeks of waiting. He texted me and asked if I was ok and wondered if there was anything I needed and he was sorry for the long delay. The ladies that work up front didn't give him the message that I had called. BUT now I am in another tight spot. He texted me off his personal number and said to call/text him if I ever needed him again and to just bypass his office.

I feel like this is a bad piece of information for me to have because what if I abuse it and start to over text/call him and it gets out of control? I dont think I will use it when I am ok but when things are going bad I may get out of control. I am really concerned about this because I feel like he trusted me enough to give me his personal number and I dont want to abuse it. It feels like a privlage to know this information.

Would it be best just to delete his number and avoid potentially bombarding him with texts on his personal phone when I am not doing well?

[mixedup_emotions]

I'm glad your T got back to you....and I think this is a wonderful thing to explore with your T....Share your concern, and perhaps you can both work on putting together some kind of boundary that works for both of you!

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by ariatboot

He texted me off his personal number and said to call/text him if I ever needed him again and to just bypass his office.

I feel like this is a bad piece of information for me to have because what if I abuse it and start to over text/call him and it gets out of control?

Would it be best just to delete his number and avoid potentially bombarding him with texts on his personal phone when I am not doing well?

I would talk with him about it on the 15th. My T is that way with her email address. When she was out (with chemo treatments for cancer coincidentally), I had a crisis and drunk emailed her repeatedly. We had not discussed boundaries for it and she politely cut me off. We've now discussed it and she said emailing should be okay as long as I didn't expect her to reply. She said if I ever emailed too much, she would politely cut me off again; not because she would be mad at me, pissed off, think I'm crazy, etc; ONLY because she cannot do counseling by email. It sounds like your T is a reasonable fellow and the two of you could work things out. Talking about boundaries is always a good thing!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by ariatboot

I feel like this is a bad piece of information for me to have because what if I abuse it and start to over text/call him and it gets out of control? I dont think I will use it when I am ok but when things are going bad I may get out of control. I am really concerned about this because I feel like he trusted me enough to give me his personal number and I dont want to abuse it. It feels like a privlage to know this information.

Would it be best just to delete his number and avoid potentially bombarding him with texts on his personal phone when I am not doing well?

Keep that number. To delete it would be to dishonour his generosity.

You won't abuse it if you chose not to.

ariatboot, I would definitely NOT delete his number, in particular because you now KNOW that his office staff is unreliable about giving him messages. Talk to him about your concerns, and maybe you two can create guidelines about how often is too often.