[dismantle.repair]

Here's the thing. I haven't seen T since late October. And I won't again till maybe late January, early February. (Blame the system, not T... or me)
I always made appointments then and there because I knew if I stopped, I'd be very hesitant to restart.
Now that I've had this rather long break, I just... don't want to go back. It's tiring. I know I need to talk things through, I do, really.
I know I'm just making excuses... so why am I so afraid?

[WePow]

(((((((((DR))))))))))) I am sorry you are not able to see your T as often as you need to see your T. It is hard to stop going and try to re-start. I did that with my college T and could not make it work after being away for 10 months.
I don't think you are making excuses. It just sounds like there is fear there about the situation. It makes sense. Therapy is showing our soul to another person.
How can you do that if you know that the situation may change where you don't have access to that other person when you need them?

I encourage you to go back at least once and talk this over with your T. You deserve to have the help you need. Perhaps T can help you find a way to win in this system?