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#1
Jan 20, 2012, 07:03 AM
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This new T2 has a group that meets right before me. We have met just twice, and both times she has offered me coffee, several kinds of tea, water, pop, cookies, candy...
T1 never offered me so much as a sip of water (which I admit would have been much appreciated at times). The first time T2 began to offer this list of stuff it was all I could do not to goggle at her ... the second time I managed to say, you mean people actually have snacks and stuff in here? she seemed a little surprised and said, why not? IDK, my experience of therapy has never been a chat sort of experience.... I just stammered, I guess I just can't picture people being ... so... um... relaxed in here. Is it just me? |
 Victom4ever
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#2
Jan 20, 2012, 07:06 AM
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My T always pours me a glass of water, and I almost always bring my coffee in. I brought him a coffee a few times when I found out he loved Starbucks as much as I.
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never mind... |
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#3
Jan 20, 2012, 07:11 AM
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i think i would love that.my T has always has her water with her that she drinks out of a tea cup but has never offered me anything either but i dont think she would mind if i brought in my own stuff. i think it is nice that she does this.i know for me it would help put me at ease big time
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BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#4
Jan 20, 2012, 07:39 AM
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My T also does groups with men. He also offers me water at times. If I need it, all I have to do is ask. I wonder if Ts who do group therapy are just a bit different than Ts who don't do group?
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#5
Jan 20, 2012, 07:45 AM
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When I was in group, we would occasionally all bring food and eat together during session. Kind of communing together, I guess. My current T often will offer me a snack because I'm usually at the end of the day and he is hungry and wants one himself.
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#6
Jan 20, 2012, 09:04 AM
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My T has offered me water once when I was late to session and ran across the parking lot and up the stairs. She usually has her own water bottle, but never drinks from it. She has asked me twice if she could drink an Ensure during my session because she was feeling weak during her chemo treatments. I always told her I didn't mind.
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Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau |
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#7
Jan 20, 2012, 09:24 AM
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The one I see does not offer anything but usually has a mug of something next to her. I do not think I would accept even if offered. I didlike that part of the show In Treatment where there was a pitcher with some glasses in Gina's office which was pointed out after Paul complained at her about not even having water for her clients.
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 pbutton
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#8
Jan 20, 2012, 10:02 AM
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My T always stops to get me a glass of water on the way back to his office. It makes me feel cared for.
 Sometimes, I deliberately leave my soda in the car because I like him getting water for me. How stupid is that?
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#9
Jan 20, 2012, 10:23 AM
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Quote:
My current T doesn't offer it herself but the waiting room has water hot/cold, several kinds of tea and hot chocolate. My T is usually drinking tea when I'm there. |
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#10
Jan 20, 2012, 10:32 AM
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I pretty much thought they would not think it a good idea for clients to have hot liquid projectiles handed to them.
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| CantExplain
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#11
Jan 20, 2012, 10:38 AM
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My t ususally always has something to drink during our session.. He has never offered me anything, but I would turn it down anways.
__________________
"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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#12
Jan 20, 2012, 10:41 AM
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My T has offered me water, not sure where it would come from though since I've always declined. I'm so over-compensatingly self-sufficient I have started bringing my own.
Last edited by pbutton; Jan 20, 2012 at 10:54 AM. |
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#13
Jan 20, 2012, 10:44 AM
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Quote:
I would not accept such an offer because of projectile potential and because I would be uncertain as to what the cost would be if I did so.(mocked or ridiculed for being unable to go 50 minutes without hydration, too thick to bring my own, how much gratitude would be expected, and so forth). |
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#14
Jan 20, 2012, 10:54 AM
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>> mocked or ridiculed for being unable to go 50 minutes without hydration
wow this feels harsh  it's hard to talk for a full hour without any water, especially when yr mouth is dry from anxiety (my situation)how we load ourselves with blame... too thick to bring my own, how much gratitude would be expected, over-compensatingly self-sufficient bringing my own (this is me too  the Needless Wonder, you know)
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| pbutton
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#15
Jan 20, 2012, 11:17 AM
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Quote:
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#16
Jan 20, 2012, 11:22 AM
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I knew the self-sufficient thing was really out of control last time. I was crying and reached for a Kleenex... mid-reach I realized that I had my own tissues in my pocket. I almost backed up and got one of my own out. But I figured T would notice and call me out on this crazy need to prove that I need nothing from him.
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#17
Jan 20, 2012, 11:23 AM
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My T always offers a beverage...I typically turn her down. Sometimes, I bring my own, and just once I took her up on the offer of water, when I simply hadn't had anything to drink all day.
I find having a drink during session to be distracting. I seem to use it as a way to stop talking about difficult stuff...ya know, it's getting difficult, get a drink, deflect, etc. So, I try to avoid it unless I'm just really thirsty or have a sore throat or something.
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---Rhi |
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#18
Jan 20, 2012, 12:22 PM
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My T always offers me a drink, usually I'll have a cup of tea. She also once got me a small bottle of water when I was out of breath after having had to rush to session. She usually doesn't drink anything; I think once when she had a cold she had a cup of tea as well.
As for snacks, there usually aren't any. She had a box of chocolates there around Christmas time though. |
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#19
Jan 20, 2012, 12:32 PM
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Quote:
she said it's an aftereffect of having received conditional love. Oh I suppose... but if a compliment is obligating, what about accepting stuff, even if it's tea or cookies? |
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#20
Jan 20, 2012, 12:40 PM
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Sometimes I'd catch my T finishing an apple or something :-) This gave me the courage to stop at Dunkin Donuts a couple times and sit and eat a couple and drink a carton of milk, an after-work/school snack with mother, LOL.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#21
Jan 20, 2012, 01:04 PM
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I asked a while back and my T said it was fine. She often has a can of Coke Zero (that I assume actually has Coke Zero in it
 ) on her desk. Just yesterday I bought a travel mug so I can take tea. She offered me something once when she needed to get a glass of water (assuming again!  ) and I was surprised. I declined because I didn't want anything. I used to get a McD's flavored coffee on the way, then stopped doing that. I never took it in with me though. Recently I had been buying a cup of hot water at McD's to make tea and taking that in with me sometimes. A few times of paying over a dollar for hot water, and I decided to get a travel/thermal cup. So now I am committed and have my travel mug to take my own tea. Now she can assume that it's tea that I'm drinking I think I expect a less than intimate, not-too-personal relationship and that's because it is my safety zone, and when she offered me something that time it was kind of a shock. So, can it be coffee? tea? AND therapy?
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#22
Jan 20, 2012, 01:11 PM
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My T will get me a glass of water if I ask for it. My medication leaves me with a dry mouth, so the water helps. Otherwise I'll go through T with my mouth feeling like paste and drink something when I get home. I don't bring anything to drink to T because I come straight from work and it's usually not on my mind to do that.
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#23
Jan 20, 2012, 01:29 PM
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He used to do that- Ive turned him down few times and then explained that I would hate to drink from a cup knowing he probably drank from it too ...
 Well anyway, when I was ill and needed to take my meds I had to asked for stg. to drink he looked so glad...  I must be really hard to work with.
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#24
Jan 20, 2012, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
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#25
Jan 20, 2012, 01:49 PM
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T sometimes offers me water, but I always decline, it makes me feel anxious for some reason.
__________________
Soup |
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