[bluemountains]

Hi All,
I am in the process of convincing myself that I no longer need therapy, and I would like to stop seeing the pdoc asap. My husband doesn't agree with my thoughts, by the way.

Here's my train of thought-first, I am feeling "normal" for the past couple of weeks. The only major crisis I have had to deal with is my sister's hospitalization, and I handled that fine. Second, my meds seem to be working, no unnecessary crying lately. Third, I get so bored with the cbt homework! With all of the extra work I bring home from work, it is tough to complete the therapy assignments. Last, I don't want to deal with the csa right now.

My husband's reasons for hoping that I will continue is that I have only just started to be in control, and he is concerned that my rapid cycling will come back. Also, he thinks I am not as normal as I believe myself to be-maybe he's forgot that the normal me is slightly crazy.

I dread going to both therapy and pdoc tomorrow because I guess I am getting tired of all of it. I want to stay normal and save money at the same time.

Bluemountains

Wonderful that you've been feeling "normal"!

Would it be possible to scale back therapy to once every two weeks or once a month? The problem is that it's possible that you could dip and need the support of a therapist. Cutting off completely might even serve as a trigger. Also/Alternatively, could you ask about stopping the CBT work for now and/or talking about csa?

[healed84]

I think a good idea would to be go to your appointments tomorrow and talk to T and Pdoc about how you have been feeling and see what they have to say about it. And go from there?? I hope you get it all figured out!

[bluemountains]

I think that when I go in feeling normal, somehow I always come out feeling like more problems were created that I have to deal with. I am going to both tomorrow and hope that each sees what I think I'm feeling,
Bluemountains

[bluemountains]

In reading my own posts, I fear that I am actually on the way to hypomanic, again. I guess I'll find out today. My clues: ready to quit therapy and drugs, I couldn't stay at home all weekend-2 dinners out, movies, shopping. Last night was an on and off sleep night-maybe a total of 4 hrs.
I haven't started the wine drinking binge yet, and this is my biggest clue.
I am still going to both appointments today. I am still going to be honest about being ready to quit, and hear their thoughts, and I know they will differ from me. Meanwhile, though, even if I stick with it, I want them to help me outline a real plan for getting away from so much time and money on my mental health. I want the low maintenance version!
If anyone wants to come along to help me with my sanity today, I'm wearing pockets!
Bluemountains

[karebear1]

I'm jumping in those pockets!

Ya know blue...... it's been hard for me to determine when I should stop meds etc. I find that my thinking can often be clouded. Once I realized this, I asked my children and husband to let me know when they saw changes, or felt contrary to what I wanted or felt. I NEED them to voice their opinions because I can't always tell- and I do trust them. Who else in my world will really look out for me and protect me and tell me truthfully what they see, but my husband and children. (My children are all adults (28, 29, and 30), so I'm not asking something that might be overwhelming for children of younger ages.)

You seem to be pretty aware of what you are feeling and good at checkling yourself, but having your husband offer his opinion and view is really valuable.

I hope your appointment goes well today. Good luck!

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by karebear1

I'm jumping in those pockets!

Ya know blue...... it's been hard for me to determine when I should stop meds etc. I find that my thinking can often be clouded. Once I realized this, I asked my children and husband to let me know when they saw changes, or felt contrary to what I wanted or felt. I NEED them to voice their opinions because I can't always tell- and I do trust them. Who else in my world will really look out for me and protect me and tell me truthfully what they see, but my husband and children. (My children are all adults (28, 29, and 30), so I'm not asking something that might be overwhelming for children of younger ages.)

You seem to be pretty aware of what you are feeling and good at checkling yourself, but having your husband offer his opinion and view is really valuable.

I hope your appointment goes well today. Good luck!

Thanks karebear for the advice, and joining me today. You are right, I should follow the advice of my husband. I am really working on this because on my highs I can be very stubborn, but I truly am trying to listen-after 23 years of marriage you'd think I would trust and follow his opinions!
As for today's appointments, t time was stressful and pdoc was fine. As usual, I am not journaling enough of my negative thoughts and events (actually I do, but I don't bring them along) so my t asked again if I would do this. I did share a poem I wrote and evidentally too much of my thoughts came out because she showed great concern about my pain. With all of this, I didn't even bother to ask for a healing timeline.
The pdoc appointment was a little more positive-the med changes are beginning to work, and so she added more abilify and took away wellbutrin-one medicine gone!
I know I have to follow the plan if I want to get better, I just get tired of the work when I think I am feeling okay. With all of the "homework" I have, I guess there is still a lot of improving to do!

Thanks for the concern-
Bluemountains