[mcl6136]

This week I had an intense session and called my T for a followup appt because some of the issues raised were HUGE.

I talked about my problems with money. I've never talked about them before, and even posting about this here freaks me out because I wonder if T reads this board and would know it was me.

I realized: my father withheld money from me for an education that my siblings did received because I went against the tide and refused to study the "proper" subjects. My mother, on the other hand, rewarded me with money in sneaky ways (secret shopping trips, etc). And the chaos that these two parenting styles had on me, financially, is something that I'm still living with today. Let's just say I'm not exactly Suze Ormand...My career in the non-profit realm (!) and my habit of enabling freeloading friends (!) are all patterns that I wanted to examine.

Lots of people like to talk about sex in therapy; i wanted to talk about money.

But my t had no time to schedule another appointment.

So I figured this all out on my own.

There are times when I wonder whether I need this expensive, costly, financially ruinous therapy or not.

I feel really weird thinking about going into therapy next week and reporting on my great find. I did it on my own, and that feels weird, lonely, disorienting.....scary, empowering....IMMENSE.

[roads]

I always do a kind of mental double take & laugh a bit when I catch myself thinking that I've done something on my own.

Right. "My own" includes 65 yrs of learning from others, a BA, a PhD, dozens of workshops & short courses, hundreds of books I've read, etcetcetc.

Still, I have processed it all ... Right?

Yeah. I know what you mean.

[geez]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I talked about my problems with money. I've never talked about them before, and even posting about this here freaks me out because I wonder if T reads this board and would know it was me.


Lots of people like to talk about sex in therapy; i wanted to talk about money.

There are times when I wonder whether I need this expensive, costly, financially ruinous therapy or not.

It is great you figured this out on your own! Based on your post money seems to be a huge topic for you and I'm sure it represents allot for you. It's interesting that the subject of money that you are discussing in therapy is being weighed with the actual value of therapy (is it financially worth it for you sounds like the question). I think that therapy helps us eventually to be able to do the work on our own outside of the therapy room.. to me that is the success of therapy.

I hope what I wrote makes sense And wish you the best. Congratulations!

[mcl6136]

thank you...I was feeling shaky about this yesterday but feel stronger today. Yes, I think we need to export the lessons out of the office.

However, another part of me thinks ....eeeek!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

So I figured this all out on my own.

There are times when I wonder whether I need this expensive, costly, financially ruinous therapy or not.

One of the benefits of therapy is that you start thinking like a T. And then you can figure stuff out on your own.

When you can figure everything out on your own, maybe it will be time to leave?