[faith1983]

I saw t yesterday and he suggested that the next step for us would be preparing the end. I'm so heartbroken right now, feel like crying my heart out! I guess he is probably right cause I have trouble to open up lately but it was so unexpected... Even though I was seeing him for less than one year, I feel like I'll soon lose someone I really trust... Anyone ever experienced this or went through terminaison?

[sconnie892]

I haven't been through this transition, but I am fearful of the day my t says the same thing. HUGS.

[critterlady]

I had to terminate with my last T because he was moving to another state. He gave me lots of notice, though, and we talked about it nearly every week during the two months before he left. He gave me a list of therapists he knew that he thought I might like to continue with, since we both knew there was no way I was ready to not be in therapy at that point.

I cried pretty much every time we talked about him leaving. Our last session was heartbreaking for me, but really very satisfying. We talked about how far I'd come and he told me some things he hadn't told me before. I did not want it to end, but he kept to his time boundary like he always did. We'd never touched, except for a handshake the first time we met, but he asked if it was okay for him to hug me. We hugged for what seemed like forever and then it was over.

I've spent a good part of the last 3 months dealing with the loss in sessions with my new T. I would have to assume that if you are ready not to be in therapy, it might not be so difficult.

I hope he manages the termination transition well - it sounds like he's not planning a hasty retreat or anything, which is good.

Can you talk with him more about why he thinks this is the next step? Perhaps get a better understanding of why its happening and go from there? Sorry if I'm missing something. I know you said you are having a hard time opening up lately..but maybe if you can at least open up about WHY you can't open up..that would be a start...

[CantExplain]

I have ended with several Ts, but not always with a formal termination procedure.
Even when my group ended, there wasn't any real structure.

The one termination I remember didn't help at all!
Put me down as sceptical/hostile.

[precious things]

I would be curious to know if this was due to an outside influnence (like an insurance issue that only allows for so many visits, for ex). It strikes me as odd that someone you have been working with for almost a year just randomly says it is time to wind down.

I had one t wrap things up after like 15 sessions and I was completely thrown and it did not leave a pleasant taste. I hope you are able to discuss this and let your t know why this doesn't feel comfortable for you .

[Wren_]

i hope you can tell him how you reacted and that the two of you together can work out if it is really time or not

[faith1983]

Thanks everyone for your response! I really appreciate it!

@ Sconnie: When it'll happen, i'll probably be done with my termination so I'll be there to support you!

@ Critterlady:thank you for sharing your story; it's helpful! I was feeling like I was crazy b/c I was crying for my t! Hope to have a great last session, just like yours

@tryintogetby & tigergirl: I'll surely let him know how I feel and the way I react to this... I don't think he will hurry for us to be done so I guess I have some time left before it's actually over

@CantExplain: Do you know why the termination you went through wasn't helpful? Could maybe help me to have a "better" end

@Precious things: it's not an outside influence; I pay out of my pocket and have no insurance and I see a t in private practice so there was not limit. I spoke about ending twice before and t convince me it wasn't a good idea at this time but now, he's the one initiating the discussion. I thing he's right, it's maybe the right time to wrap up and go on but for now, I feel like I couldn't feel good if he wasn't there to support me... The way I feel now, I'm almost regreting the decison I made a year ago to go in therapy b/c I feel like I cannot do it...

Anyway, thanks again for your response, it's making me feel... supported!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by faith1983

@CantExplain: Do you know why the termination you went through wasn't helpful? Could maybe help me to have a "better" end

I don't know for certain, but my current theory is this:

I was very angry with T but I wasn't prepared to admit that, even to myself.

I told myself, "She made one mistake, it was really only an error of judgement, she admitted it and apologised, I can't hold it against her."

I ignored the part that said, "She betrayed your trust and destroyed something valuable that can never be replaced."

[faith1983]

I ignored the part that said, "She betrayed your trust and destroyed something valuable that can never be replaced."

That's exactly how I feel! I tried to end twice while I wasn't too attached and now that I am, bam, we should end! WTH, I trusted you and see what's happening?

Thanks CantExplain, it's really helpful. I see him tomorrow so I guess I should try not to avoid to tell him this.

Faith

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by critterlady

I had to terminate with my last T because he was moving to another state. He gave me lots of notice... he asked if it was okay for him to hug me. We hugged for what seemed like forever and then it was over.....

I was so touched to read about this ending you had. I'm a long way from the door at the moment, but this is how I would hope ending could be for me. Not that there isn't pain; but no coldness, no abruptness, no shock of surprise, no rejection. happy for you (((((((((((((((((((clady))))))))))))))))))