Have anyone asked their T. to change seats or move his seat? Or has anyone's T. ever moved during session?

My T. always sits in his big rolling chair directly facing me about 5 or 6 ft away..

I have a hard time talking about certain difficult topics... In the past when I had to talk about them I couldn't look at T but I also had such anxiety. I've thought about what would make me more comfortable and I would like him to either sit in the chair one over from me but on same wall or move his chair to that area... It seems like I would be more comfortable like a someone is sitting with you and not sitting there watching you... Its not like I want him sitting close to me ... I want a chair apart... like two people sitting in the car looking straight ahead and talking... sort of like a 50 minute road trip..

Do you think you T would do that for you? or have they moved at your request before?

I would certainly ask if he would mind moving during your session. The more comfortable you are, the better things will go. I would be honest with him about why you're asking. It makes complete sense to me. My T paces around a lot during the session, but when he sits in his rolling chair it's a little further away than yours is. I think I'd be uncomfortable too with someone that close and directly in front of me. Good luck - hope he'll do it.

I asked my T to sit next to me on the couch the first time I told him details of the sexual abuse I suffered. He sat next me really quietly, and it was very helpful not to have to look at him.

[Chopin99]

I asked T if I ever wanted her to sit on the couch with me, would she? She said she would if I asked. I've only asked once, when I wanted her to see some pics and she came right over and sat with me the rest of the session.

I think if you ask, your T would be willing to do what makes you comfortable.

[struggling2]

My T has always sat in the same chair directly in front of me but last time she moved to the chair a little closer to so we were about 3ft closer than before. and today, again she sat closer. i didnt ask her too but it was nice.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I think if you ask, your T would be willing to do what makes you comfortable.

what if I want to sit in a chair behind her, out of her line of sight? I've thought about it

[bluemountains]

I asked my T to completely change rooms one time. I wanted to meet in the waiting room (there are two) and this particular one has big comfortable couches-I spend a lot of time there when my son is in therapy.
Anyway, my t was not at all phased by this. In therapy she is so flexible with requests like this. I'll bet your t will be the same way with any request that will make you more comfortable.
Btw, she also doesn't mind when I decide to respond from under my coat so I don't have to make eye contact.
Good luck!
Bluemountains

I'm with an psychoanalyst therapist so she sits in a chair and I on a couch accept I never lie on it. I asked her once to swop and she said she doubts she could do therapy lying down she'd fall asleep

T and I move around a lot.

Sometimes we switch chairs, and it help me feel safe and contained.

A LOT of times I ask him to sit with me on the couch...usually when I need to tell him something really hard. It's easier to have him there with me instead of sitting across from me. My abuser used to sit in a chair and WATCH ME play, and sometimes it's really triggering for me to see T over there watching me.

T is so gentle, but somehow, he seems even more gentle on the couch.

We've sat on the floor, I've sat in his desk chair...pretty much every configuration you can think of. I find it interesting how the dynamics subtly change depending on where we're sitting.

I hope you will ask. You know what you need to heal, and even if the answer happened to be "no", it would help you and T see where you're struggling, what's hard, what you need, and how he can help you get that.

Generally we stay put in our "appointed spots", and I don't think I've ever moved from my spot on my own. It never crosses my mind actually. But one time when my husband and I were meeting together with him, T had me sit in his chair for some reason. Not sure why. I never thought to ask. On occasion he'll move to a different chair or come sit next to me on the couch. I think he does that for one of a couple of reasons. He has a bad back and sometimes he just needs a posture change. And occasionally he moves to shake me up a bit if I'm drifting in and out.

[stopdog]

I have asked the t not to stand up or move towards me and mostly the t has complied. If she was too close to me, and it was physically possible in the room, I would ask her to move away.

[pbutton]

Hmm... My T sits behind his desk and I sit in a chair across from him. The only other chair options in the room are two chairs against the wall. I can't imagine changing chairs. I don't want him to move, but I almost want to go sit in one of those other chairs just to see what it feels like.

My T.'s desk is pushed against wall so if he was sitting at it his back would be to me. He spins his big comfy desk chair around. There are about 6chairs around the three remaining walls.(he does group t in there too.... I chose to sit in the chair closest to door but then a few months ago moved over a chair...he noticed and commented...

I have T tonight so I might ask... really the only down side is that he would say no and then things would just be as they are which isn't a problem either... just thought it would be worth experimenting... to see if I would be more comfortable and more at ease...

[BonnieJean]

Once when I felt really unsafe in therapy, I told T before therapy that I didn't want to be in the normal place. She was fine with it. I sat at a table at the far end of the room. She asked me where I wanted her to sit and I said her normal place was fine. It was the distance I needed that session.

[lostmyway21]

My T has the same set up in both offices with him in chair, coffee table in middle, and me on couch across. The only difference is that in one office he is further away. I want to ask him to sit next to me during my next session if I go into abuse stuff. I highly doubt I will be comfortable talking about it with him so far away. I cant imagine him saying no, but I doubt I will work up the courage to ask.

UPDATE: I did it! I changed chairs when I first walked in which he immediately commented on and then I asked if he would be willing to experiment with me. I asked if he would come sit in the chair on the same wall (1 empty chair between us). He said YES! Then he asked if I minded if he put his feet up and he rolled his big comfy chair over and put his feet up.

It was an experiment to see if I would be more comfortable talking about difficult stuff without having to think about him looking at me... We stared at his book shelf for a few minutes and talked about whether we finish books or not that we don't really liked... It felt nice to have him there with me...and then I did it... I talked about something really hard... It didn't make it go away... It didn't change it... but I got it out... and T. was so kind and gentle with it

Now T. says we can pray about it, talk about it, work through it...

Thanks to all who encouraged me to ask and who shared their experiences. It all helped me to be brave.

I LOVE this, RTS. You did it!

I am so proud of you!

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

My T has the same set up in both offices with him in chair, coffee table in middle, and me on couch across. The only difference is that in one office he is further away. I want to ask him to sit next to me during my next session if I go into abuse stuff. I highly doubt I will be comfortable talking about it with him so far away. I cant imagine him saying no, but I doubt I will work up the courage to ask.

I hope you find the courage.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by struggling2

My T has always sat in the same chair directly in front of me but last time she moved to the chair a little closer to so we were about 3ft closer than before. and today, again she sat closer. i didnt ask her too but it was nice.

Sometuimes I feel the chairs are closer than others, but that may be an illusion.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

I've thought about what would make me more comfortable and I would like him to either sit in the chair one over from me but on same wall or move his chair to that area... It seems like I would be more comfortable like a someone is sitting with you and not sitting there watching you... Its not like I want him sitting close to me ... I want a chair apart... like two people sitting in the car looking straight ahead and talking... sort of like a 50 minute road trip..

Readytostop, I read an article once by a therapist who did this style of therapy. He had two big armchairs in his office, side by side, and that is where he and client sat. They went on a journey together. He was one of the existential/humanist therapists, rather prominent, but I can't remember his name. This seating arrangement sounded appealing to me too! There is a shared sense of "we're in this together" that is promoted by the seats side by side, I think.

I think it's wonderful you tried this with your T. Sounds like it was a huge success! Do you think this will become your regular seating arrangement?

Originally Posted by sunrise

Readytostop, I read an article once by a therapist who did this style of therapy. He had two big armchairs in his office, side by side, and that is where he and client sat. They went on a journey together. He was one of the existential/humanist therapists, rather prominent, but I can't remember his name. This seating arrangement sounded appealing to me too! There is a shared sense of "we're in this together" that is promoted by the seats side by side, I think.

I think it's wonderful you tried this with your T. Sounds like it was a huge success! Do you think this will become your regular seating arrangement?

It worked real well with me but we didn't talk about using it in future. I guess we will just have to wait and see how it all plays out.