[sittingatwatersedge]

from a recent post.... My T would actually encourage you to lean on him a little more as a way to help you break down that defensive strategy

This really struck me. How do you lean on your T? Anyone?

[crazycanbegood]

I literally do it.

I also email what I am feeling, even if T doesn't reply. I text when I might need a one line boost from T or call when I need some words of encouragement or a reminder I am not alone. And I also may ask for an extra session.

I am so used to being a private person and depending only on myself. I keep walls up all around me. By making myself more vulnerable with T and more trusting of T, I have seen myself be more open with others in my life, particularly new people I meet. I don't feel the need to protect myself from them so much because, I guess, T hasn't hurt me so it's possible for others not to hurt me as well.

[stopdog]

I suppose if it came up I could. So far there has been no real reason to "lean" on the therapist. I am trying to imagine under what circumstance I would do such a thing and not coming up with anything.

[pbutton]

He wrote me a note saying to call or email him when I need help. I occasionally email him.

[Hope-Full]

When I was going through a really hard time, and T said to call if I needed to, I actually called. I called almost every day during that time. I didn't talk to T every time, but just calling to connect was really helpful during that time.

[KazzaX]

Definitely not. I don't think she would like that either hehe.. doesn't seem appropriate for my therapy (maybe for others, I dunno).

ETA: ooh i read the question wrongly. You asked how you do it. Apparently you are supposed to tell them secret stuff about yourself to build trust, and then after that you go to them for advice for problems. That's what I gathered from observation, anyways. I have never leant on a T before so I am not talking from experience - take my reply with a grain of salt haha

[vanessaG]

I guess I lean on me T by seeing him twice a week? And sending random ranting emails...
Other than that, nothing. He wrote to email him anytime but I'm not used to leaning on other people....I feel twice a week sessions are already 'leaning' on him too much

I literally lean on my T too, or hold her hand.
And I occassionally email her, because it makes me feel better to know that she knows what current trauma-rama thing is going on with me or what stress I'm going through, helps me feel less alone. I am trying to learn to lean on other people instead of being the strong, silent type. Its a bit weird.

T uses the word "use" her. I disliked that at first, the thought of using people sounded horrible, rather go it alone then do that, but eventually I drilled a hole through my defences and realised I did need to use her as I had no inner emotional strength, yes had walls but no real strength. Strange even as I write this I am reminded of the paradox that being able to seek help is in itself true strengh.

[Towanda]

I've leaned on my T by becoming 100% vulnerable, open and trusting with another human being for the first time in my life. I have learned to express anger by getting angry at him and not falling apart. He's letting me lean on him since I was diagnosed a couple of days ago with RA and am just starting to go through all the emotional stages of learning that I am now a person with an incurable and progressive disease.

My husband is my rock - always has been, always will be. But my T is that still, small, gentle voice in my head that helps me stay calm when I'm loosing it and helps me remember how strong I really am.