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#1
I had an interesting conversation with my T yesterday and I thought it might interest people here.
T was talking to me about being triggered. He said when I first came to him, I was being triggered 90% of the time by things and only able to work through things without being triggered about 10% of the time. He said it then moved to about 75/25. Now I'm about 50/50. So, clearly my reaction to things lies on a continuum, so I need to figure out what makes the difference and learn from that. Then he said, one of the things he had to learn in his profession was how to keep a separation between himself and his clients. He was very quick to say that doesn't at all mean he doesn't care; he cares deeply about me for instance. But he has learned that his clients' stuff is their stuff. It isn't about him. He can't take on the pain and depression and memories because (a) that's not really possible anyway, and (b) he would have completely burned out years ago and would be no use to any client. His point was that I do have the ability to choose how I respond to things just as he has to each and every day. He realizes I don't think I do at times, but that I have proven over time that I am learning how to do that, so further gain IS possible, even if it doesn't feel that way. A message of hope and support I guess. I'm full of skepticism, but logically I know he's right (I hate it when he's right). Anyway, I thought his description of what therapists have to do to maintain their sanity and effectiveness was interesting. |
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Joanna_says, pachyderm, peridot28, PreacherHeckler, rainbow8, sittingatwatersedge, Unrigged64072835
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underdog is here
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#2
It is the patient who has the disease. It is the client who will go to jail. The professional does the best they can with what there is to work with. Seems a reasonable stance.
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Elder
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#3
Hi Chris, thanks for sharing this. I can understand what your T is saying. I can get very caught up in my head, to the extent it starts spinning, but slowly I am learning to be able to separate from it.
Now sometimes when I see other people caught in their thoughts, I can identify with them and feel for them, but still myself be able to be still in my body - so maybe this is something like your T describes? Sounds like you have made good progress with your T - I like it when T gives me feedback about then and now. Soup __________________ Soup |
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Member
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#4
Thank you for sharing!
This is something they tell us in group as well as sometimes things from others can trigger stuff. Unfortunately they don't tell us how to do that. To me it is really difficult. I either have to build walls around me and don't let anybody in much to keep things away from me. Or I am open to others allowing people in. The first one is safer but also very lonely at times. While the second is riskier, but it sure feels nice to share with others and have friendships. I wish I would know how not to go into these extremes. But it gives me a lot of hope to hear that this has improved for you and that change is possible. __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom ~ Anais Nin ~ |
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Young Butterfly
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#5
Thanks for sharing that.. What that is a great insight! A great way to look at things in my situation as well.
__________________ "You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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#6
Definitely. Sometimes we just can't see it in ourselves. It did me good to hear him quantify my progress. You wouldn't think such things are quantifiable, but T actually talks a lot in terms of numbers/rankings/percentages now that I think about it. Must be the old clinician in him coming out.
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Legendary
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#7
90% down to 50%, great work!! I got rid of my triggers.
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#8
I like getting feedback about progress too. I think it's amazing that he was able to quantify it so substantially.
It would be awful if Ts took on our pain as their own. That would mean that if I tell T that this xyz thing happened, it would be like I was doing it to him. If he maintains his separation/distance, then I don't have to feel like a perp. If that makes any sense. Anne |
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pachyderm
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#9
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Elder
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#10
Quote:
His second point corresponds to my thread on choices. We choose how we respond to each and every thing in our lives; consciously or unconsciously. The process of change can be slow, but you will keep growing as long as you choose to. __________________ Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau |
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