[jazzy123456]

I know I had a total melt down in an email with my T that was probably majority transference... even though I was acting obsurd haha. do therapists consider transference a positive or a negative thing? even if it is at the expense of themselves, do they still see it as positive?

I don't know. I feel terrible for it... but, I just have these melt downs sometimes you know, cus I'm human like that and that's how I roll sometimes...

HUGS for all those who have those transference issues!

[CantExplain]

I suspect they think about transference the same way they think about feelings in general, ie:

It happens, it is real to the patient, it is neither right nor wrong, but it's something we can learn from and talk through. Talk about it enough, and it shrinks to manageable proportions.

[faith1983]

If I'm right, there is a therapy which is based on transference (I think psychanalys is, but I'm not sure). It's not good or bad but it is certainly helpful to help t help you . Together, you can explore the reason for it to happen. So, I guess it is good at the end!

[shezbut]

I've had transference occur a couple of times in therapy.

I felt very strange, and angry, when it first occurred. As I came back into reality, I mentioned to my T how upset I was. My T then said that he'd noticed my transference and he didn't mind the change.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by shezbut

I've had transference occur a couple of times in therapy.

I felt very strange, and angry, when it first occurred. As I came back into reality, I mentioned to my T how upset I was. My T then said that he'd noticed my transference and he didn't mind the change.

So you have transference "episodes"?

My transference is pretty much continuous.

[SoupDragon]

What is transference? I'm still not sure.

[Perna]

Transference is like dissociation, everyone does/has it. When you "get lost" in a book, you are dissociated, not aware of what's going on around you (when you text while driving :-) Dissociation is basically "not paying attention" to where your body is/what you are doing here and now. It is on a continuum (isn't everything?), the extreme being DID.

Transference is when the other person consciously or unconsciously reminds us of someone else and/or another situation and we act on that thought/feeling/memory. Some of attraction or "gut instinct" that we would like/not like a relative stranger is transference, for example.

In therapy, we do not "know" the therapist so anyone or everyone we do know and situations in the past can get transferred to her and the session. When my T asked questions, trying to clarify her understanding, for example, I thought she was trying to "trap" me, like my stepmother use to. My stepmother would ask unanswerable/double bind "Why did you do that?" (when I'd done something she had decreed was "wrong") questions so all questions became manipulation rather than simple requests for information. The extremes of transference can be paranoia, shutting down, angry outbursts, etc. Pretty much any "extreme" (I mean, how upsetting/extreme can sitting in a room, talking with another person who is trying to help you be as an experience?) in therapy, you should look for where the transference is.

[jazzy123456]

I can't handle it everyone. I am thinking about quitting now...

I can't deal with this... I was in therapy before. I don't want to rehash or even think
about my issues anymore-- they feel bigger then me.

I don't think I handle therapy in a healthy way... because of how I feel on the inside half the time..

[likewater]

((Jazzy)) you can handle therapy. Tell your T what's going on. There are things you and T can do to make it easier. Therapy is hard for everyone, but it' s worth it . You dont have to tackle all your issues all at once. Just go slowly. Take it easy. M.y T says i cab take baby steps

[CantExplain]

I hope things go better for you soon, Jazzy.

[SeaBreeze]

Jazzy it's okay, therapy is hard and its fine to be feeling the way you are. It can get better though and maybe even way better!! So try and hang in there long enough, ride it out, and just handle what's happening currently.
I've also struggled with transference and I have managed to get to a point where I can handle it. It took a while. But saying that, I still have moments and its excruciatingly painful and hard, but I'm bouncing back much quicker now and feeling stronger for it.
Big hugs to you ((((Jazzy))))

[CantExplain]

I've been thinking a bit more about transference.

As a diagnostic tool, transference is probably the most powerful weapon in a therapist's arsenal.

Some recent personal examples:

The blank slate is very triggering and I'm upset that I don't really know my T. Also, I don't want my T to see me as younger than fifteen.

Now substitute "mother" for "T" in the above sentences, and you discover that I'm upset that I never really knew my mother and that I didn't want my mother to see me as younger than fifteen. In other words, my mother never really accepted me as an adult.

Now there are other ways we could have worked this out, but transference is a shortcut to what matters.

The beautiful thing about interpreting transference, is that anyone can do it, even the patient. You don't have to wait for T to point it out.

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

So you have transference "episodes"?

My transference is pretty much continuous.

(((Can't Explain)))

I can't imagine going through that continuously.

[athena2011]

Originally Posted by faith1983

If I'm right, there is a therapy which is based on transference (I think psychanalys is, but I'm not sure). It's not good or bad but it is certainly helpful to help t help you . Together, you can explore the reason for it to happen. So, I guess it is good at the end!

That's right. Psychoanalysis actively uses transference as a main tool. It is very, very powerful. It can be negative, it can be positive - usually it shifts around. Strong feelings - positive or negative for your T - help him/her understand you better than you simply telling them stuff. They feel your experience - right in the present. And they analyse their own reactions (countertransference) to you. That gives them more clues still. I will say though, it's not always a comfortable process. They didn't call the movie based on Jung and Freud (in theatres now) "A Dangerous Method" for no reason.

[learning1]

Jazzy, i'm so sorry you're struggling. You're one of the first people, or maybe the first person who responded to my first post on PC, and you were so very helpful and, I think, you are very good at understanding therapy.

I'm not sure what you mean about transference, but I'm sure you understand what you're going through. For me, it seems like people mean various things by transference- sometimes just romantic transference, sometimes any strong feelings toward their therapist, sometimes the strong feelings that the client or therapist recognize as related to the client's past, and sometimes just everything in therapy. My t relates pretty much everything to the past, and I'm always thinking about how my reactions to my t might relate to how I react in general due to my past (not that I can do that while I'm interacting with him). So, my t never used the word transference, but I guess the way he relates everything to the past makes it seem less like an uncomfortable thing when he does it (sometimes). It sounds like whatever transference happened with you was a more temporary thing that happened with your t. I hope you can make it through and feel okay about it again. I think you'll get through it- you are strong. Post about it here if you want.