So xT suggested 3 new professionals to contact ... One is a phycologist , one a lcsw like xT and the other An LPC.

1. Do I trust xT gave me people who could help me? Do I assume she is not a good judge of a new T for me as she couldn't help me?

2. Do I tell them this is an interview?

3. Do I just tell them everything that didn't work for me with xT and that I don't want to go through that again?

4. Most importantly , how do I know xT doesn't collaborate with these suggested professionals?

This sucks....

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

So xT suggested 3 new professionals to contact ... One is a phycologist , one a lcsw like xT and the other An LPC.

1. Do I trust xT gave me people who could help me? Do I assume she is not a good judge of a new T for me as she couldn't help me?

2. Do I tell them this is an interview?

3. Do I just tell them everything that didn't work for me with xT and that I don't want to go through that again?

4. Most importantly , how do I know xT doesn't collaborate with these suggested professionals?

This sucks....

If I were in your situation, I would have to hope that xT is professional enough that she would be suggesting professionals that she would think could help you. That since she knows your situation that starting with her list would be more helpful than hurtful..

[unaluna]

Step one would just be to look them up online and see what info you can get from there about what their qualifications are. yeah, say it's an interview when you call. but to tell you the truth, the one referral I got from a prev T, didn't work for me. who somebody THINKS you are, if they have a misconception, how can they match you with someone else?

I'm not sure where you live, Lola, but if in the US, did you try Psychology Today's therapist locator site? http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/ Each therapist has a personal profile (often a picture) if you want to look for new therapists for yourself.

I would definitely say that you're looking for a new T and that you're calling several people. If someone doesn't accept this, it's a sign that the person believes in a one T fits all model, something I totally disagree with. I would make a list of 2-3 things you absolutely want in a T and ask them about these things. For me, it was someone warm (something I could tell just by meeting w/ the person), someone who would hug (this is a bit harder to ask but with my current T I was able to get these words out), and someone who would be available between sessions for a phone call if I were struggling.

It's perfectly fine to ask the Ts on the list whether they collaborate w/ exT.

Good luck and I'm proud of you for moving on! Also, even if you go w/ one of the people whom she suggested, don't be afraid to talk angrily about your last T. The first part of your work will be to process what happened and you need to do this to move on to the next T relationship.

[Hope-Full]

I found this list on another forum:

Questions to ask within the first 2 sessions:

How do you handle payment (copay, coinsurance)?

Have you ever initiated termination of therapy, how many times, and for what reasons?

What percentage of your current clientele are you treating with similar diagnoses as my own?

What have been some signs or symptoms of burnout that you have experienced in the past?

What does transference mean to you?

What does counter-transference mean to you?

Do you have a list of rules or boundaries available?

How many clients have you had that overstepped their boundaries or pushed your boundaries?

What is your policy on communication (email, phone, text) between sessions?

Do you typically have annual scheduled vacations? And do you have someone fill in for you? Do you allow contact during your vacation time?

What is the maximum number of clients you are comfortable treating at one time?

How many clients do you currently have?

How do you measure “success” with a client? In your opinion, is therapy ever over?

How has your view of therapy changed since you were studying it in college?

What are some options for clients who are unable or unwilling to change?

Do you feel PTSD is overblown?

When a client has verbally “attacked” or “accused” you, what have you found is the best way to respond to such clients?

Does the therapy relationship more closely resemble a business transaction or an intimate partnership between 2 people?

A key component of therapy is in the client talking and being heard. What do you do with clients who have trouble talking or sharing?

What is your policy on touch?

What is your stance on structured sessions versus going at the client’s pace?

Are you an evil, self-centered, oblivious, uncaring, heartless, bit*h?


Things to reveal/say outright at the first 2 sessions:

I want to evaluate how well of a fit this will be for the first few sessions, therefore I cannot make a commitment at this time, beyond those sessions.

I require clear boundaries, and well-defined office policies.

I have unresolved transference, attachment, abandonment, and childhood issues. I need to know sooner rather than later whether or not you feel out of your skill set or comfort zone.

My foremost goals in therapy are to be heard and understood unconditionally. To express my pain safely. To first fully explain my perceptions and the basis behind my perceptions BEFORE attempting to understand what I need to change. To have the painful memories and experiences of my past understood and accepted.

Therapy is a learning experience for me, therefore I require that the therapist I am “learning” from be emotionally stable, have control over their own moods, able to think objectively, and never lose sight that I am here for me not them.

Here's the link: http://psychcafe.ca/eve/forums/a/tpc...m/961008194001

[growlycat]

Can you find T's on your own to interview? I would be wary of the list the last T gave you. Only because she was unusually nasty. I've never heard of anything quite like it!!

Can you ask about issues that are specific to you?

How do you handle client attachment and neediness?
What would you do if I cried in a session? (I have used this one in T interviews!!)
Are you comfortable with long term therapy or are you time-limited?
How would you describe your therapy style?
What schools of thought most influence your style of therapy? (Mine answered:Kohut)
Do you specialize in anything?
Do you hold strong beliefs about sexual orientation, if so elaborate.
What is your between-session contact policy?
This is a hard one to ask....What is your touching policy re hugs, hand holding etc.?

I am so happy you are seeking a new T. You try to be so fair to others you forget your own needs!!! Try to listen to your gut feelings, don't ignore the red flags!! They are there to protect you and steer you in the right direction! Let us know what happens!!!

[growlycat]

PS....before the interviews, it may help to make a list of "must haves" in a T such as..."must exude warmth", or "must not be bigoted re:sexual orientation".

Also, a list of "deal-breakers" such as "exudes icy coldness", "has a no-contact-between sessions policy",

Rooting for you!

[growlycat]

Sorry-I didn't exactly answer the questions!!

1. I would say NO, but interviewing them will not hurt, just ask if they are FRIENDS with old T (you don't want that!!)
2. Yes, which leads to #3---yes, tell them what happened! Keep it concise if you can
3 see above
4. Ask!!

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

So xT suggested 3 new professionals to contact ... One is a phycologist , one a lcsw like xT and the other An LPC.

1. Do I trust xT gave me people who could help me? Do I assume she is not a good judge of a new T for me as she couldn't help me?

2. Do I tell them this is an interview?

3. Do I just tell them everything that didn't work for me with xT and that I don't want to go through that again?

4. Most importantly , how do I know xT doesn't collaborate with these suggested professionals?

This sucks....

Originally Posted by Hope-Full

I found this list on another forum:

Questions to ask within the first 2 sessions:

How do you handle payment (copay, coinsurance)?

Have you ever initiated termination of therapy, how many times, and for what reasons?

What percentage of your current clientele are you treating with similar diagnoses as my own?

What have been some signs or symptoms of burnout that you have experienced in the past?

What does transference mean to you?

What does counter-transference mean to you?

Do you have a list of rules or boundaries available?

How many clients have you had that overstepped their boundaries or pushed your boundaries?

What is your policy on communication (email, phone, text) between sessions?

Do you typically have annual scheduled vacations? And do you have someone fill in for you? Do you allow contact during your vacation time?

What is the maximum number of clients you are comfortable treating at one time?

How many clients do you currently have?

How do you measure “success” with a client? In your opinion, is therapy ever over?

How has your view of therapy changed since you were studying it in college?

What are some options for clients who are unable or unwilling to change?

Do you feel PTSD is overblown?

When a client has verbally “attacked” or “accused” you, what have you found is the best way to respond to such clients?

Does the therapy relationship more closely resemble a business transaction or an intimate partnership between 2 people?

A key component of therapy is in the client talking and being heard. What do you do with clients who have trouble talking or sharing?

What is your policy on touch?

What is your stance on structured sessions versus going at the client’s pace?

Are you an evil, self-centered, oblivious, uncaring, heartless, bit*h?


Things to reveal/say outright at the first 2 sessions:

I want to evaluate how well of a fit this will be for the first few sessions, therefore I cannot make a commitment at this time, beyond those sessions.

I require clear boundaries, and well-defined office policies.

I have unresolved transference, attachment, abandonment, and childhood issues. I need to know sooner rather than later whether or not you feel out of your skill set or comfort zone.

My foremost goals in therapy are to be heard and understood unconditionally. To express my pain safely. To first fully explain my perceptions and the basis behind my perceptions BEFORE attempting to understand what I need to change. To have the painful memories and experiences of my past understood and accepted.

Therapy is a learning experience for me, therefore I require that the therapist I am “learning” from be emotionally stable, have control over their own moods, able to think objectively, and never lose sight that I am here for me not them.

Here's the link: http://psychcafe.ca/eve/forums/a/tpc...m/961008194001

This is awesome, it actually made me smile!

[CantExplain]

Someone who has no talent themselves may still recognise talent in others.

[unaluna]

Great list, thanks! And I like Kohut a lot.

Originally Posted by Hope-Full

Are you an evil, self-centered, oblivious, uncaring, heartless, bit*h?

Lola, I'm sorry for your loss, and that it ended so badly with ex-T, but I'm also so glad that you're moving towards finding what you need rather than sticking to what ex-T was (not) willing to offer you. I know you've posted on here before about what you felt you needed from exT, like limited reparenting, so this seems like a fab opportunity to ask these Ts straight up if they are comfortable and experienced using this approach. Let us know how you get on!

Originally Posted by Improving

I know you've posted on here before about what you felt you needed from exT, like limited reparenting, so this seems like a fab opportunity to ask these Ts straight up if they are comfortable and experienced using this approach. Let us know how you get on!

The only one in the area listing schema ws xT ... Oddly enough.... I have contacted one of xT's suggestions and plan on contacting anothe suggestion of hers tomorrow. I would like to see the Phycologist and get tested for BPD as well as afew other things. Well I probably won't do eaxctly that, I'll tell her I think I exhibit BPD traits, I have mommy issues, I'm a lesbian and I freak out a lot over little things... And please don't put so many boundaries on me that I feel trapped.
No women in the area who specialize in BPD but who? You guessed it xT. So she either lied or I truly failed therapy.