[SoupDragon]

I have been reading about resistance (The Psychotherapy Maze, Ehrenberg) and it says that when clients are intimidated about discussing shortcomings in therapy openly with their therapists and instead try to clarify such problems with friends, this can be labelled resistance.

I think a lot of us use this place to ask such questions and wondered if this is resistance. Also therefore whether posting questions on here is helpful or not helpful to the therapeutic relationship with T?

[mixedup_emotions]

I believe it's helpful to have a somewhat anonymous outlet to help us gain the strength to do the work we need to in therapy. I am super resistant in therapy, and I am so grateful for this site as it has helped me overcome some significant barriers.

I don't believe that reaching out to friends can help us with our journey...it cannot take the place of what happens in therapy.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

I believe it's helpful to have a somewhat anonymous outlet to help us gain the strength to do the work we need to in therapy. I am super resistant in therapy, and I am so grateful for this site as it has helped me overcome some significant barriers.

I don't believe that reaching out to friends can help us with our journey...it cannot take the place of what happens in therapy.

I agree with you MUE. Friendship cannot replace therapy. However, it is great to have a place to bounce ideas off people who are going through the same thing you are. This way, we don't feel so alone in our journeys.

[unaluna]

I think you can use PC productively in therapy, or use it in the service of resistance. If you relieve therapeutic tension here, it's more likely resistance? I take pretty much everything I do here to T, if not immediately, then eventually, in some way. At least that's my mindset.

[eskielover]

Interesting concept.....therapy resistance......hmmmmmm.

I was in therapy for.....well, over 10 years.......every T I went to did nothing but sit there I listen to me yap & yap.......

It wasn't until I moved 2100 miles away & found a community care center (something that I never would have even considered doing in California), I came across a T that actually gave feedback & there was a real communicating relationship that existed. Scared me to death to start with & she commented after the first year that it was interesting how I was so resistant to accepting her comments & input to start with. She thought it would be good for me to get involved in the DBT group......oh my gosh......what a different type of learning therapy it is all about learning not only the skills to get me through the difficult times (some of which I was actually already using but didn't know I was....but now I have a term for what I do) & the ways to think through & resolve the issues that do come up & know that it's ok if I can't resolve them at that point....just keep working on things or come to the point where we have to accept that things are what they are.

Have been going to the DBT for almost a year now with a several month lay off when I didn't have the money to go & they ended up waving the fee so I could get back into the group.....never had anyone care enough to do anything like that before in my life either.

I truly think that my resistance had a lot to do with the kind of therapy I was receiving & that it wasn't something that really worked for me....or any of the others in our group either.....we all grumbled about past therapy & what a waste it had been until now.....it's all starting to make sense. Most of us deal with depression, anxiety, & several with bipolar......so none of us are the BPD that DBT was originally designed for....just proves that it's really common sense skills & abilities that we all needed to learn while growing up but there was a short circuit there & the skills never developed.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Also therefore whether posting questions on here is helpful or not helpful to the therapeutic relationship with T?

It might or might not be helpful to therapy without affecting the therapeutic relationship at all. Like if I am scared to go visit my evil uncle but get a lot of support here to do it, and I do it with success, then that is something that I didn't have to work on in therapy. So yes, the help I got here did "interfere" with what we did in therapy. But getting that support and solving a problem here didn't harm my relationship with my therapist. Also, therapists are always after us to to develop outside resources so I would think in some cases they would be glad if we got help with our problems from family and friends. Probably each person is a very individual case and what might be "resistance" for one person would be "getting help from friends" for others. Sometimes you can make things appear more or less positive by how you frame it. If someone wants to frame their interactions here on PC as resistance, then maybe there is some truth in that for them. I don't post about the super hard stuff here on PC so I don't get a sense of "relief" from posting as I do when I divulge to my T, so it doesn't alter what I do in therapy in that sense. But sometimes posting here and reading everyone's responses really does help me process, which I probably would have done outside of therapy anyway, through journaling, etc. I find PC very helpful and supportive. Interesting question!

[CantExplain]

I see my T once a week and I'm not allowed to contact her. I need all the support I can get. It's not therapeutic to lose my sleep, my job or my marriage.

I do it with T and with ceetain friends and here. I think if your talking about things anywhere then you are showing awareness not resistance and whose to say all clients feel safe with therapists? What if a client has a therapist that's really not up to their job, a client will feel that and find it hard to find the trust. So laballing something as "resistance" could be resistance initself

[WePow]

My T said PC is part of the therapy process. It is kinda like group therapy.
It gives us a chance to process through things with others. Sometimes those things are our resistance to therapy. Sometimes they are our triumphs :-)

[beautiful.mess]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I see my T once a week and I'm not allowed to contact her. I need all the support I can get. It's not therapeutic to lose my sleep, my job or my marriage.

Same here.

[Dr.Muffin]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I have been reading about resistance (The Psychotherapy Maze, Ehrenberg) and it says that when clients are intimidated about discussing shortcomings in therapy openly with their therapists and instead try to clarify such problems with friends, this can be labelled resistance.

I think a lot of us use this place to ask such questions and wondered if this is resistance. Also therefore whether posting questions on here is helpful or not helpful to the therapeutic relationship with T?

i think it can be considered a form of resistance, but i am of the mind that whether there is resistance is less important than why there is resistance. i think that discussing with your therapist that you feel awkward or whatever you feel, talking about certain subjects (even while still not talking about those subjects!) is a really useful thing to do.

i think that sometimes in therapy, the process is more important in the content.

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I have been reading about resistance (The Psychotherapy Maze, Ehrenberg) and it says that when clients are intimidated about discussing shortcomings in therapy openly with their therapists and instead try to clarify such problems with friends, this can be labelled resistance.

I think a lot of us use this place to ask such questions and wondered if this is resistance. Also therefore whether posting questions on here is helpful or not helpful to the therapeutic relationship with T?

I do have some regrets about how I handled things in the therapy process. I have a friend who is was a psychology major in school but never got her masters and she is very good at listening and is very non judgemental. I had a lot of trust issues and a lot of "non s__ual" transference with my T. I would talk to my friend about it instead of talking to T. My T. uses psychodynamic therapy and I think it really hindered our relationship and created problems when my friend and T would disagree. I don't know that I would label it resistance but I do label it a big mistake on my part.

The difference I see in my issue with my friend and seeking advice/input from my PC friends is that I listened to you all based on your experiences and most everyone adviced us to talk to your T. about that. Shared experiences where you did just that and gave me the support that I needed to do that. So I guess with anything else in life... posting issues and problems on PC can be good or bad depending on what you do with the responses..

[Perna]

Originally Posted by hankster

I think you can use PC productively in therapy, or use it in the service of resistance. If you relieve therapeutic tension here, it's more likely resistance? I take pretty much everything I do here to T, if not immediately, then eventually, in some way. At least that's my mindset.

Yes, I agree with and take this approach too.

[stopdog]

Is resistance (a label I really dislike) wrong? I think resistance can be quite healthy in terms of a sense of self and self preservation.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Is resistance (a label I really dislike) wrong? I think resistance can be quite healthy in terms of a sense of self and self preservation.

I'm even now not really sure what resistance is. Is it finding it diffcult to talk about things with T? If so if we didn't show resistance, therapy would be over and done with in about 3 hours ....................now there's a thought

[crazycanbegood]

though i rarely seek help with my issues here, it is helpful to me to see others going through the process, learning from their mistakes and successes, and gaining insight to how i might feel or respond to situations similarly. i don't discuss PC at all in therapy, and my T does not know I come here. Still, I do not think it has interfered with my therapy at all. if anything, PC has progressed it.

[Dr.Muffin]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I'm even now not really sure what resistance is. Is it finding it diffcult to talk about things with T? If so if we didn't show resistance, therapy would be over and done with in about 3 hours ....................now there's a thought

i think that resistance, like most everything else, is useful information in the therapeutic work. i wouldnt say its "bad" per se...

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think resistance can be quite healthy in terms of a sense of self and self preservation.

I agree. It's self protection and one has developed that for a reason. I think encountering "resistance" like this helps clue the therapist in to what are sensitive issues for the client, and signals to the therapist to move carefully and gently.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

I do have some regrets about how I handled things in the therapy process. I have a friend who is was a psychology major in school but never got her masters and she is very good at listening and is very non judgemental. I had a lot of trust issues and a lot of "non s__ual" transference with my T. I would talk to my friend about it instead of talking to T. My T. uses psychodynamic therapy and I think it really hindered our relationship and created problems when my friend and T would disagree. I don't know that I would label it resistance but I do label it a big mistake on my part.

The difference I see in my issue with my friend and seeking advice/input from my PC friends is that I listened to you all based on your experiences and most everyone adviced us to talk to your T. about that. Shared experiences where you did just that and gave me the support that I needed to do that. So I guess with anything else in life... posting issues and problems on PC can be good or bad depending on what you do with the responses..

As I understand it, resistance is like feelings - it just happens. In particular, you are allowed to resist and shouldn't feel guilty about it.

It is T's job to win your trust. You don't have to give it if it doesn't come naturally.

[beauflow]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I have been reading about resistance (The Psychotherapy Maze, Ehrenberg) and it says that when clients are intimidated about discussing shortcomings in therapy openly with their therapists and instead try to clarify such problems with friends, this can be labelled resistance.

I think a lot of us use this place to ask such questions and wondered if this is resistance. Also therefore whether posting questions on here is helpful or not helpful to the therapeutic relationship with T?

Know I am little late as usual with things that have a huge line of posts- but ya know I don't see how posting on PC resistance for therapy as many have mentioned.

As far as the friends- I saw one post that a friend has some back ground in therapy- which I can see how that is helpful

But to be honest- IMHO-- Friends can be part of a therapeutic experience as well- what i mean by that is-- You go out with some friends and jabber about life-- you find that they are similar with some struggles = that is normal.. you are not just an odd duck out there in your own boat.
Not only that, but to sit around and BS about stuff- that in it self can be partially therapeutic due it for a moment glance gives you a break- I have done this at work when stressed, on a break go down and bs with some people rather than sat by myself and wallow in my sorrows.. ya know I find they either 1) feel the same way or 2) are having a similar issue if I bring up what has been bothering- and 3) we usually come to some joking thing about it due to we can't do much with work stuff- we are not a manger, and it is not grounds to take it up higher or it is already issues brought up in the past to the higher powers. AKA It is out of our control (Do you realize almost every session i get told to remind myself that--- just talking with some co-workers can confirm what T tells me)


Not to say that this replaces that deep down, issue grabbing, items that we bring to T..

And as PC-- some of it I see as a trail bases before going and talking to T-- If I can say it on here to a few fellow members, maybe I can talk with T more calmly about it when time comes.

NOW i must say I can see how-- Dear T i need to say something to you but can't-- CAN lead to resistance IMHO; HOWEVER I can see it also with a trail bases as well- you have wrote it down some where...

As far as PC goes- I have told about it to T and the 2 Pdocs i have seen so far- I never get told some things of such that it is "bad" in a sense- if I remember at one time, i was told that this was a good idea due to it is support from others.

I can see how one can use PC to help figure out/Resolve an issue as well for some-- I understand that many may not agree- but if you post an issue to which you are having issues with, you get some insight from others on here, and you have something click in your head to do something that may helps in the end---This would be like even Reading on some self Help issues that may help you get in the right direction on coping--

I do agree that some issues need to be brought up with your T; especially if you do not get a "grip on them" as i like to say- please do not misunderstand me on that. T and Pdocs have the years of training, hands on experience, and education- however to gain a little of the education, and experience for oneself is not a "bad" thing either- I actually see that as one getting better to be honest IMO-- and sadly to say but not all in the profession of psychology are not wonders at handling ALL patients as well- I have already ran into that with one Pdoc- and as the 2nd Pdoc said- with some of my Dx's it really matters how I am talked to with some things for it triggers some things for me-(thus I stop seeing them)... it is something for one to learn through time in such a profession- I don't think any amount of schooling/education can really put over the experience that one would have in the field. And I think as a human in general that goes the same with resolving issues.

further more- a lot of the ideals of "keep trying", "it could be worse", and so one with life--- Even though my dad was a meany at times, we talked on things like this as he got older -- which are very similar if not the same of what my T and i talk on and my boyfriend and I talk on-- some things are life, some things you just have to run with, and some things you do need a shoulder to cry on and to be told what you already know---

I will further more say that at least with my little time with my T-- she has on some subjects given me more insight and some direction on things which have elaborated with what either 1) already was doing or 2) trying things in a new light-- As a teen i learned from a friend of writing letters-- i have wrote letters for years-- but T directed me on day on my letter writing-- which was my mom- T gave me direction (said to write what did i need as a child, and what i learned- instead of ranting in ways).... I did so- and I must say it has helped with calming down that demon in me a ways with her- not fully but i never wrote what I had learned- which brings in the new light of perspective.

I am sorry- this is not a rant- and i hope it is not seen that way- I just trying to spill my thoughts out there.

Be well all-

Remember the most important goal in therapy is for one to cope- to better themselves and to keep moving on and growing....

I know that some will be always in therapy- however, as I was hoping-- maybe not all my life, I am expecting to get a grip on some of my things, and struggles-- I just need a little help-- and wherever I may get that help, let it be blessed!

[unaluna]

(((((beauflow)))))