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#1
Jan 20, 2012, 03:55 PM
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I just had one of those aha moments. I was thinking about how when T says "you have to give 'that' too yourself" it leaves me feeling abandoned. But I was forcing myself to see all the other stuff about T and it kept nagging at me that somethings not right, that's when it hit me. My mother was always "you should be like this or like that, or you should do this for me or that for me" and I grew to believe that was because she cared about me but its the opposite and what T is saying is "be whatever you want to be, be however you want to be". She's giving me all the parts of me back to me instead of taking them accept I can't read it I can only read dysfunctional scripts, being "captured" by my mothers codependency felt like love. And when I come across someone healthy it feels so unfamiliar that I feel abandoned. How f++king crazy is that???????
It feels like I've got to let go of something I've learnt to cling too to find something that I"m not sure is there, have to trust!!!!! Oh I get it now! I've been trying to recreate that same dynamic with T and she of course won't join in and it hurts!! Unyet she's giving me freedom. Cripes talk about stockholm syndrome! |
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#2
Jan 20, 2012, 04:17 PM
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Oh, what wonderful insight, earthmamma. Yup, how well did you give to your mother so she was satisfied?
 T can't give to you either, only you can give to you what you need because only you can know what that is! It is scary though, taking back one's power for one's self.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#3
Jan 20, 2012, 04:19 PM
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That is a great insight! I love aha moments!
__________________
"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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#4
Jan 20, 2012, 04:57 PM
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Wow, you have been having a lot of great insights lately. Excellent work!!!!!!!!!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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