[healed84]

So, if you have been following me today.. I am unsure of T's policy of calling in between sessions. I decided to call and leave a messagae with his receptionist, she did say that IF he could he would call me back. He did not. I understand that there are probably a 100 of good reason why he didn't.. And, who knows, maybe he ran out of time today and he may call on Monday. Not sure.. However, I am so worried about how our next session is going to start. It will be weird, he is going to tell me what I did was wrong. Ugh... I am feeling like I did something stupid today by calling.

In all honesty, I ended up calling b/c the unleashing of emtions this week after my session really just got to me. a couple of weeks ago my daugther had a severe allergic reaction, and that threw me in a tailspin. First, it was anxiety and then it lead to depression and that is what I had been dealing with this week. I have not been a good place, and have kept on retreating deeper into that depression. Then this morning I woke up this more gripped by fear, my anxiety was getting out of control and I felt as though I was going to have a huge panic attatck. I so despertatley didn't want to have that attack, and that is why I called. I did have an attack, and I got through it... this is hard. It is going to be a long week antcipating my next appointment with T.

Anways, thanks for bearing with me today!

Wow, I'm sorry about your daughter. i have a son who has severe allergies and it is terrifying.

I called my therapist yesterday and I really thought i made it clear i wanted him to call back and he didn't. Today he mentioned something about it, but he wasn't upset.

I hope this gets worked out for you.

One trick I've learned with my T is if he hasn't gotten back to me and the office is about to close, I call his secretary one more time and ask her to remind him to call me. I think he's guilty of being handed the message and setting it down on his desk where it gets forgotten in the course of the day. That second call always seems to do the trick. His secretary is phenomenal and will scold him when he hasn't gotten back to me. Gotta love her! He doesn't mean to forget to call; he just gets distracted (probably because he really is ADHD). I just think of the additional prompt as the same technique I use with my ADHD son.

And if the need to speak with him becomes emergent, don't be afraid to call after hours. He probably has an answering service or emergency number to call. You might check on that.

Originally Posted by healed84

However, I am so worried about how our next session is going to start. It will be weird, he is going to tell me what I did was wrong. Ugh... I am feeling like I did something stupid today by calling.

I understand your concern about the next session. I wouldn't worry too much. He won't be upset with you even if he has a "no call between sessions" policy because you didn't know the policy. It might feel weird but this could lead to all good things. First, you will get a chance to learn what are his policies about contacting him. Second, you will be able to discuss the panic attacks and some coping skills to use when this comes up in the future.

I've learned that most of the times that I worried about T.'s reaction it was because I was anticipating him to respond the way other significant people in my life did...like I was going to be belittled the way my mother made me feel. All of those times helped me to see that I don't have to anticipate everyone to behave how my mother did...

It would be nice if he has already called you back but if not...remember we are here if you need support

[Perna]

Originally Posted by healed84

he is going to tell me what I did was wrong.

Do a little logical, reality testing? How is calling someone on the phone ever wrong? He has no idea whatsoever why you called him (assuming he got the message, a large assumption), for all he knows, you are giving him information about next session, that you'll be late or want to ask him a question about the administrative/business portion of your contact.

So, you must mean, after you tell him why you called him; why did you call him again? You were upset and wanted some reassurance? Again, how is "How dare you call me when you are upset and want reassurance; that's wrong! Don't ever do that again!" ever a "right" response, especially for a psychotherapist?

Look how simple and vague the words are in your negative thoughts. "What I did was wrong." Negative thoughts are never sophisticated enough to stand up to reality! Make fun of them or of their simplicity! Tell them, "Excuse me, I might occasionally do something wrong but you are always incorrect, erroneous, mistaken, false, improper, and downright bad! Leave me alone!"

[bluemountains]

So sorry about your daughter, healed84, if your t has an answering service you could try again; however, it would just put anticipation out there for you again. There are plenty of innocent explanations as to why t didn't call-perhaps messages are put in a box, and he must pick them up (like I do as a teacher), or maybe the receptionist didn't understand the emotions you were feeling and did not pass on the message in a timely manner, and you are right, there are probably many other good reasons...
As Readytostop has already said, we are here to listen, comment, maybe help, and mainly to let you know you are not alone!

Bluemountains

[Chopin99]

I'm sorry he did not call you back, but as the above posters said, there could be a myriad of good reasons why he did not.

Feel free to get your support here. This is a great place to find support in-between sessions. Just make sure you find out what his policies are regarding between session contact. I would love for mine to be responsive 24/7, but that is unrealistic. They are busy people while they are working (and they work a lot outside of their session times) and need time away.

I work in the mental health field as a case manager and I know I need my time off to be off! Doesn't mean I don't love my clients, because I do, very much!!

[healed84]

Thanks everyone for the reassuring words! Everyones responses are very insightful and right on!! I will make sure to ask him next time (if it doesn't come up) his policies.

[healed84]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

I understand your concern about the next session. I wouldn't worry too much. He won't be upset with you even if he has a "no call between sessions" policy because you didn't know the policy. It might feel weird but this could lead to all good things. First, you will get a chance to learn what are his policies about contacting him. Second, you will be able to discuss the panic attacks and some coping skills to use when this comes up in the future.

I've learned that most of the times that I worried about T.'s reaction it was because I was anticipating him to respond the way other significant people in my life did...like I was going to be belittled the way my mother made me feel. All of those times helped me to see that I don't have to anticipate everyone to behave how my mother did...

It would be nice if he has already called you back but if not...remember we are here if you need support

Yeap, I bolded the part that is right on.... It is good to have other's thoughts on what I am feeling to see that there is another side, or irrational thought, or whatever. I am glad I found this place!

Originally Posted by healed84

Yeap, I bolded the part that is right on.... It is good to have other's thoughts on what I am feeling to see that there is another side, or irrational thought, or whatever. I am glad I found this place!

I'm glad you are here. I'm glad I found this place too... most of this stuff I couldn't figure out on my own. I learned from others on PC who would comment on my threads like Treehouse and Sannah...

It felt good to be able to pass some of it along.