[skysblue]

Does it ever happen that you get confused about your goals? That you're not sure that your goals are valid or necessary anymore? That maybe they need adjusting?

[rainbow_rose]

i think revisiting / adjusting goals is a very natural thing to happen, esp. as we progress through the therapy process.

[learning1]

I don't like talking about goals in therapy because it reminds me of the first several times I went to therapists and they believed in having the client list out goals and then coming up with one by one, concrete steps to achieve them. It was very over-simplistic and it wasn't what I wanted at all and it was frustrating. I respect why having goals could work well with a lot of people (not over-simplified goals like that), but I'm glad my t doesn't talk about goals.

Today T asked why I come to therapy and I said to get rid of depression. That's all I've ever said about goals and he hasn't ever asked me for anything else. He occasionally articulates another one and I usually agree. But we don't keep a list of them or anything. It's always a nice surprise to me when he remembers anything because he seems so scattered and nonlinear, so I don't know if he would remember when he's brought one up. I'm sure I don't always remember either. Today it was "how I get along with other people." Kind of an obvious goal. Probably more worth remembering if I had disagreed I guess. Another one I remember him asking me about was whether I wanted to express my feelings more.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by skysblue

Does it ever happen that you get confused about your goals? That you're not sure that your goals are valid or necessary anymore? That maybe they need adjusting?

my insurance requires forms to be filled out before they pay for my therapy. they are done on a three month basis. that means every three months my therapist and I have to fill out papers that state the basis stuff -name.....diagnosis...treatment plan.

during the filling out of these papers we go through my goals and decide whether the goals need adjusting, have been completed and any new ones we want to add.

maybe you can set something like this up with your therapist.. all you need to do is tell them you would like your goals wrote out and periodically you would like to have a session where you review, adjust and add new goals.

My T and I actually have never talked about goals. I think we just have an understanding of why I'm there and what I need and just work rather informally that way.

That said, I know that what we work on in therapy kind of goes through natural changes as time progresses. I would think readjusting therapy goals would be a natural and important aspect of therapy, whether informally or formally. I mean, hopefully we make progress over time so that old goals become, if not obsolete, perhaps less of a focus, while new insights make us aware of areas that need to be worked on.

[sunrise]

As I've grown and changed in therapy, my goals have changed too. I uncovered all sorts of stuff to work on that I never knew were problems for me. I think it is quite natural to change and add goals, skysblue.

Trigger warning for my discussion of my previous sui thoughts.

My goal in therapy initially was just to get through a day where NOT killing myself was SUCH a big accomplishment. I kept a mental list of things I had done right each day, and I wanted "I didn't kill myself today" to NOT be on that list anymore. I wanted it to just be normal and expected that I got through the day. Once the darkest, blackest depression was over, my dad had his first heart attack, and we transitioned to dealing with a lot of the childhood abuse stuff. We haven't really articulated a goal, because my T keeps rejecting (in a nice way) my stated goal of "I don't want to want anything."

We discussed goals a few times and i think she wrote some down....but all I can ever say is "to be happy" and that is apparently too broad....what are some goals that ya'll have maybe I can borrow a few that will work for me. I can't even decide what to eat at a restaurant when the menu is too big...let alone pick out what I wanna fix about me....the mess is too big

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by skysblue

Does it ever happen that you get confused about your goals? That you're not sure that your goals are valid or necessary anymore? That maybe they need adjusting?

Perhaps the hardest thing for me to accept in therapy was the fact that it it is not goal directed.