This wk marks the 4 yr anniversary of when our 1st T dumped me- no warning, out of nowhere, after yrs of promising she would never do that. It caused more splitting and more ptsd. Its taken a lot of hard work to start to get over it. The rejection of it and no closure still hurts. She has refused to talk to us. We never got to say goodbye.
Our new T ( best in the world) is stIll gone. Havent heard from her in a while. We really could use her support this week. Dont know
If we will hear from her. We need her to come back 5 months feels like forever. This is a challenging week. We could use some support.

[rainbow_rose]

((((safe hugs))))

[crazycanbegood]

i am sorry to hear about your last T. your current T seems like a keeper and I do hope she's able to return soon

we know exactly how you feel since the same thing happened to us in november. our numbers have grown. hope things go well for you this week.

Hard day

[pbutton]

I am so sorry that you're having a hard day.

[2or3things]

Thinking of you. Lots of hugs if you want them.

Also, I just want to say that I admire how brave and strong you're being these days with your T gone all this time. I know that it totally stinks to have to be brave and strong when we least feel like it, but you're doing it well nonetheless.

Thank you everybody. My heart is really aching tonight... I just feel like crying, but I don't know exactly why. I keep hoping the phone will ring, and it will be my T calling. On the other hand, I don't really expect her to.... I am having major trust issues right now. I know it isn't her fault she can't call... she has so much going on there and no privacy to call and stuff... but she kept saying "I'll call in a few days" and "We'll get to talk at least twice a week" and "I won't be gone very long"--and none of that was true, and it hurts a LOT. It feels like she is never coming home. I just need her here so BADLY. Its like an actual physical ache in my chest.

My heart is hurting so bad. I broke down crying. I just want her to come home. Five months is freaking FOREVER!!! i dont want to be a good sport about it anymore. I just want to have therapy again. I hate how much the inside kids have regressed since she left. Things just keep going downhill. And with this anniversary this week... Nothing good can come of it

Today is four years since old t dumped me it still hurts so bad. I wish i xould talk tO her just one more time. I wonder if she ever thinks of me. If she ever cared. If it was all lies wish i could tell her off. You dont end therapy in that cruddy wAy. I still miss her so much.

i feel so alone.
my T is supposed to call me today--she emailed me and said that she would. but i haven't heard from her yet. i really desperately need to talk to someone.
sorry for replying to my own posts. i feel really stupid.

[pbutton]

Don't feel stupid. Post as much as you need to. That's why we are here.

[rainbow_rose]

post as much as you need to, SarahMichelle

((safe hug))

[rainbow8]

SarahMichelle: I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. I wish your old T hadn't hurt you, and that your current T would come home already!! I hope she calls soon. You're very brave and it's okay to be upset, and to answer in your own threads. I do that too.

[Chopin99]

Sarah...know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Five months is an agonizing wait. I know you miss your T.

Thank you. Yesterday was a tough day. Today is still a little tough... I think of it as the day I had to start my life over.... I had seen that T for something like 6 years? Maybe almost 7? She was a huge part of my life, I'd seen her for 2 hours a week I believe.... and then she was just *GONE*--out of nowhere, just gone, and the way she dumped me was just really kind of mean, no closure, just "I'm done"-- I still have bad dreams about that night--
after she dumped me I was still severly anorexic and I was so sick and so despondent (I know, I never should have gotten so dependent on her!!! I still hate that!) that I couldn't eat because I was so upset, and my weight dropped even more-- I almost died twice, I ended up having to be hospitalized... my sister, who never comes to visit me, actually brought her family to come see me, I think they came to say their goodbyes... I looked like a skeleton.
So today is like my "started my life over day"--which I can reframe NOW as a good thing --but back then it was just the worst thing ever.
And NOW I can see that I learned a lot (I learned a lot from that T about what NOT to do to people, if nothing else!!)
And after losing 1st T i went through a long string of really horrible T's trying to find a new one. But that eventually led me to my new T who I just LOVE, she is AMAZING. And of course, on the other side of the freaking WORLD right now ()

My T did call me last night (Finally-its been several weeks) We talked for almost 3 hours. That helped quite a bit. She still doesn't know when she is coming home. But she is sick of being there and wants to come home. It just isn't all up to her, a lot has to do with her family and the situation going on there. She wants to come home though. I want her to come home so bad. I can't wait for her to get home.

[pbutton]

I am glad that you got to talk to your T.

[rainbow_rose]

glad you got to talk to her!!!!

I am trying to reframe things, instead of seeing this as the day my life "was over" as the day that my life started over. Even though 2008 was one of the worst years of my life...it was SO, SO hard moving on without old T.... probably the hardest thing we ever did... we did learn a lot that year. We had no one else, so we got a lot closer to God, and that made us into a much better person. Old T never got back to us on ANYTHING-- she never returned any of our things (DVD we had lent her, CD of ours, a couple of books we'd lent her, etc)- she won't even email us the name/# of a doctor we saw that we need information from. As it turns out, old T was not quite who she pretended to be. Which is really sad.
So we have new T--who we would have never met if old T hadn't dumped us. And she is so,so, SOOOO much better than old T. She knows so much more. Has so many more skills. Has INFINITELY more compassion. So in all, its good that old T dumped us...even if she did it in a really cruddy way.

[rainbow_rose]

that's is awesome reframing!