[pbutton]

First, we need to establish that I like knowing what is going to happen. I like routine.

I've been seeing T since last April. He always walks me out to the waiting room. Today we walked out his office door, he awkwardly said "see ya" and *poof* he was gone. No walking me to the outer door. I'm not even sure where the hell he went. Did he need a potty break? Did he need to leave to go get his kids? Is this some new therapy thing for me? Did he have an upcoming patient who'd flip seeing him let me out the door? Could he not have warned me we were going to make a big change? Why in the hell am I obsessing about this? Argh. All of the good stuff that happened and I can't get past my annoyance with this. He's just usually better at stuff, this was so strange.

[Wren_]

If you have a relationship where email is fine between sessions and it's driving you crazy thinking about this, you may as well email and ask Really depends on the T and your relationship with him about whether or not to email.

[Chopin99]

If you normally email him about things, I don't see where it could hurt. If it bothers you, ask!

Definitely e-mail if your T allows it. Your T has made it really clear, from what it sounds like, that he is safe to discuss these kinds of things with.

Originally Posted by pbutton

First, we need to establish that I like knowing what is going to happen. I like routine.

I've been seeing T since last April. He always walks me out to the waiting room. Today we walked out his office door, he awkwardly said "see ya" and *poof* he was gone. No walking me to the outer door. I'm not even sure where the hell he went. Did he need a potty break? Did he need to leave to go get his kids? Is this some new therapy thing for me? Did he have an upcoming patient who'd flip seeing him let me out the door? Could he not have warned me we were going to make a big change? Why in the hell am I obsessing about this? Argh. All of the good stuff that happened and I can't get past my annoyance with this. He's just usually better at stuff, this was so strange.

Don't know what I can say that would help anything, but I have to have routines as well. My therapist knows this. If there is ANY little change, she will notify me. Recently she said, "I need to tell you something so that you will have a heads up and it has nothing to do with you, so I don't want you to take it personal."

I thought she was going to change my appointment time or tell me she couldn't see me weekly anymore! She wanted to tell me that her father-in-law was critically ill and they were not expecting him to make it. She wanted me to know ahead of time in case she had to call me and cancel an appointment.

I felt rather bad about that. But she knows me well. Any little thing can throw me off terribly bad. Like you, I wonder why those little things bother me so much! I obsess over them and think them to death trying to figure out "Why" it happened or "What" did she mean by this or that action or statement. I have been with her 2 years now. I do email her if something is bothering me so that I don't drive myself nuts worrying about it.

[stopdog]

I like routine too. I hope your t will tell you why he changed yours.

[unaluna]

I recommend asking sooner rather than later? or else you might get one of those, "was something different? I don't remember. next time ask when it is happening" answers - I hate when THAT happens.

[lostmyway21]

I would definitly email and ask. Better to put yourself at ease, then worry about it.

[pbutton]

I have an email written and I feel stupid now. Argh. I can't decide what to do.

[pbutton]

Deleted the email draft. Now I'm second-guessing myself and my memory of what happened. This could drag out all day... possibly the full 2 weeks until my next appt.

You have good instincts and you are entitled to not second guess yourself for the next two weeks. You know something was different and I am confident that your T would not want you to be in even a little distress for the next two weeks.

[pbutton]

Maybe I'll draft the email here...

Dear T,

I'm insane. Did you disappear before we got to the door last night? Did I mention that I'm insane?

Sincerely,
MAKE.IT.STOP.

I did just realize that his briefcase was on the side table. That was new & I remember looking at it a few times. Maybe he was leaving early. Maybe I need to quit this & think about something more productive.

[pbutton]

Holyhell. I just emailed him. UGHHHHHH.. Pardon me while I go hide my head in my desk.

I'm sure there is a simple explanation to him doing things differently: potty break, had to leave quickly, etc. But if it is going to bother you, certainly let him know how the change in his routine has bothered you. Maybe ask for some warning in the future if he is gong to change things up. (He may not have any idea this change was going to be a problem for you, but at least now he'll be more cognizant of the situation.)

[sjkero]

Originally Posted by pbutton

Holyhell. I just emailed him. UGHHHHHH.. Pardon me while I go hide my head in my desk.

good for you! i'm glad you did. did you send it as you have it written above? will you keep us posted on what happens?

[unaluna]

Cute email! As Seinfeld's mother would say, how could anybody not love you?

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by sjkero

good for you! i'm glad you did. did you send it as you have it written above? will you keep us posted on what happens?

Thank you. I will keep you posted. Unless of course he responds by telling me he walked me all the way to my car or my front door. At that point I'll be too busy trying to figure out how exactly how and where I'm injesting the hallucinogenics.

[pbutton]

And... a response.... could he be any faster???

He had to go leave to pick up his child & he is very sorry that it bothered me.

I feel better. Sort of silly, but better. Lesson learned.

[unaluna]

Mystery solved, but better yet, rupture repaired! You reached out, you asked, you risked, and you got an answer!!! Not a slap in the face! So huggy!

eta - now i'm kind of mad at when they answered, you should have asked at the time it happened. I mean, they should have acknowledged my asking later as an effort to connect, acknowledged my fear? idk.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by hankster

eta - now i'm kind of mad at when they answered, you should have asked at the time it happened. I mean, they should have acknowledged my asking later as an effort to connect, acknowledged my fear? idk.

I think so. But I'm still at the baby stage where I get heartily rewarded for the tiniest bit of reaching out and asking for something.

[pudsey]

can I suggest that you email your driving yourself crazy over something that is probably nothing little changes affect people in different ways send the email im sure there will be osme reassurance in the reply x